entirely ruined her disposition with books

I made a most influential albums list. I basically went through my iTunes and put down every album that I've listened to many times, no matter how embarrassing (see: Christian music from my childhood--I actually didn't include ALL of those, just the ones that I listened to most. Otherwise this list would have a lot of WOW albums from the late 90s and early 2000s, among other embarrassing stuff). It ended up being 160 lol.

Of course, this is only albums--there are songs that are super important to me that would not be included on such a list. But I have always been an albums listener instead of a singles listener, so this seems like a better way to do it.

I also did not include any classical music--Bernstein conducting Aaron Copland isn't here, for instance, or the Beethoven my dad used to play, etc. The closest I get is, like, John Williams.

It's funny how some of these reflect albums I just happened to stumble over in, like, the Celtic section of my public library--quite a few of these were so obscure I had to add them myself.


My main conclusion after looking it over is that I am extremely white.

I almost forgot!

If any of y'all are Loreena McKennitt fans but don't get her newsletter, you might not know that you can watch the behind-the-scenes special about her 2007 tour (the one I went to!!!) now through the 27th. It's really lovely and made me very nostalgic!




Watch it before it's gone!

Vienna Teng is a genre writer. She just happens write songs instead of stories.

Songs like "The Hymn of Acxiom" and "No Gringo" and "Radio" are all speculative fiction. "Blue Caravan" is somehow a historical drama. "In Another Life" is one of those twisty reincarnation romances that masquerade as literary fiction because the prose is beautiful. "My Medea" is one of those retellings of ancient myths that are so hot right now. If "Watershed" were a short story, it would be taught in scifi classes at Ivy League colleges.

And every time I listen to "Whatever You Want" song, I realize it's the plot of a Korean melodrama. And I want that Kdrama.




I'm now pondering who I would cast....

First in music-related news: today when I was FaceTiming with my nephew, he sang "Jolene" to me, and I have never been more proud as an aunt. (Then he turned to his mommy and said, "Que es Jolene?")

Also: I'm listening to Faure's Requiem while I write this post to this, which cracks me up.


abyss_valkyrie requested that I talk about some favorite kpop songs from different groups. She requested ten, but when I started, I couldn't restrain myself and I went straight to twenty. And I still left out groups/artists that I feel bad for leaving out!

One group, one song. Alphabetical order.

+ 9muses: Wild
2013 was Namyu's Golden Age with my favorite lineup and four incredible singles. I had a hard time choosing between this and "Dolls," but I think I made the right choice. God, I miss that sweet, sweet Sweetune sound. My true 2nd gen producers soulmates. The mv is pretty exploitative (I think this is one of the ones Sera was angry about for the sake of the maknaes) but gosh, the song is so good.

+ AKMU: Eyes, Nose, Lips
I hope they'll forgive me for not choosing one of their own songs, but I had to go with this cover. Big Bang is always duking it out with Super Junior for my least-favorite kpop group (because of the behavior of the members), but I have to admit that Taeyang wrote one hell of a song. I prefer this cover by the most talented siblings in kpop. Suhyun has one of my all-time favorite voices. I listen to this cover all the time.

+ b1a4: What's Happening?
One of those songs that makes me loose my mind with happiness. The best single b1a4 ever put out by far--congrats, Jinyoung, you done good. Another song I listen to all the time. I remain very fond of the softest boys in kpop.

+ BoA: Atlantis Princess
It's a cliche pick for a reason. I don't have a lot of knowledge of BoA's deeper catalogue, but of her singles, this one's still my favorite. A classic that will never die.

+ Brown Eyed Girls: Sixth Sense
You could pick any BEG song and it would be quality, but this remains one of my favorite mvs of all time and the first one of their songs I fell in love with. I hate how underrated BEG is. They debuted as grown women, they've had more agency in their own careers than most groups could ever dream of, and they're insanely talented. The true legends. 

+ Dreamcatcher: Red Sun
If I'd picked one of their singles, I would have gone with "Piri," but I want to call attention to this one instead. The song, the choreo (by Sua!), the Stevie Nicks-esque styling--I love them more than I can say, and this is just a great summation of why.

+ f(x): Airplane
f(x)'s Pink Tape and Red Light albums are probably kpop the albums I listen to straight through most often. SMEnt is, like all other kpop companies, garbage, but they're garbage with amazing songwriters. I love this song so much that it's my ringtone when my sister calls.

+ Girls Generation: Genie 
I've never been the biggest Soshi stan, but they are the most influential girl group in the history of kpop and they have some real bops. I had a hard time choosing between this, "Into the New World," and "Hoot." I feel a little bad because the lyrics are pretty damn sexist, but the song is so great!

+ H.O.T.: Candy
Is it the first kpop song? No, but it's pretty close. And it's just so damn catchy! Sweet like candy! I love that this is one of those songs that every group covers eventually.

+ Hyuna: Bubble Pop!
Classic summer pop from a legend. Nothing more need be said.

+ Infinite: Diamond
I refrained from choosing "The Chaser" for this one because I figure if you've listened to Infinite ever, you've listened to that song. (But if you haven't, go listen to it because it's the greatest boy band kpop single of all time.) Instead I'm going with this slightly more uncharacteristic song that I still find so heartbreakingly beautiful. I love that it shows off their vocals--they had come so far since debut!--and especially Dongwoo's since Dongwoo is forever and always Infinite's hidden vocal.

+ Lim Kim: Awoo!
Before my favorite solo singer decided to go WAY indie and start making music that I just can't listen to (but I love you, girl! keep doing what makes you happy!), she put out a bunch of great songs. This one never gets old. So clever, so listenable. And the aesthetic of the mv ended up dominating female kpop mvs for years and years, but when she first released this, it looked fresh and unlike anything else.

+ Oh My Girl: Closer
One of the most beautiful songs in the history of kpop. One of my great kpop heartbreaks is that it didn't blow up the way it should have. If this song had been released by a more established group (I think this was OMG's second release? third? it was VERY early in their careers and they were definitely nugus), I think it would have taken over the world. OMG's fairy pop is always intoxicating, but never more than here.

+ Red Velvet: Sunny Side Up
I had such a hard time choosing for them, and I can't justify choosing this particular song. Maybe I just chose it because it gets stuck in my head so often? Like f(x), RV has some of the best writers in the industry behind them, and while they do sometimes release things I'm not really into, most of their stuff, B-sides included is SO solid.

+ Shinee: Countless
Really the only guy group beside Infinite that I mess with. I've really been loving this one a lot recently. I don't know why I've been so into this particular song lately, but I am. It's so fresh!

+ Spica: You Don't Love Me
The most underrated group in kpop (and I say that even as a 9muses fan). Their vocals have never been touched and their songs were amazing. I will never forgive the industry for not letting them succeed. If I could revive one group from the dead, it would be them. But at least we've got Keembo.

+ Subin: Circle's Dream
This song is my ringtone for when my mom calls. I love it too much to be able to talk about it.

+ Sunmi: Gashina
Sometimes songs blow up because they deserve to. I wish Wonder Girls were still around, but I am glad that Sunmi has had such a successful career post-breakup. This is definitely her most iconic release so far.

+ Teen Top: To You
I don't listen to a ton of guy group songs just in general, but TT was promoting this one while Infinite was promoting The Chaser and they did a a special stage where they switched songs (one of my all-time favorite special stages) and that's how I heard this one. It's more than seven years later and I still haven't stopped listening to it.

+ Weki Meki: Crush
Venturing out of my 2nd generation lane again: Weki Meki are one of my favorite of the 3rd gen groups. I love their stage presence, they consistently put out great songs, their choreo is fun. This one is my favorite of their singles, a truly perfect pop song. And the mv has enough of a sense of humor that it becomes memorable.

IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN I HOPED IT WOULD BE. AND YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH IT EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE KPOP.



Sometimes I really, really love life.

+ First of all: I have been really, really bad at checking my flist lately. Sometimes I go to do it and it just feels like to much to scroll through it all. But the thing is: I want to engage with y'all, so if you ever have anything that you post that you think I might be interested in/that you want me to check out PLEASE tell me. Don't think of it as imposing on me at all--it isn't. As a matter of fact, it's so much easier for me to be given a link or even a "I just posted something new; you should check it out!" and get to your entry that way. So leave a comment on any post in my journal, send me a private message, email me, nudge me on tumblr--anything! I've been embarrassingly late to several posts lately because of my mental health stuff and I feel bad.

+ As always, the worst part of being an adult is the never-endingness of it all. As soon as I take care of this responsibility or that one, another three pop up. It's not like I can do everything I need to do get caught up and then take a breather for a while before the next thing comes. IT'S EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. And my mental health issues make it so much harder to deal with because I have to have time to psych myself up before I do anything--even paying a bill online. It makes no sense but it is what it is. And since I'm edging perilously close to 26 (which seems so much more adult to me than 25 for some reason--maybe because I'm no longer in my early-20s omg that's terrifying I still feel exactly like I did when I was 16) I just feel like I'm never going to breeze through the adulthood thing the way I wish I could. Ugh.

+ So while I have obviously abandoned my original-novel-writing for NaNo, I did write 50,000 words this month! I mean, it was all fic (most of it gender!swap porn because I am me), but still! That's a lot of words! I'm proud of me! Now if only I could fuel all of that into my original fiction...bleck.

+ All of a sudden I cannot log into tumblr at work. Every time I click on the login link, it pops up briefly and before I can even type in my email address much less my password, it flips back to the homepage. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING. UUUUUUGH. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that we're still on IE here at work (which would be hilarious if it weren't ridiculous), but it just happened so suddenly--yesterday it was fine and now it isn't. I cleared out the cache and that still didn't help. And I am reminded of just how awful my tumblr-addiction is and this is probably a good thing. But I really wanted to tell Infinite fandom something!

+ I really hate the new updates page here. I'm using the old one till they pry it from my cold dead hands. Why do they think adding flash (or whatever it is) to everything is a good idea?

+ THE HOUR IS SO GOOD OMG SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD. I just love that show so much and I thought there was no way it would be as good as last season but it totally is (plus bonus new ship and Marnie being a hbic!). Glorious show!

+ New Girl is also still good and Jess and Nick should just get married already. And Happy Endings continues to be crazy and delightful. The Good Wife is still pretty solid, Kalinda plotline aside (I hear they're going to be writing that one out quickly which THANK YOU). I think those are all the things I'm watching consistently at the moment?

+ Totally caught up on Lizzie Bennet Diaries and if you aren't watching it you definitely should be. I lovelovelove all the choices they're making adaptation-wise (especially with updating modern things that you wouldn't think would translate well to the new setting) and the actors are all so endearing and it's smart without being pretentious. Even if you're not an Austen fan, I think you'll still enjoy it. I like Austen but am not crazy about her, but I'm crazy about this.

Here are my three favorite (non-spoilery) things about it so far:

1. The fact that it's basically a study in introvert vs. extrovert. I don't think that any other version has done such a good job showing that the basic problem in the Lizzie-Darcy relationship is that Darcy is HUGELY SOCIALLY AWKWARD and doesn't know how to put people at their ease (because he's not at ease) and Lizzie misunderstands how aloofness and thinks it comes from arrogance and THAT IS THE WHOLE PROBLEM. I lovelovelove it.

2. The characterizations. For one thing, Lizzie is lovely and wonderful but she also makes BIG MISTAKES and can be mean sometimes. I love that they really show her flaws instead of making her some perfect heroine. On the other end of the spectrum we have the characters who are treated so very well--Lydia's always been a vivid character, but here she's lovable and adorbs(!) and you see so much more going on with her and I just love her to death. And Caroline! Instead of just being a stuck-up villain, she seems very real to me--even when she's not being nice, I still really understand her and care about her. And Ricky Collins is hysterical omg instead of odious. Basically it's all sunshine and lollipops.

3. The lady relationships!!!! SO MANY OF THEM. THEY'RE SO IMPORTANT. YAY!

+ Saw Skyfall, had some problems with it, but I still really enjoyed the overall experience even though I understand why some people weren't happy with it. Want a Moneypenny movie. Ben Wishaw should be in everything.

+ Question: is Idris Elba really officially being considered to be the next Bond or is that just an internet thing that ran away with itself? Because YES PLEASE.

+ Thanksgiving was good. A nice break and REALLY GOOD FOOD and some quieter family times.

+ Here, have a song off of Sunggyu's solo album. It's not even slightly kpop-y and is also excellent! Featuring a badass lady bassist and Kim Myungsoo's stupid face/horrible acting! Everything I love in life, pretty much!

NEW OBSESSION ALERT:



Seriously, watch this video. It made my whole night. And I think I've finally found ~my girl group. Fei (the one with the curly hair) is my QUEEN, but all the ladies seem super awesome! (I already loved Suzy because she played this absolutely wonderful hbic character in Dream High. That drama was just decent, but her character was GREAT.) I was bouncing along with this song on my way to work, it's so damn delightful.

Lyric translations here. What I love about this song is this is a woman who says, "I don't want to be a burden to my parents [note: ONLY IN A KPOP SONG], so I work really hard for what I have, and it may not be a lot, but I know how to be content. I can live well without you so you better not be all talk, you better take this seriously." I find that really delightful.

Also: I am FOUR ICONS AWAY from reaching my limit. This is distressing to me. That's too close for comfort.

+ It's Friday! Yay! Even though the weeks go by so much faster now than they used to, it's still nice to reach the end of the week and know that I have more at home time for the next couple of days.

+ To celebrate, y'all should watch this performance by the leader of my ridiculous boy band because it is glorious. And not even slightly kpop-y, so if you don't like that kind of music (I mostly don't either, which is hilarious to me), that's okay: you can still like this. It's beautiful. I can't imagine not loving it.



Sometimes when I get in a bad mood I watch Sunggyu's performances on Immortal Song 2 (of which this is one), and then I just feel better about the world because they are all amazing in their own way. Boy is talented.

+ And for your daily dose of sex, here is the love of my life. Watch it in 1080!



+ ( and now for a brief ramble about my feelings about one Lee Sungyeol )

+ ( in which I crack myself up SO MUCH and am delighted by my own hilarity )

+ Haven't seen Vampire Diaries yet because I went out to dinner last night with the BFF who I hadn't seen in weeks. I think I might avoid tumblr till I get a chance to watch it? Possibly. I'm not really sure. But you can tell me if you liked it or not in the comments if you so wish.

+ I watched the Big Fat Quiz of the 90s the other night, and I swear the last seven minutes are the most hilarious/horrifying thing I have ever seen. I was SCREAMING and laughing and cringing and this isn't even a British cultural artifact that I'm familiar with and it DID NOT MATTER.



+ If anybody sees Argo, let me know how you like it. Looper, too. I'm tempted to go see them, especially Looper because of my Rian Johnson feelings dating back to Brick, but of course only if they're good.

+ As far as reading goes, I read The Devil in the White City and LOVED IT. It's been a while since I gobbled up a book like that and it felt good. This post sums up my experience with reading any of substance that's not fanfiction for the past year or two. I hadn't ever heard anyone else articulate it before, and it made me feel better to know that I'm not alone. I remember the days where I would read two or three books a week, constantly reading, constantly constantly constantly, and I miss that. A lot. But knowing other people sometimes get "reader's block" makes me feel better.

And if you can think of any other nonfiction books that are that easy to read, that interesting, that focused on something random from history, you should totally rec me because I want to read them.

+ My parents have been married for 29 years as of a week or two ago. This makes me ridiculously happy, because they still enjoy each other so much and have such a strong marriage. They've definitely, definitely had rough patches and they fight and hurt each other of course. But even when my friends' parents started divorcing, I never once worried that mine would. I felt really...safe with my parents' marriage, if that makes any sense. I feel like much of my love of the institution of marriage (and my narrative kink for marriage, too) stems from growing up around a good one, one where it was clear they worked very, very hard at maintaining it (not to imply that other people don't work hard and things still don't work out). And if I ever get married myself, I will have so much wisdom to build on, and that is a very great gift. I'm really proud of what they've built. It's really beautiful.

+ To be even more sappy for a brief moment (you know how I am), I just want to say how much I love y'all. kwritten and I have been exploding with love for fandom as community and dialogue with art, etc. lately and for good reason. My friends I've met through fandom have been such a beautiful part of my life--I value my friendship with you as much as I do any "real life" ones. The fact that I can have conversations with you about the nature of art, about how I feel about writing and about how Mr. Blobby makes me laugh/cringe is just one of my greatest pleasures in life. I sometimes feel as though I should feel that I'm lacking something since most of my current friendships that aren't with the BFF/members of my family are all online, but I don't feel that way at all. I get what I need, human-communication-and-connection-wise, from y'all. So thank you for that.

Y'all.

Y'all.

Look at this track list for the Hunger Games soundtrack:

1 Taylor Swift (Feat. The Civil Wars) – “Safe & Sound”
02 Taylor Swift – “Eyes Wide Open”
03 Arcade Fire – “Abraham’s Daughter”
04 Kid Cudi – “The Ruler & The Killer”
05 Miranda Lambert (Feat. Pistol Annies) – “Run Daddy Run”
06 The Civil Wars – “Kingdom Come”
07 The Decemberists – “One Engine”
08 Glen Hansard – “Take the Heartland”
09 The Low Anthem – “Lover is Childlike”
10 Punch Brothers – “Dark Days”
11 Secret Sisters – “Tomorrow Will Be Kinder”
12 Birdy – “Just a Game”
13 Ella Mae Bowen – “Oh Come & Sing”
14 Jayme Dee – “Rules”
15 Carolina Chocolate Drops – “Reaping Day”
16 Neko Case – “Give Me Something I’ll Remember”

THE CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS. ON THE SAME ALBUM AS THE CIVIL WARS. AND GLEN HANSARD. AND THE DECEMBERISTS. AND EVEN MIRANDA LAMBERT.* WHAT IS THIS?

Although it feels a little strange that there's no Allison Krauss. Maybe she was too busy?

*And okay, maybe I haven't really liked her albums since the first one which was awesome, but I am still fond of her in ways that don't make any sense.

fandom is not supposed to make me cry like a sappy little baby.

but when it's this beautiful, i cannot help it.