entirely ruined her disposition with books

My Sungyeol/Woohyun epic is now more than 100,000 words long. WHO EVEN AM I? WHAT IS THIS UNIVERSE I'M LIVING IN? WHAT.

[eta] Just an fyi: this post is a continual work in progress. I'm always editing and updating and changing my mind about things, so it's probably never going to be the same any two times you visit it. But this is real people we're talking about, so obviously my feelings are going to change as my perceptions do.

I am going to go ahead and apologize in advance about this, y'all. This is one part pimp-post of DOOM, two-parts me spewing incoherent feelings on everything in the world, with a dash of meta and some drooling thrown in. It's basically a big giant mess, just like I am these days. I am so, so sorry. Please just love me anyway.



This is a post about these kids:


source

Awww! Aren't they cute? Well, forget all about that.


Introduction
(or: they're sexy and they know it)

Note: I am blaming this opening on aerintine because she enables me. Ahem.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE FEMALE GAZE.

Gah, this is so over-the-top in its invitation to look at the beautiful boys and drool over how sexy they are. Like, it's so over-the-top that I'm almost ashamed for falling for it. Except that I am not even a little bit ashamed because THESE BOYS ARE REALLY HOT and they are playing to my gaze and there is no room for shame here in being a woman and having a sex drive and thinking guys are hot. I love it.




Part I: Music and Me
(or: this part will only be relevant to my friends who were wondering what happened to my sanity)

source

Y'all, in the last couple of weeks of falling for this silly little kpop band, I have sometimes wondered whether it actually makes sense to be this obsessed with a band whose music I care nothing about. ( some thoughts on music in general and my tastes in particular )


Part II: The Greatest Video Ever
(or: a brief introduction to the boys being supremely silly that proves why you should find them endearing)

I've thought that Myungsoo is beautiful since the first episode of SUFBB. And I was really taken with him when I watched clips of him on youtube because, as I said in another post, I have this huge soft spot for people who are trying to be cool and just aren't. But I didn't really expect to be taken with the rest of the boys, but I have been.

So let me share with you this video again, and I will talk about it and how much I love these kids.

Things I love about this video:

( this is who i am now apparently )

The only thing I do not like about this video: Sungyeol isn't in it, because he was sick that night. I can only imagine how much better it would be if he were. Watch this video of ridiculousness and let your imagination run wild.



Part III: The Boys
(or: way too many words and feelings about these people I have never met)

And now for some thoughts on each of the boys. I'm going in reverse-age-order because everyone always goes in age order and I want to shake things up a bit.


( diva sungjongie )


( faily faily derpsoo )


( prince sungyeol )


( dance machine hoya )


( namstar woohyun )


( flawless human being dongwoo (who might actually be the love of my life) )


( leader general grandpa gyu )



Interlude: Friendships
(or: some feelings about the two of the biggest ships in English-speaking fandom)

I want to take a brief moment to touch on a couple of relationships between the boys that I find interesting, too.

( myungsoo and sungyeol )

( woohyun and sunggyu )



Part IV: INFINITE
(or: who they are as a group)

source

And I think another aspect of my affection for them is that they are, in a lot of ways, the underdogs. ( who they are )


Conclusion
(or: actually, I don't just treat them like eye candy)

Now, remember how cute they are:


source

Awwww!

But here's the thing: for all that drooling I did way up there at the top of this post, 90% of the time I don't really look at these kids that way? I feel like I've gotten to know them a bit through their variety show appearances, and I'm very, very fond of the ones I'm fond of. But most of the time it's in a big sisterly way. Like, I want to be their noona and look after them and take care of them and give them advice and tease them and stuff. Like I said: not hugely into their music, but I'm proud of them for working so very, very hard (it's amazing to me how hard Korean entertainers work. Their work ethic is insane). But then that 10% of the happens: they'll come out with a video that's all about how hot they are and I'm like, "OH YEAH THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE, TOO."

Anyway, these boys make me happy. I'm pleased that they were my introduction to kpop and that they are, from what I can tell, having a hell of a lot of fun making music and dancing together. I hope they keep it up for as long as it makes them happy.

And now if you're curious, here are their music videos (I actually included the dance versions of a couple of them because they're better than the actual videos):

( music videos galore! )

I am going to go ahead and apologize in advance about this, y'all. This is one part pimp-post of DOOM, two-parts me spewing incoherent feelings on everything in the world, with a dash of meta and some drooling thrown in. It's basically a big giant mess, just like I am these days. I am so, so sorry. Please just love me anyway.



This is a post about these kids:


source

Awww! Aren't they cute? Well, forget all about that.


Introduction
(or: they're sexy and they know it)

Note: I am blaming this opening on aerintine because she enables me. Ahem.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE FEMALE GAZE.

Gah, this is so over-the-top in its invitation to look at the beautiful boys and drool over how sexy they are. Like, it's so over-the-top that I'm almost ashamed for falling for it. Except that I am not even a little bit ashamed because THESE BOYS ARE REALLY HOT and they are playing to my gaze and there is no room for shame here in being a woman and having a sex drive and thinking guys are hot. I love it.




Part I: Music and Me
(or: this part will only be relevant to my friends who were wondering what happened to my sanity)

source

Y'all, in the last couple of weeks of falling for this silly little kpop band, I have sometimes wondered whether it actually makes sense to be this obsessed with a band whose music I care nothing about. ( some thoughts on music in general and my tastes in particular )


Part II: The Greatest Video Ever
(or: a brief introduction to the boys being supremely silly that proves why you should find them endearing)

I've thought that Myungsoo is beautiful since the first episode of SUFBB. And I was really taken with him when I watched clips of him on youtube because, as I said in another post, I have this huge soft spot for people who are trying to be cool and just aren't. But I didn't really expect to be taken with the rest of the boys, but I have been.

So let me share with you this video again, and I will talk about it and how much I love these kids.

Things I love about this video:

( this is who i am now apparently )

The only thing I do not like about this video: Sungyeol isn't in it, because he was sick that night. I can only imagine how much better it would be if he were. Watch this video of ridiculousness and let your imagination run wild.



Part III: The Boys
(or: way too many words and feelings about these people I have never met)

And now for some thoughts on each of the boys. I'm going in reverse-age-order because everyone always goes in age order and I want to shake things up a bit.


( diva sungjongie )


( faily faily derpsoo )


( prince sungyeol )


( dance machine hoya )


( namstar woohyun )


( flawless human being dongwoo (who might actually be the love of my life) )


( leader general grandpa gyu )



Interlude: Friendships
(or: some feelings about the two of the biggest ships in English-speaking fandom)

I want to take a brief moment to touch on a couple of relationships between the boys that I find interesting, too.

( myungsoo and sungyeol )

( woohyun and sunggyu )



Part IV: INFINITE
(or: who they are as a group)

source

And I think another aspect of my affection for them is that they are, in a lot of ways, the underdogs. ( who they are )


Conclusion
(or: actually, I don't just treat them like eye candy)

Now, remember how cute they are:


source

Awwww!

But here's the thing: for all that drooling I did way up there at the top of this post, 90% of the time I don't really look at these kids that way? I feel like I've gotten to know them a bit through their variety show appearances, and I'm very, very fond of the ones I'm fond of. But most of the time it's in a big sisterly way. Like, I want to be their noona and look after them and take care of them and give them advice and tease them and stuff. Like I said: not hugely into their music, but I'm proud of them for working so very, very hard (it's amazing to me how hard Korean entertainers work. Their work ethic is insane). But then that 10% of the happens: they'll come out with a video that's all about how hot they are and I'm like, "OH YEAH THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE, TOO."

Anyway, these boys make me happy. I'm pleased that they were my introduction to kpop and that they are, from what I can tell, having a hell of a lot of fun making music and dancing together. I hope they keep it up for as long as it makes them happy.

And now if you're curious, here are their music videos (I actually included the dance versions of a couple of them because they're better than the actual videos):

( music videos galore! )

Y'all, I can't even tell you what my seasonal_spuffy fic is about (on the off-chance that I don't finish it in time, I don't want people to be disappointed), but I think it signals that I am indeed losing the last vestiges of my sanity. I don't even know who I am anymore. It is that ridiculous. Crack-ville, here I come.

I don’t really have much to say? But I feel the need to check in and make posts so:

+ Kdramas have taken over my brain. I remember once Emmie asked me what I liked about them, and I don't think I answered because at the time I didn't know, but now I know: they cater to my id far more than American TV does. I think that's because they're less post-modern-ly ironic? They're not afraid to be earnest, plus a lot of my kinks seem to be their kinks. I don't know that they've yet produced something that captures life the way, say, Friday Night Lights or (I hear tell) The Wire or something, but it's a younger medium over there and they have given me things like Mawang, and I will die on this hill: THAT DRAMA WAS ART. HIGH ART. The end.

+ I’ve watched the first three episodes of My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, which I love mostly because of Shin Min Ah’s absolutely unbelievably adorable performance as said gumiho. It is, however, a Hong sisters show, and I have the same complaints about it that I do about their other stuff (too slapstick and OTT at times, too much bathroom humor, etc.). But I’m definitely enjoying it. Mi Ho reminds me so much of Anya with her blunt literalism coming from not knowing modern culture, and while Dae Woong hasn't totally won me over yet (he's too selfish at this point), I can already tell he's going to grow into someone awesome. They will SO be one of my ships, I can already tell.

+ On the other hand…it might be a while till I finish it, because I have decided that this weekend I’m going to rewatch Shut Up! Flower Boy Band. I cannot get over how much I love it. I can’t get over how much I care about these kids and their lost little selves. I can’t get over how great (and nuanced) the bromances are and how functional (and adorable) the ships are. I can’t get over the pacing and HOW IT DOESN’T LAG and is exactly as long as it should be. I can’t get over how much it cares about its characters and the lives it lets them live. I’m going to be buying this on DVD, joining Goong and (probably) Mawang on my list of kdramas-I-must-own. GAH.

+ As brilliant as this drama is, I can’t find any good icons for it. So if any of you are ever bored and want to fool around with some caps, I’ve put some (read: a ridiculous amount) behind the cut. I don’t know how good they’ll be for iconning, since that’s not what I do, but they’re there if you ever want to make my day for some reason.

( cut for caps )

+ [Sidebar: sometimes it sucks being so picky about icons. I mean, I could easily just crop any of these caps and BOOM there would be an icon. They're quality enough for that. But just a cap doesn't do it for me. I want them to be pretty and artistic and way more crafted than I am capable of doing. Ugh. I should really, really teach myself how to icon so that I'm not at the whims of other people.]

+ I’m also working on a picspam of my fave Korean actors. I think I just miss tumblr and all those pretty, pretty graphics.

+ I am behind on American TV. I haven’t watched this last week’s TVD or GOT or anything at all. That’s how much in kdrama land I am.

+ Also how in kdrama I am: my typical romance-will-happen-to-me-if-it-does-and-if-it-doesn’t-I’ve-got-the-internet-and-stories attitude has flown out the window and I’m all I WANT TO BE IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. Hopefully this will pass soon. I’m reminding myself of the terrible breakups Lil Sis and the BFF have just gone through.

+ The BFF and I have plans to see Hunger Games at some point this week, so look for my thoughts on that.

+ Still plugging away at the novel. I’ll have 50,000 words by the end of the week. I’m very proud of myself!

+ Still haven't written any fic. I have like 500 words of my mpreg fic, but that is all I have accomplished in forever. I SUCK AT LIFE.

+ Blahblahblah. But if anything's going on with you, feel free to tell me about it! I'd love to hear!

I don’t really have much to say? But I feel the need to check in and make posts so:

+ Kdramas have taken over my brain. I remember once Emmie asked me what I liked about them, and I don't think I answered because at the time I didn't know, but now I know: they cater to my id far more than American TV does. I think that's because they're less post-modern-ly ironic? They're not afraid to be earnest, plus a lot of my kinks seem to be their kinks. I don't know that they've yet produced something that captures life the way, say, Friday Night Lights or (I hear tell) The Wire or something, but it's a younger medium over there and they have given me things like Mawang, and I will die on this hill: THAT DRAMA WAS ART. HIGH ART. The end.

+ I’ve watched the first three episodes of My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, which I love mostly because of Shin Min Ah’s absolutely unbelievably adorable performance as said gumiho. It is, however, a Hong sisters show, and I have the same complaints about it that I do about their other stuff (too slapstick and OTT at times, too much bathroom humor, etc.). But I’m definitely enjoying it. Mi Ho reminds me so much of Anya with her blunt literalism coming from not knowing modern culture, and while Dae Woong hasn't totally won me over yet (he's too selfish at this point), I can already tell he's going to grow into someone awesome. They will SO be one of my ships, I can already tell.

+ On the other hand…it might be a while till I finish it, because I have decided that this weekend I’m going to rewatch Shut Up! Flower Boy Band. I cannot get over how much I love it. I can’t get over how much I care about these kids and their lost little selves. I can’t get over how great (and nuanced) the bromances are and how functional (and adorable) the ships are. I can’t get over the pacing and HOW IT DOESN’T LAG and is exactly as long as it should be. I can’t get over how much it cares about its characters and the lives it lets them live. I’m going to be buying this on DVD, joining Goong and (probably) Mawang on my list of kdramas-I-must-own. GAH.

+ As brilliant as this drama is, I can’t find any good icons for it. So if any of you are ever bored and want to fool around with some caps, I’ve put some (read: a ridiculous amount) behind the cut. I don’t know how good they’ll be for iconning, since that’s not what I do, but they’re there if you ever want to make my day for some reason.

( cut for caps )

+ [Sidebar: sometimes it sucks being so picky about icons. I mean, I could easily just crop any of these caps and BOOM there would be an icon. They're quality enough for that. But just a cap doesn't do it for me. I want them to be pretty and artistic and way more crafted than I am capable of doing. Ugh. I should really, really teach myself how to icon so that I'm not at the whims of other people.]

+ I’m also working on a picspam of my fave Korean actors. I think I just miss tumblr and all those pretty, pretty graphics.

+ I am behind on American TV. I haven’t watched this last week’s TVD or GOT or anything at all. That’s how much in kdrama land I am.

+ Also how in kdrama I am: my typical romance-will-happen-to-me-if-it-does-and-if-it-doesn’t-I’ve-got-the-internet-and-stories attitude has flown out the window and I’m all I WANT TO BE IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. Hopefully this will pass soon. I’m reminding myself of the terrible breakups Lil Sis and the BFF have just gone through.

+ The BFF and I have plans to see Hunger Games at some point this week, so look for my thoughts on that.

+ Still plugging away at the novel. I’ll have 50,000 words by the end of the week. I’m very proud of myself!

+ Still haven't written any fic. I have like 500 words of my mpreg fic, but that is all I have accomplished in forever. I SUCK AT LIFE.

+ Blahblahblah. But if anything's going on with you, feel free to tell me about it! I'd love to hear!

Y'all, help me decide if I can actually commit to seasonal_spuffy this round. Because last round I ended up posting nothing for the first time ever, and I am worried I will do that again this round.

Keep in mind that:

+ I haven't started my rarewomen entry

+ I haven't started my Het Mpreg entry, either (when is that due again?)

+ I haven't written anything fic-wise since January, and that was just comment fic for the Bechdel Ficathon. Before that the last thing (of length) I wrote was for Yuletide.

+ My mind is pretty much in my novel-place.

Uuuuugh, I don't know. Like, I love SS. I think it's helping so much to keep our fandom alive and such. And I want to participate! But I just don't know!

That said, leave some things you'd like to see in Buffy/Spike fic in the comments. Maybe something will take over my brain?

i fail at life so hard.

i just went over here:


(click on the picture)

and left a bunch of prompts, and every single one of them was a faulkner quote. whyyyyyy?

It's not my gallbladder! It's also not hepatitis, which they thought it could be for a bit. But I spent all day in the E.R. yesterday and had lots of fun experiences with needles and IVs and such. They still don't know what originally made me sick, but they think the reason I've been SO sick for SO long is that I had a really, really bad reaction to the antibiotics I was on? And that my liver is FREAKING OUT, but they don't know why?

So we don't really know, but hopefully I'll start getting better now that I'm not on that medicine? I just MISS FOOD. The last time I ate anything at all was Friday, and that was just an orange and some crackers. The last time I had an actual meal was Tuesday night. So I am just SO READY for my stomach to stop trying to expel itself from my body.

ANYWAY, just wanted to say thanks for the well-wishes. I now intend to catch up on TV (Ringer, which might suck but HELLO MY QUEEN! the Emmys, which always make me angry! Doctor Who, which always makes me conflicted! DOWNTON ABBEY WHICH ALWAYS MAKES ME FLAIL WITH JOY!) and dream of the day when I'll be able to eat actual food again instead of living on Gatorade and Popsicle.

Just popping my head in to say that I have been sick, which is why I'm failing so hard at the Lady Celebration thing. Needless to say that I missed a few days and may miss a few more. We're not quite sure what I've got going on, but my doctor thinks right now that it might be a gallbladder infection, so I had some tests and such today. Hopefully I'll know by tomorrow. I'm on some antibiotics, so I'm hoping against hope that they'll take care of the issue because worst case scenario is that I'll have to have it removed and I am PETRIFIED at the idea of surgery, which I have never had before and there would also be the missing of more days of work and my parents would have to skip their anniversary trip and stay in town to take care of me since my sister's in Costa Rica, which would suck (and actually, my doctor didn't even mention the possibility of surgery at all and probably for good reason, because THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR GOOGLING MY TENTATIVE DIAGNOSIS. I wish I could stop doing that. I always jump to the worst conclusions).

Anyway! I'm feeling a bit better today and if I feel even better tomorrow, I'll go back to work, which will be a good thing. Just wanted to keep y'all updated.

In super exciting news, my BFF who's watching BtVS for the first time is TOTALLY A SPUFFY SHIPPER OMG SHE HAS THE RIGHT OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING.