y'all y'all y'all what is my life?????

[lirazel]

I'm actually writing the Myungsoo/Hongbin cowboy AU. And it has somehow exploded in my mind to become this huge 'verse and it's the most ridiculous thing ever and I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS.

The setup I’m thinking is: Sunggyu either inherited or bought a ranch, though he knows nothing about ranching (so Woohyun ends up doing most of the actual decision-making), and he and his kid brother Sungjong live in the big house. All the other members of Infinite and VIXX are the ranch hands, and Hakyeon is the ranch foreman. Sungjong and Hoya are clearly in love but haven’t actually gotten around to acting on that yet. Taekwoon is a horse whisperer (and Myungsoo is the other wrangler) and pretty much married to Hakyeon.

The next ranch over is owned by badass lady owner Gummi, who knows everything about running a ranch (and who really wants to have lots of babies and raise them to take over her operation), and her ranch a foreman is Ellin, while the twins and Soyul and the K-Much guys are the other cowhands. Sungyeol is obviously obsessed with Ellin but pretends she’s annoying even though she’s the one who can’t get him to go away. Sunggyu is pretty head-over-heels for Gummi, but it’s unclear whether she’ll ever give him the time of day, though she does thoroughly enjoy laughing at his complete lack of knowledge about absolutely anything to do with ranching. Cowboy Loki is definitely in love with her, too. Probably at some point, Soyul will turn Myungsoo and Hongbin into her boy toys.

Also, somewhere, the 9 Muses own and run their own ranch, and Ken cries and pops an unfortunate boner whenever he sees Kyungri the rodeo queen riding by on her horse. Hyuk has a ~thing for one of the others (Sera? Sungah? Both? Sam and Erin and Hyuna and Eunji are obviously married). Sweet farmer Shinwoo is courting Hyemi. Sungjong and Hoya are definitely both in love with Minha. And Dongwoo is dating tavern-owner Ailee, who owns half the town and never, ever has trouble in her establishment because she's faster on the trigger than anyone else in the West. Narsha is a brothel madam and makes Sunggyu cry on the regular whenever he goes to visit her, but he can't stay away. JeA is the crazy sheriff who forgets she's the sheriff and Gain is the schoolmarm who has a ~thing for Miryo, the deputy who really is the one who keeps the peace. Maybe Key is Narsha's second-in-command who doesn't take clients himself now, except for Woohyun.

This could potentially keep going forever. I HAVE TO STOP.

*goes back to writing ridiculous fic*

Comments

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

Gain is the schoolmarm who has a ~thing for Miryo, the deputy who really is the one who keeps the peace
I think I actually WAILED. like OUT. LOUD.




(also you should know that the 14yrold I'm staying with just found 1D fanfiction and her wails and tears and giggles ringing through the house the past few days made me nostalgic, so I'm re-reading Shoot to Kill)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

GAIN IN A SKIRT DOWN TO HER HIGH-TOP BOOTS SIGHING OVER MIRYO IN HER BAGGY DEPUTY SHIRT AND TIGHT PANTS. KILL BILL INDEED.

(Awww!! I'm so happy she's found fandom and so happy you want to reread my fic!)

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

I WILL NEVER BE READY FOR THIS. MIRYO AWKWARDLY COMING IN TO CHECK ON GAIN DURING LUNCH HOUR AND GAIN ALWAYS HAVING A BAKED GOOD FOR THEIR DEAR DEPUTY WHO CARES SO MUCH ABOUT THE CHILDREN. DURING WINTER MIRYO WALKS GAIN HOME AFTER SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND CARRIES HER BOOKS.

NOPE.

I HATE YOU.

(I've never been so blessedly happy about anything in my life. I worry that the fic/space she's in isn't very female-friendly because she keeps getting upset at the female OC, but we can hope for the best right? [no, she won't tell me who wrote it and I am not willing to dig through all the 1D college-au Liam/OFC fics on the internet to find it] it's been a hard week and STK has helped. bless that fic. and the ridiculous amounts of gyugyu feels it brings back)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

CARRIES HER BOOKS OMG STOP.

(Hopefully it's a phase and she'll move into a better mindset. I am so happy that STK can help in any way at all. I have been having a lot of Gyu feelings myself lately!)

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE SHE CARRIES HER BOOKS. MIRYO IN LOVE.



(She follows the whims of her friends, so only time will tell. I love evil taskmaster STK Gyu so hard.)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

(WHY DO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH??? HE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE!)

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

(WHY WOULD I FALL IN LOVE WITH THE STK VERSION OF GYU? HE'S THE ABSOLUTE WORST? NOT EVEN SQUISHY AT ALL!)


We need a fucking support group.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

We really do. I keep watching the 'What You Want' video and wanting to die of sexual frustration. I HATE ARROGANT SWAGGER FROM GUYS SO WHY IS IT SO HOT WHEN GYU DOES IT?

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

I DON'T KNOW! BUT IT IS!

It's like... mostly arrogant swaggers from most men irritate me because it feels so ... false and forced? something about knowing that gyu is actually the squishiest marshmallow hamster grandpa makes his strutting endearing and sexy and not cringe-worthy?

also the fact that I love his love for being a rockstar. you can see him lose himself in the fact that he's singing and then the swagger sexy just comes out.

OR HE HAS TRICKED US ALL WITH DRUGS IN THE WATER WHICH IS 100% MORE LIKELY.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I SWEAR HE'S SOME SORT OF DEMON WHO GIVES OFF PHEROMONES OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THERE IS NO EXPLANATION FOR ME WANTING HIM THIS MUCH WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE.

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

ACTUAL DEMON KIM SUNGGYU.

I'd buy it. He's seriously not even attractive a little. the bastard. (please can I marry him?)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I dream about him more than all of the others combined. I don't know what that means, but I don't appreciate it!

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

I had a dream the other night that I was renting a house with the members. But I think it was Hoya and I together most of the time.

Most of my Infinite dreams give Hoya a starring role.

#my secret bias

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

He's a good one to star in your dreams. (Honestly, all of them are.)

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

(I daily thank the goddess that jaejoong hasn't showed up in any dreams because I swear the day that happens I'm killing joanne and sending ranya the ashes.)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

You and Jamie should kill her together. You deserve your revenge.

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

If it ever comes to that, I trust that she will understand.

And that Ranya already has a contingency plan.

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

Y'all know there is no evil in this world that wouldn't resurrect her

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

That is all too true.

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

I usually set Joanne loose on you bc I am too tired to be terrible, but if Joanne goes there won't be a buffer and you'll have to face my wrath and horribleness for robbing me of my evil playmate.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Terrifying.

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

See?

[une-jonquille.livejournal.com]

KYUNGRI THE RODEO QUEEN.

Sungjong and Hoya are definitely both in love with Minha.

NO WAIT. 4Minute owns the local general store as a sort of collective (so Sohyun, who's in charge of inventory, and Ailee are in showdowns of grudging respect all. the. time) and Gayoon and Hyuna are married, so Gayoon and Sungjong, while not actually banging, bond over their respective spouses' need to have all the sex with each other

also Sungyeol gets supplies there and Jihyun alternates between mocking him and giving him advice on how to deal with this Ellin person, and then one day Ellin herself comes in and Jihyun's all, "Oh, I know who you are," and there results much competitive flirting until they agree that they can easily share Sungyeol and his ridiculous libido

also, if Key must be a hooker -- I don't know why Key-the-hooker happens in so many fics -- than Minho must also be a hooker AND HE'S TERRIBLE AT IT AND NO ONE EVER HIRES HIM. So he's mostly Narsha's fan-holder and errand-boy. And then he becomes Gyu's happy sub.

And Channie is Shinwoo's loyal ranch hand until this traveling band of nine female quasi-bandits/quasi-explorers come by and kidnap/hire/adopt him

and Jinki is the local butcher whom everyone loves

and I am going back to my own ridiculous unwieldy AU now.

(yay Kelsey's sister)

(I reread StK like once a week what)

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

(not my sister technically) (my life is confusing and families adopts me it's so weird)

(bro. my heart couldn't take that. I'd implode from feelings.)

(DAMNIT. Someone scold me into writing noona-verse instead of re-reading STK!)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.

(I think Kibum's openness with his sexuality maybe is responsible for the hooker thing? I just love the idea of him working for Narsha. Maybe he helps look after the guys and girls--YES MINHO IS TERRIBLE AND NEVER HIRED--and doesn't actually see johns himself. Either way, he and Woohyun are definitely in love.)

HOYA/HYUNA! ELLIN/SUNGYEOL/JIHYUN! CHANNIE GETTING ADOPTED BY THE 9 MUSES!

And if Jinki is the butcher, Luna has to be his wife. Which means Amber needs to be the blacksmith and Sulli and Krystal are her wives. And Victoria...hmm...who's good enough for Victoria? Jinyoung is still unattached (Baro and Sandeul are obviously married) or maybe one of the Muses?

(I am so flattered.)

[une-jonquille.livejournal.com]

No, no, I'm cool with your use of the Muses, it's SNSD who adopts Channie, he sits in Sunny's lap while Taeyeon does the navigation and Seohyun negotiates prices with everyone along the way and Sooyoung cooks strange meals for everyone out of dried meat and the various vegetables they find along the way

(I have very little SNSD-meta, sorry)

(Tiffany and Victoria share What's-His-Name)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

OH YES GOOD. Tiffany and Victoria! What a lucky guy!

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

SORI FOR VICTORIA! (I cry alot bc Sori is awkward and it made the girls on IY uncomfrotable but her and Vic got real close bc Vic was bad at Korean and Sori would always keep her company and share a room with her and Vic would encourage Sori even if she made bad puns and call her pretty!)

Sorry I have alot of feelings for anyone appreciating Sori the way she deserves and in IY, Vic was basically one of few who gave her attention and kept her from getting cut out (which happened to ori 98.2% of the time)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

That makes me happy! That she and Victoria were good to each other, not that she didn't have screentime.

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

I...I don't know whether to cry or laugh.

Definitely laughing at your pain tho!

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME. I don't ask for them, they just happen!

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

Loki definitely does not mind whenever Gummi talks about her dreams of having a hoard of screaming babies, but he does mind when she lets him off early on fridays and and says stuff like "go out, drink! Boy like you probably has alot of girls to dance with" inside he goes "NO I ONLY WANNA ASK YOU TO DANCE! MARRY ME! LET ME GIVE YOU BABIES!"

Minha spends like 10min with hojong and realizes that they're both gaga for eachother adn when confronted they go "but no...we like you!" she kinda just shrugs and, yeah, this works just fine actually.

Sungyeol gets distracted by Ellin's ass so often he's ruined so many pants by slipping in horseshit is2g.

Miryo with a shotgun. *swoons*

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA GUMMI/LOKI FEELS. (I don't even know him! How can I ship him with her this hard?)

YES.

Howon is an ass and starts a fund for buying Sungyeol new pants.

MIRYO WITH A SHOTGUN. MIRYO IS THE LAW.

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

LITERALLY ALL I KNOW ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE'S ~~the visual~~ AND THAT HE LIKES FISHING!

Way find out and think it would be funny to steal the sheriff's handcuffs to hadcuff them together one time and when Ellin has to saddle, the motion of lifting her arm always makes his hand brush by her boob and he goes red in the face so her impression of him is "awfully constipated".

Can't wait til some dudebro is all "you little lady is gonna stop me?" and she shoots him in the foot.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

He's a good-looking kid, but I need to know more about him so I can write him and Gummi!

YES YES YES. The twins giving Ellin a hard time re: Sungyeol is the BEST.

She's know throughout the whole West as a badass, but people don't believe it when they see her pretty face. Until she lays them flat.

[indiesnopp.livejournal.com]

Ga In has a dagger under her skirt nobody knew she was good with

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

[arsenic-lies.livejournal.com]

you can probably hear my laughter from across the ocean

ALSO: YOU CAN KELSEY CAN B R I N G I T
IF MY OWN FAILING BODY, NATURAL CLUMBSINESS AND LIFE IN GENERAL CAN'T KEEP ME DOWN NEITHER WILL YOU

MY EVIL REIGN SHALL NEVER END

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I definitely can. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

This is probably true. I mean, you're probably not even human, so how could anyone kill you?

[namikaze-jkc.livejournal.com]

Bless this entire post ; u ;