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Annoyance of the day:
People who flat-out say that Buffy didn't love Spike despite the fact that she said she did.
She said she did. The only reason we have to believe that she didn't is one thing Spike said, and since when do people believe anything that comes out of Spike's mouth? Boy can speak the truth that no one else will, but he also says a ton of b.s., and everyone knows it.
I just hatehatehatehatehatehate all of these people sitting around telling a woman (and it would be a woman--if a man said, it I think a lot less people would disagree with her) who finds it nearly impossible to say the words "I love you" even to people she regards as family (remember "Intervention"? That's canon) that she doesn't love someone when she said she did.
I don't have a problem with people quibbling over the nature of her love. You can argue that she didn't love him romantically or as much as she did Angel or whatever (I would disagree with the first one and re: the second, I would remind you that, as![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_royal_anna says, we don't love in amounts. We love in ways). That's legit. But to say, flat-out, that she didn't love him even though she says she did takes agency away from Buffy in a way that I am entirely uncomfortable with and that DRIVES ME CRAZY, OKAY. If she had said she loved Riley (she didn't, did she?), I would be pissed at people saying she didn't love him, either. Uuuugh why does this annoy me so much?
She said she did. The only reason we have to believe that she didn't is one thing Spike said, and since when do people believe anything that comes out of Spike's mouth? Boy can speak the truth that no one else will, but he also says a ton of b.s., and everyone knows it.
I just hatehatehatehatehatehate all of these people sitting around telling a woman (and it would be a woman--if a man said, it I think a lot less people would disagree with her) who finds it nearly impossible to say the words "I love you" even to people she regards as family (remember "Intervention"? That's canon) that she doesn't love someone when she said she did.
I don't have a problem with people quibbling over the nature of her love. You can argue that she didn't love him romantically or as much as she did Angel or whatever (I would disagree with the first one and re: the second, I would remind you that, as
the_royal_anna says, we don't love in amounts. We love in ways). That's legit. But to say, flat-out, that she didn't love him even though she says she did takes agency away from Buffy in a way that I am entirely uncomfortable with and that DRIVES ME CRAZY, OKAY. If she had said she loved Riley (she didn't, did she?), I would be pissed at people saying she didn't love him, either. Uuuugh why does this annoy me so much?
no subject
And I don't think Buffy's emotional issues are the result of the Slayer. Not when it comes to opening up romantically. Nope. That shit's on Angel's shoulders when he lost his soul and the following months of trauma.
Yep. And I'll go even further and say it's also her father's fault. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I think Buffy had a somewhat hard time opening up to Angel at the very beginning (he had to ask whether she loved him in order to pull the first "I love you" out of her), and that was probably a result of her fear of rejection by men (as we see in Nightmares, Hank rejecting her love is one of her greatest fears). That fear then becomes manifest because of Angel, making that mark completely indelible. She's not going to be able to just wipe away that kind of trauma--her greatest fear coming true.
But that doesn't mean she can't love romantically. For me, that argument doesn't quite make sense. Because where does it stop. If we don't believe that Buffy can't love, why do we believe that Dawn can or Willow can or Cordelia can? Or--hey! If it's because she's the slayer--why can vampires love? Why can Angel and Spike love without people questioning their sincerity? I find it troubling.
Being the slayer doesn't change Buffy's ability to feel love. It (maybe) alters the way she expresses love (and maybe not--some people just naturally express love through action, and I don't know that we have any real reason to suspect that Buffy isn't one of them before she gets called).
And in conclusion, Buffy = ♥
(I might write more later, but now I have to get out of this godforsaken office.)
no subject
I always thought it had a lot to do with her father - that fear we see in "Nightmares" persists throughout her life, and she always feels that people end up leaving her and that it's all her fault because there is something wrong with her. And that nightmare seems to coming true all the time - with Angel, and Riley, and Giles, and finally even Spike.
I feel that it's so wrong to deny someone's ability to love, just because they have a different way of expressing love.
Maybe I feel so much for Buffy because, unlike most 'hero' characters, she is very misunderstood.
no subject
Once again you are in my brain.
I really don't care to hold any one relationship/pairing up as the 'ideal way to love' or whatever. Everybody works differently. And there are some people who straight up have a harder time accepting and expressing love than others. That's really it.