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bleck
you know what i really hate?
i've recently bought a bunch of new dresses because i desperately needed summer clothes. and they are all super cute and i love them. except that all of them will show my brastraps unless i wear a strapless bra with them.
and strapless bras are REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. they start out fine but after about two hours they just hurt.
and part of me just wishes i didn't have to wear a bra with them at all. but most of the dresses wouldn't 'fit' right if i didn't or people would be able to tell i'm not wearing one and that is a big no-no.
but the thing is...i do not need to wear bras. some women need them because they make them more comfortable because support and i am glad they can get that support if they need it. but i am very small-breasted and literally the only reason i need to wear bras is because a) societal expectations and b) clothes don't fit right if i don't.
it's all just very frustrating to me, having to wear them. and they're expensive. and even if i wear ones with straps that are much more comfortable, the straps don't stay on my shoulders because i have MICROSCOPIC shoulders so they're always sliding down, which is especially annoying when i'm wearing long sleeves and i can FEEL them sliding down my arms. first thing i do when i get home after taking off my shoes is take of my bra.
i just resent that this is a part of beauty culture that i can't opt out of. i am all for women embracing any part of beauty culture they want and rejecting any part they don't want. i reject a lot of it. i only shave my legs when i feel like it. i don't wear make up 85% of the time (and even when i do it's lipstick and maaaaybe some mascara on special occasions). i refuse to wear heels. i'm fortunate enough that my hair doesn't require much upkeep beyond keeping it washed and cut. i am quite feminine and like to wear dresses and big earrings, but the vast majority of the way i perform that femininity does not require any pain or much effort on my part. buying clothes is always a battle and i hate it, but it's a once-every-bunch-of-months thing, not a day-to-day thing.
BUT THEN THERE ARE BRAS. AND I JUST REALLY HATE THEM. and yet it's completely socially unacceptable for me to not wear them, but it's also completely socially unacceptable for my brastraps to be showing (it's on the dress code for my job--'no visible undergarments' which i get when it comes to, like, no one wanting to see your thong, but my life would be so much easier if i could wear things with my brastraps showing because bras with straps, while still terribly annoying, are much more comfortable than strapless ones).
and i've bought a bandeau bra and i love the way it feels BUT a) i can tell i'm going to have to get new ones regularly because it gets stretched out pretty quickly which sucks and b) i have totally bought into the whole 'your clothes don't look right if you don't have a real bra on' thing and i can't get out of that mindset. like i put on the bandeau bra underneath my dresses and they LOOK WRONG. the bandeau protects me from nipples showing (which i think is all a bra should really be required to do), but that's all it does. it doesn't shape my boobs so they look the way they 'should' in my clothes. and i care about that! even if i don't want to! i feel self-conscious when i wear it with most things because i can tell it looks like i don't have a bra on.
UGH THE WHOLE THING IS SO FRUSTRATING I REALLY HATE BRAS. and i perpetually resent how much easier the world makes it for men to present themselves.
this has been a whiny post of whininess.
i've recently bought a bunch of new dresses because i desperately needed summer clothes. and they are all super cute and i love them. except that all of them will show my brastraps unless i wear a strapless bra with them.
and strapless bras are REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. they start out fine but after about two hours they just hurt.
and part of me just wishes i didn't have to wear a bra with them at all. but most of the dresses wouldn't 'fit' right if i didn't or people would be able to tell i'm not wearing one and that is a big no-no.
but the thing is...i do not need to wear bras. some women need them because they make them more comfortable because support and i am glad they can get that support if they need it. but i am very small-breasted and literally the only reason i need to wear bras is because a) societal expectations and b) clothes don't fit right if i don't.
it's all just very frustrating to me, having to wear them. and they're expensive. and even if i wear ones with straps that are much more comfortable, the straps don't stay on my shoulders because i have MICROSCOPIC shoulders so they're always sliding down, which is especially annoying when i'm wearing long sleeves and i can FEEL them sliding down my arms. first thing i do when i get home after taking off my shoes is take of my bra.
i just resent that this is a part of beauty culture that i can't opt out of. i am all for women embracing any part of beauty culture they want and rejecting any part they don't want. i reject a lot of it. i only shave my legs when i feel like it. i don't wear make up 85% of the time (and even when i do it's lipstick and maaaaybe some mascara on special occasions). i refuse to wear heels. i'm fortunate enough that my hair doesn't require much upkeep beyond keeping it washed and cut. i am quite feminine and like to wear dresses and big earrings, but the vast majority of the way i perform that femininity does not require any pain or much effort on my part. buying clothes is always a battle and i hate it, but it's a once-every-bunch-of-months thing, not a day-to-day thing.
BUT THEN THERE ARE BRAS. AND I JUST REALLY HATE THEM. and yet it's completely socially unacceptable for me to not wear them, but it's also completely socially unacceptable for my brastraps to be showing (it's on the dress code for my job--'no visible undergarments' which i get when it comes to, like, no one wanting to see your thong, but my life would be so much easier if i could wear things with my brastraps showing because bras with straps, while still terribly annoying, are much more comfortable than strapless ones).
and i've bought a bandeau bra and i love the way it feels BUT a) i can tell i'm going to have to get new ones regularly because it gets stretched out pretty quickly which sucks and b) i have totally bought into the whole 'your clothes don't look right if you don't have a real bra on' thing and i can't get out of that mindset. like i put on the bandeau bra underneath my dresses and they LOOK WRONG. the bandeau protects me from nipples showing (which i think is all a bra should really be required to do), but that's all it does. it doesn't shape my boobs so they look the way they 'should' in my clothes. and i care about that! even if i don't want to! i feel self-conscious when i wear it with most things because i can tell it looks like i don't have a bra on.
UGH THE WHOLE THING IS SO FRUSTRATING I REALLY HATE BRAS. and i perpetually resent how much easier the world makes it for men to present themselves.
this has been a whiny post of whininess.
no subject
no subject
Yes, maybe. Idk much about the States but you're from the... South, right? Idk, I must admit that, idk what's the image people have of my country in other places, but I wouldn't call it conservative. We've got a monarchy and a bunch of conservative people (most of them, quite extreme right wing assholes that still think gay marriage should be eliminated even though it's been EIGHT YEARS AND EVERYONE JUST SHRUGS AT IT, HELL, BECAUSE NOBODY CARES ANYMORE) but in general I think we've become pretty the-opposite-of-conservative (word I cannot remember now). Totally OT, but because we started our modernization years later than most of Europe because of the dictatorship, we started doing it at a faster pace and in some aspects that trend has remained.
(Totally, totally OT lmfao I know. Sorry!)
no subject
Liberal! That's the word! Or progressive. :D
No, that's cool, I like hearing about other countries a LOT. I don't think most USAmericans think much about Spain (other than right now we know you're having a lot of economic problems and high unemployment) and most of our stereotypes are like, bull running and flamenco dancing and stuff that's got nothing to do with what Spain is like right now. We tend to be woefully ignorant about other countries. It's really sad.
no subject
Oh, right! Thanks xD
(Well, that is true. And damn, idt we're getting out of this before I turn 30yo at least tbh). Yeah, I know. Like, Europeans think the same about us, even though flamenco is actually mostly a thing from the South (and that's it) and bull fighting is even forbidden in some places right now (my region of origin, Cataluña). But I think it happens everywhere, lol. Even with the States, which is a place that we're constantly exposed to around the world, there are very heavy stereotypes that remain over the fact that it's SUCH A BIG PLACE with very different things. Sad indeed :(