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bleck
you know what i really hate?
i've recently bought a bunch of new dresses because i desperately needed summer clothes. and they are all super cute and i love them. except that all of them will show my brastraps unless i wear a strapless bra with them.
and strapless bras are REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. they start out fine but after about two hours they just hurt.
and part of me just wishes i didn't have to wear a bra with them at all. but most of the dresses wouldn't 'fit' right if i didn't or people would be able to tell i'm not wearing one and that is a big no-no.
but the thing is...i do not need to wear bras. some women need them because they make them more comfortable because support and i am glad they can get that support if they need it. but i am very small-breasted and literally the only reason i need to wear bras is because a) societal expectations and b) clothes don't fit right if i don't.
it's all just very frustrating to me, having to wear them. and they're expensive. and even if i wear ones with straps that are much more comfortable, the straps don't stay on my shoulders because i have MICROSCOPIC shoulders so they're always sliding down, which is especially annoying when i'm wearing long sleeves and i can FEEL them sliding down my arms. first thing i do when i get home after taking off my shoes is take of my bra.
i just resent that this is a part of beauty culture that i can't opt out of. i am all for women embracing any part of beauty culture they want and rejecting any part they don't want. i reject a lot of it. i only shave my legs when i feel like it. i don't wear make up 85% of the time (and even when i do it's lipstick and maaaaybe some mascara on special occasions). i refuse to wear heels. i'm fortunate enough that my hair doesn't require much upkeep beyond keeping it washed and cut. i am quite feminine and like to wear dresses and big earrings, but the vast majority of the way i perform that femininity does not require any pain or much effort on my part. buying clothes is always a battle and i hate it, but it's a once-every-bunch-of-months thing, not a day-to-day thing.
BUT THEN THERE ARE BRAS. AND I JUST REALLY HATE THEM. and yet it's completely socially unacceptable for me to not wear them, but it's also completely socially unacceptable for my brastraps to be showing (it's on the dress code for my job--'no visible undergarments' which i get when it comes to, like, no one wanting to see your thong, but my life would be so much easier if i could wear things with my brastraps showing because bras with straps, while still terribly annoying, are much more comfortable than strapless ones).
and i've bought a bandeau bra and i love the way it feels BUT a) i can tell i'm going to have to get new ones regularly because it gets stretched out pretty quickly which sucks and b) i have totally bought into the whole 'your clothes don't look right if you don't have a real bra on' thing and i can't get out of that mindset. like i put on the bandeau bra underneath my dresses and they LOOK WRONG. the bandeau protects me from nipples showing (which i think is all a bra should really be required to do), but that's all it does. it doesn't shape my boobs so they look the way they 'should' in my clothes. and i care about that! even if i don't want to! i feel self-conscious when i wear it with most things because i can tell it looks like i don't have a bra on.
UGH THE WHOLE THING IS SO FRUSTRATING I REALLY HATE BRAS. and i perpetually resent how much easier the world makes it for men to present themselves.
this has been a whiny post of whininess.
i've recently bought a bunch of new dresses because i desperately needed summer clothes. and they are all super cute and i love them. except that all of them will show my brastraps unless i wear a strapless bra with them.
and strapless bras are REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. they start out fine but after about two hours they just hurt.
and part of me just wishes i didn't have to wear a bra with them at all. but most of the dresses wouldn't 'fit' right if i didn't or people would be able to tell i'm not wearing one and that is a big no-no.
but the thing is...i do not need to wear bras. some women need them because they make them more comfortable because support and i am glad they can get that support if they need it. but i am very small-breasted and literally the only reason i need to wear bras is because a) societal expectations and b) clothes don't fit right if i don't.
it's all just very frustrating to me, having to wear them. and they're expensive. and even if i wear ones with straps that are much more comfortable, the straps don't stay on my shoulders because i have MICROSCOPIC shoulders so they're always sliding down, which is especially annoying when i'm wearing long sleeves and i can FEEL them sliding down my arms. first thing i do when i get home after taking off my shoes is take of my bra.
i just resent that this is a part of beauty culture that i can't opt out of. i am all for women embracing any part of beauty culture they want and rejecting any part they don't want. i reject a lot of it. i only shave my legs when i feel like it. i don't wear make up 85% of the time (and even when i do it's lipstick and maaaaybe some mascara on special occasions). i refuse to wear heels. i'm fortunate enough that my hair doesn't require much upkeep beyond keeping it washed and cut. i am quite feminine and like to wear dresses and big earrings, but the vast majority of the way i perform that femininity does not require any pain or much effort on my part. buying clothes is always a battle and i hate it, but it's a once-every-bunch-of-months thing, not a day-to-day thing.
BUT THEN THERE ARE BRAS. AND I JUST REALLY HATE THEM. and yet it's completely socially unacceptable for me to not wear them, but it's also completely socially unacceptable for my brastraps to be showing (it's on the dress code for my job--'no visible undergarments' which i get when it comes to, like, no one wanting to see your thong, but my life would be so much easier if i could wear things with my brastraps showing because bras with straps, while still terribly annoying, are much more comfortable than strapless ones).
and i've bought a bandeau bra and i love the way it feels BUT a) i can tell i'm going to have to get new ones regularly because it gets stretched out pretty quickly which sucks and b) i have totally bought into the whole 'your clothes don't look right if you don't have a real bra on' thing and i can't get out of that mindset. like i put on the bandeau bra underneath my dresses and they LOOK WRONG. the bandeau protects me from nipples showing (which i think is all a bra should really be required to do), but that's all it does. it doesn't shape my boobs so they look the way they 'should' in my clothes. and i care about that! even if i don't want to! i feel self-conscious when i wear it with most things because i can tell it looks like i don't have a bra on.
UGH THE WHOLE THING IS SO FRUSTRATING I REALLY HATE BRAS. and i perpetually resent how much easier the world makes it for men to present themselves.
this has been a whiny post of whininess.
no subject
The "guépière" thing also looks like a great solution, but literally the only ones of those I've ever seen are for-sex lingerie? Like, the kind you put on specifically if you're getting for sex and so it will be taken off pretty soon. Not anything to wear around all day underneath your clothes. (Actually, they do have the ones to wear around all day underneath your clothes but they're to make you look skinnier and I don't want anything as tight as that.) But maybe I've looked in the wrong places? I can at least look into finding something like that that's really comfortable. Thank you, hon!
(Bustier is the word we use! Toldja we stole everything from the French!)
no subject
Hahahaha, well to be completely fair, I wear for-sex lingerie 24/7, so I'm not one to be talking. But, for what it's worth, I find the guépière to be relatively comfortable to wear around all day. It won't make you any bendier, but if your physical activity remains limited then I wouldn't worry too much. It's not a sports bra, that's for sure, but it's not a corset either. And it doesn't have to be lacy or otherwise fancy-uncomfortable-material. I've seen very simple white/beige/black ones that are specifically sold as underwear for cocktail dresses. I have no idea where you could find this in the US. I'm pretty sure stores for marriage fashion should have some variations of those (but idk if there are any affordable marriage shops where you live). I have no idea how to internet search for this, without landing on French sites, but you might have more success that I did ;) I'd be good if you could try one on first though - to see if you are comfortable enough.
Teehee. Good to know ;)