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i guess i'm one of the old ladies of fandom now?
Y'all, one of my readers I've been talking to on aff is twelve years old. How did I find this out? She mentioned she wished she could write as well as I do (aww!) and I told her to just keep writing--I've been writing almost every day for over twelve years now, and after that time you do get better. And she said, "Would you believe that's how long I've been alive?" And I was like
When I told her I was 25, she was like, "Wow, most k-stans aren't that. Uh. Age." TELLING ME I'M ANCIENT. I was so amused, I had to mention that I come from a fandom where I have friends who are grandmas and they're lovely.
But I feel kind of guilty that this twelve-year-old is out there ready my Infinite porn. I have to remind myself that most of my fandom friends started reading smutty stuff that young--I didn't, actually, because I was just in one fandom for so long and that fandom was centered around a series of message boards where you really couldn't post anything higher than PG-13 (and I was really innocent in real life, too). So I was seventeen or so when I stumbled upon the smutty side of fandom. But y'all are all fine! And I feel like it's better that she's reading stuff that was written for her gaze than it would be her watching mainstream porn that tells her she's just an object.
Still, I'm currently feeling very maternal, wanting to pat her on the head and tell her to stick to the PG-rated stuff. Not that I will. But it feels different knowing there are twelve-year-olds reading my smut!
Speaking of which, the other day lil sis and I had the "if I die, make sure to burn my laptop before our parents can see it" conversation. And she was like, "What do you have on there?" And I said, "Just stuff I'm not comfortable with them seeing." And she said, "You don't write porn, do you? Please tell me you don't write porn. Please."
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW COOL I PLAYED THAT. I was like, "Does that sound like me?" with a perfectly straight face.
And she thought about it and said, "No, it really doesn't," and wandered off quite happy. SO I DIDN'T LIE. But I wasn't going to say yes when I knew she'd be completely horrified by it.
And to think: six months ago, I could have said, "No, I don't" and meant it. And now I'm completely corrupted. I blame this guy:
And now I need to go write for NaNo. It's only three days in, but I've only written 1,000 words because I've been too busy writing lots of thousands of words of Infinite fic. I've been telling myself I'll actually buckles down and write when I get ONE MORE COMMENT on my last chapter, but it's been a while and that hasn't happened yet, so I need to just actually do it.
When I told her I was 25, she was like, "Wow, most k-stans aren't that. Uh. Age." TELLING ME I'M ANCIENT. I was so amused, I had to mention that I come from a fandom where I have friends who are grandmas and they're lovely.
But I feel kind of guilty that this twelve-year-old is out there ready my Infinite porn. I have to remind myself that most of my fandom friends started reading smutty stuff that young--I didn't, actually, because I was just in one fandom for so long and that fandom was centered around a series of message boards where you really couldn't post anything higher than PG-13 (and I was really innocent in real life, too). So I was seventeen or so when I stumbled upon the smutty side of fandom. But y'all are all fine! And I feel like it's better that she's reading stuff that was written for her gaze than it would be her watching mainstream porn that tells her she's just an object.
Still, I'm currently feeling very maternal, wanting to pat her on the head and tell her to stick to the PG-rated stuff. Not that I will. But it feels different knowing there are twelve-year-olds reading my smut!
Speaking of which, the other day lil sis and I had the "if I die, make sure to burn my laptop before our parents can see it" conversation. And she was like, "What do you have on there?" And I said, "Just stuff I'm not comfortable with them seeing." And she said, "You don't write porn, do you? Please tell me you don't write porn. Please."
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW COOL I PLAYED THAT. I was like, "Does that sound like me?" with a perfectly straight face.
And she thought about it and said, "No, it really doesn't," and wandered off quite happy. SO I DIDN'T LIE. But I wasn't going to say yes when I knew she'd be completely horrified by it.
And to think: six months ago, I could have said, "No, I don't" and meant it. And now I'm completely corrupted. I blame this guy:
And now I need to go write for NaNo. It's only three days in, but I've only written 1,000 words because I've been too busy writing lots of thousands of words of Infinite fic. I've been telling myself I'll actually buckles down and write when I get ONE MORE COMMENT on my last chapter, but it's been a while and that hasn't happened yet, so I need to just actually do it.
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YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HOW COOL I PLAYED THAT. I was like, "Does that sound like me?" with a perfectly straight face.
And she thought about it and said, "No, it really doesn't," and wandered off quite happy.
I'm trying to imagine my family reading my fic... and my imagination fails me. I'm pretty sure many people who know me irl think I'm frigid XD.
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and my imagination fails me. I'm pretty sure many people who know me irl think I'm frigid XD.
Haha, me, too! Except with me it's frigid plus innocent. If they only knew....
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Oh, by all means! I do that all the time tbh.
I hope your novel is going okay :D.
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I got almost 6k written this weekend, which isn't as much as I'd have liked, but it's enough that I'm not freaking out anymore! Thanks for the well-wishes!
And just fyi--I'm really looking forward to getting to read your big bang once NaNo is over and I have more time!
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Awww, thank you! I hope you enjoy the bigbang :).
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I just recently turned 30 and most K-Pop Fans in my country are Teenagers or in their early 20's so I often feel like a grandma. Especially when one of my friends says "Oh my God I am so old!!! I'm turning 20 this year!" I always give her the look after she mentions that and gladly she understands it now :) I mean I am 10 years older than her.... when she's old what am I? A fossil?
I started reading the "hard" stuff around the age of 16 or 17 so it's been the same for me as for you. Before that I never even dreamt of trying to read something rated higher than PG :)
And well Dongwoo is really good at convincing you to write Porn^^
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Dongwoo is porn!
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Oh man, I know how you feel. I've written a handful of fic for Victorious, which is a children's show, and while I don't think there is anything particularly graphic, there are definitely mentions of sex, and some allusions to vaguely kinky sex. It's stuff that I wouldn't bat an eye at if I wrote it for the Buffyverse, but I post it mostly on ff.net because that's where most of the fandom reads fic, and while a lot of the fandom is in their late teens, I know there are some babies out there and if I think about for too long it freaks me out. And then I have to remind myself that I was 13 the first time I stumbled onto smutty fanfic, and even though I blushed my through things that I would find extremely tame now, I handled it fine and was not actually scarred for life (what may have scarred me for life was the discovery that there were several pages of Hermione/Snape smut. At a time when Hermione was canonically 16, and Snape was canonically the double-crosser who killed Dumbledore and I was still reeling from the earlier discovery that shipping non-canon pairings was a thing you could do. I was young).
lil sis and I had the "if I die, make sure to burn my laptop before our parents can see it" conversation.
LOL. This is a conversation I have had with my roommate, who does not know I write fic, but does know that I have rather a lot of nc-17 spuffy fic bookmarked. And at one point over the summer, I discovered that my mom thought the reason I wanted nothing to do with 50 Shades of Gray was because it was "a little more intense" than anything I was used to reading. Oh Mom....
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I so understand!
(what may have scarred me for life was the discovery that there were several pages of Hermione/Snape smut. At a time when Hermione was canonically 16, and Snape was canonically the double-crosser who killed Dumbledore and I was still reeling from the earlier discovery that shipping non-canon pairings was a thing you could do. I was young
I can totally understand that scarring you!
I discovered that my mom thought the reason I wanted nothing to do with 50 Shades of Gray was because it was "a little more intense" than anything I was used to reading
Hahaha!
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Reminded me that right when I started getting into fanfic my sister (at 14) informed me that her FAVE HP fic was a novel-length "Hermione and Ron are trapped in the Malfoy dungeon for years and Hermione ends up in love with Lucias' child after he rapes her repeatedly and she becomes pregnant" .... yee gads! THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
I am still scarred from this and I never actually attempted to find/read this monster torture-porn.
Needless to say - babies in fandom don't surprise me at all.
And I understand being scarred by HP fandom.no subject
I don't think I saw anything that awful. I'm actually not sure if there was anything that awful on the site I was on. The first fanfiction I read was on a controlled HP site, and I want to say they had rules about dub/non-con, among some other things. It was after I read through all the Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, and James/Lily fic on that archive that I ventured out to other, less controlled sites, and discovered what HP fandom actually looked like.
and promptly backed the fuck up out of thereno subject
I mostly stick to my flist and what my flist recs most of thr time. Which means my range is narrow. But I know I'll be given pretties.
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I AM ALSO NOW A FANDOM GRANDMA AND I CAN'T QUITE HANDLE IT
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HAHA WE SHOULD FORM A SUPPORT GROUP. I've seriously never been in a fandom that skews this young, I hardly know what to do with myself!
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THE AGE RANGE OF FANDOM IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT IT. it can connect literally all age categories and it's beautiful. :') but it's funny how apparently when you're really young, you're baffled by the oldies~ in fandom, and as you get older, you get baffled by the youngsters. (i don't know what i'm getting at here, but.)
i get that instinct you have, even though i wasn't innocent~ at that age. i actually think i did (happily) read my first smut when i was 12 (and wrote a very bad pwp when i was 14 lawl), and i always, always try to remember my mindset of these early teen years so i don't get unintentionally condescending the older i get (which is tempting! for example i definitely was overly protective over my younger bro where i wouldn't blink twice if it were me). it wasn't something a regular person would deem child-appropriate because we fail to realize/acknowledge everyone has a different point of being ready for exploring this stuff, and when it's early, it makes adults uncomfortable but my own experience tells me it's real and it's okay. (and here i'm getting away from fic to sexuality in general oops, idk idk TOPICS THAT INTEREST ME also despite all of this i have never even kissed another human, what is my life. /this is getting away from me completely, sorryyyy)
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THE AGE RANGE OF FANDOM IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT IT. it can connect literally all age categories and it's beautiful. :') but it's funny how apparently when you're really young, you're baffled by the oldies~ in fandom, and as you get older, you get baffled by the youngsters. (
Agreed! I love that I have friends all over the spectrum.
because we fail to realize/acknowledge everyone has a different point of being ready for exploring this stuff, and when it's early, it makes adults uncomfortable
True! There are still things that I think are too much at a certain age, but I do think we need to be less BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? about some things!
despite all of this i have never even kissed another human, what is my life
You are me! I quite enjoy talking about sex and things like that, though I haven't kissed anyone either!
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i spazz so hard about infinite and i think my age helps me in the sense of not giving a fuck about what other people think. I I'll be a fangirl about everything til i'm 80, i guess. LMAO
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OLDPEOPLE UNITE!Oh yeah, being this age does have it's pros. I mean, if kpop were a thing when I was younger, I'd taken everything so seriously (especially because of all the crap that goes on in every fandom), that's why I'm glad I can see things from a more mature perspective and dont give a fuck about silly things.
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when i got into kpop i was already like 21 so it has been mostly fun for me to stay in the fandom, idk how kids can get so intense about everything these days. I spend most of my time poking fun at my favorites and it's all good lol
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That's a long time really, I've only known SHINee since last year and I started staning Big Bang and Infinite a few months ago. It's funny how kpop fandom drags you in though, I only wanted to like SHINee at first, but now it's like I know every group there is.
Do you have twitter?
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its basically me going on about how much sungyeol is perfect all day long, and random portuguese tweets lmao
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And I feel like it's better that she's reading stuff that was written for her gaze than it would be her watching mainstream porn that tells her she's just an object. I have so many epic feelz about this - most of them revolving around: WORD.
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I had NO CLUE that this was happening. That fandom/fanfic was even a thing.
I am so glad you discovered it!
Also... most of my RL friends know I write vampire porn
Haha!
Even though I've been exposed to some things I wish I hadn't through fandom, I do know that I know lots more positive things about sex than I ever would without it. I don't even want to imagine how sheltered I would be without fandom!
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I am so glad you discovered it!
I am DAILY glad that I found lj by accident and stumbled into fandom by chance and then actually stayed here. DAILY SOURCE OF GLAD.
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I've stopped watching TVD (...for now), but being in the fandom was super weird sometimes. All the 14 year olds idek. And so many people hadn't seen any BtVS at all, which felt weird in a teen series with vampires. So I was a little like. BABIES!! I'm worried about corrupting 16 year olds, let alone 12 year olds. ...Even though I was reading V.C. Andrews at 13.
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I know! I have to keep reminding myself I was that age once!
And so many people hadn't seen any BtVS at all, which felt weird in a teen series with vampires.
I cannot imagine. I feel like hey must be completely lacking in context!
I'm worried about corrupting 16 year olds, let alone 12 year olds. ...Even though I was reading V.C. Andrews at 13.
IKR??? I've never read V.C. Andrews, but I feel like everyone else did at about that age!
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You're not that old. Well to me at least.
Even though you're 10 years older than meI didn't think you were 25. Not that I actually thought of putting an age on you.12 years old? oh my gosh. I feel like patting her head and telling her to stick to PG.
But then again I'm only three years older.Reading the comments on this entry and seeing how many people there are around your age surprises me. Not in a bad way. I just really never thought about it.
I only got into this whole reading fan fiction last year. But at the start I didn't like read smut or yaoi at all. And then I just fell into smutty fan fiction hole and I can't get out.
Oh my gosh the conversation with your sister. XD
I remember being in the 7th grade, my friend Jana would always tell me about the yaoi she read and I was just like umm that's kinda weird but it's okay. But now I read it all the time.
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Three years isn't much once you get out of college, but when it's the difference between 12 and 15, it's quite a lot!
Most of my friends are from other, non-kpop fandoms, and most of those fandoms have older fans than kpop does.
I was in fandom for almost 10 years before I ever read yaoi! And now it's all I write!
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And it's sort of wrong that I'm all "OMG WHY" when I got into the Buffyverse and the Harry Potter fandom at 13 and started reading smutty stuff right away (partly cause I always clicked better with people older than me; I did a lot of things before most people my age, take reading porn, drink alcohol or even trying a cigarette
which luckily I hated!, so I would obviously do this soon enough too!). But idk, it does get weirder when you grow older.I lol'ed about the conversation with your sis. I get the feeling that my mom ~imagines that I read and have writen some sex so far. We've always been very open with this topic, and she knows me well enough to guess I wouldn't have a problem with it and would enjoy it. She's always told me she wants to read what I write "no matter what it contains", which tells me she sort of guesses a lot of what I write, lol.
Good luck with NaNo!
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I cannot wrap my mind around this. I'm like Sunggyu in Ranking King: THERE WERE PEOPLE BORN IN 1997?
They're especially young on tumblr. And I come from fandoms like BSG or Supernatural where I've mostly met people in their 20s and 30s, some even in their 40s! I was the maknae there D:
Yeah, I know! TUMBLR BABIES. And I'm from Buffy fandom, mostly, and there were loads of people older and only some younger. It's such a weird thing being in this weird new baby fandom!
That's really great about your mom!
Thank you so much! Good luck to you, too!
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The first "porn" I watched was a yaoi called something like photographic ... can't remember but I had stumbled upon it on Youtube. And I was really (strangely for me at the time) turned on by the idea of two boys doing it.
Then the first fanfic I read was a Sherlock Holmes one a friend posted on lj and that was a couple years ago now.
But here I am now, reading, watching, and writing porn. But maybe that'll change when I get a boyfriend again (if I ever do orz).
Anyway, a lot of useless stuff for you here. >___<;
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I have zero desire to ever watch porn, but I've gotten comfortable with reading/writing it, though I don't tend to like it just for the sexy stuff--I only want to read/write it if it's about character development.
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interacting with people younger and older than me really changed how i wrote and read, for the better. fandom is cool that way.
I was like, "Does that sound like me?" with a perfectly straight face.
the best non-answer. you con-woman, you.
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the best non-answer. you con-woman, you.
I was quite proud of myself!
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It was the girl who pointed out she was as old as the Harry Potter series that freaked me out, personally ;)
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It was the girl who pointed out she was as old as the Harry Potter series that freaked me out, personally ;)
THAT IS TERRIFYING.
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:)
Back in my day....I'll stop.
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But is fun times!!!! Im glad I can get away with being a bit childish (or a lot) because Im around younger people and they wont look at me like 'you are 25 years old you should behave like one' so... is liberating!!!
Oh! Oh! Im doing NaNoWriMo too!!! First time venturing into the craziness LOL Best of lucks!!!!!
P.S. Nano is probably why Im lurking through your LJ (ergo saw this post) because Im estimating the fics Im really on the look out to read (your new wooyeol) so I can schedule my visits to LJ and set enough time to write for nano & less to procrastinate.
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Good luck on your nano! I hope it goes well for you!
so I can schedule my visits to LJ and set enough time to write for nano & less to procrastinate.
That's really smart!
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i'm 23 so i'm up there with ya. when it comes to kpop, i just tell myself that it's okay because i'm just from the 1st generation era that carried over and i just have an open taste in music. but it sucks that everyone in infinite is younger than me.
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It's fun being interested in something so youthful and energetic!