just because i know this will be relevant to my flist's interests....

[lirazel]

Social Anxiety Is...
Not all of these apply to me, but quite a few do. The one that hit me the hardest?

Social anxiety is staying in your dorm room during meals instead of braving the dining hall.

My entire freshman year. I ate the bad to-go food so that I could eat it in my room during lunch so that I wouldn't have to go up to the cafeteria. I went to dinner with my roommate if she was around, but other than that, it was always the to-go stuff. And on the weekends I seriously didn't leave the dorm except to grab food. Gah. I just had horrible flashbacks.

Comments

[ghostrunner7.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. I've done that. I hate eating alone in public. Or at all, really.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

It makes you super self-concious, doesn't it? Ugh.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

OH HAI THIS IS ME

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

You get the most use out of that icon! :D

[angearia.livejournal.com]

INORITE IT'S SUPER USEFUL :D

How are you, bb? I just got home from travelling all day. Oi!

[ceciliaj.livejournal.com]

Social anxiety is traveling an hour into the city to a new bar with your significant other to see a World Cup soccer match and having a panic attack at the door because there are too many people there.

Flashbacks flashbacks flashbacks...*sigh*

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I had flashbacks reading the whole thing. *sigh*

[gwtwscarlett.livejournal.com]

"Social Anxiety is having to give yourself a pep talk when you walk into a salon for a haircut because the casual small talk with the hairdresser stresses you out beyond belief. And changing your hair salon even after a good cut because you get stressed and anxious that you probably said something stupid and they might remember you."

OMG, that is so me. Thank God I recently found a hair cutting place made for people like me. It employs 10-15 enthusiastic young people, only walk-ins instead of appointments, you get your hair done fast and without any chitty chatty bullshit.

I never envy a FB status though, cause that's usually just pretentious bullshit.

[deird1]

YES.

I finally have a hairdresser who talks to the other hairdressers and leaves me to my book. I love her.

[gwtwscarlett.livejournal.com]

Still looking forward to the day when technology will make it possible to get your hair done without attending a social event, lol.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

That sounds like an excellent place. Luckily for me, I actually knew my hairdresser before she started cutting my hair, so it isn't awkward for us to talk. But I can only imagine how hard it is if you don't. SCARY.

OMG YOUR VERY APPROPRIATE ICON!

[deird1]

Social anxiety is driving all the way to someone's house for a party, sitting motionless in your car for ten minutes, and then giving up and driving home.

:(

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

:( I've actually never done that, because usually by the time I get there, I convince myself that someone will see my truck pulling away and know I was there and left. But I can't tell you how many times I just haven't gone to social functions with people I really like. I stay home and cower instead.

[local-max.livejournal.com]

Disclosure: I live in a student house, but I'm not very, er, close with them. I haven't cooked all this year because I don't want to talk to housemates. I also avoid going out of the house to get food if they're milling around. Which means sometimes I have to wait until the middle of the night to eat, after they've gone to sleep. And I don't keep any food that needs to be refrigerated.

[green-maia.livejournal.com]

I haven't cooked all this year because I don't want to talk to housemates. I also avoid going out of the house to get food if they're milling around. Which means sometimes I have to wait until the middle of the night to eat, after they've gone to sleep. And I don't keep any food that needs to be refrigerated.

That was me when I lived with other people.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

That sounds rough. And would probably be me. With my last roommate, I basically stayed in my room unless she wasn't there. And that was just one person--I can't imagine with lots of them.

[frelling-tralk.livejournal.com]

When I was at uni I was pretty much eating in the middle of the night because I ended up feeling too nervous to use the kitchen when people were in there :/

It was awful because the other people on my floor were outside my room at one point banging on the door and speculating about whether or not someone actually lived in there (we didn't have roommates) because I was so fearful of leaving my room when there were people milling around outside

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's making me feel better to know that other people have these issues, too. It's not something that people talk about very much.

[next_to_normal]

Oh, I do that with the kitchen in work. Fortunately, my office is right by the kitchen, so I listen and lurk to make sure no one's in there before I get my lunch out of the fridge.

And the WORST is when I have a frozen meal to heat up, because what if someone comes in while my stuff is in the microwave and wants to talk to me?? (I actually go back to my office and leave the door open so I can hear the microwave beep when it's done.)

[mollivanders.livejournal.com]

I...was the person who wheedled people into going to the cafeteria with me because going alone made me feel friendless. Heh. With all those people hanging out at the ~tables. We still brought food back to the dorms though. Who doesn't think it's better to eat in your dorm while watching Love Actually?

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I only ever ate upstairs if there was someone to eat with that I didn't have to ask. So, 90% of the time, my roommate, because she took it forgranted that I would eat with her. But she went home every weekend and we had different lunches, so that was a bust.

TABLES. OF PEOPLE. TERROR.

Who doesn't think it's better to eat in your dorm while watching Love Actually?

Ha! It won't surprise you, I think, to hear that I started getting into television when I went away to college. LOTS OF TELEVISION.

[catbirdfish.livejournal.com]

The hairdresser thing. And the elevator thing.

Social anxiety is getting flustered at Shopper's and buying a box of Special K that you didn't even want instead of the chocolate you came to buy because you're afraid the cashier will judge you for your purchases. Or leaving Shopper's without everything on your list because you need to get out of there NOW.

Thanks for the link. It's nice to be reminded that I'm not crazy and alone in this.

[gwtwscarlett.livejournal.com]

"Social anxiety is getting flustered at Shopper's and buying a box of Special K that you didn't even want instead of the chocolate you came to buy because you're afraid the cashier will judge you for your purchases. "

Or buying alcohol and cigarettes only at nearby stores where they've known you for long, so you don't have to face the cashier possibly asking for your ID/making a comment about how you don't look anywhere near your age.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

It's nice to be reminded that I'm not crazy and alone in this.


I know. I would say that social anxiety is also telling yourself that you're the only one who feels this way and you're a giant freak and why is it so easy for everyone else? Knowing that it's not everyone else is a very good thing.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

Social anxiety is preferring for people to think you are cold rather than having them find you unlikable.

...

Yep.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I almost wish I could come across as cold. Instead I look like a tiny frightened woodland creature. I have just now started talking to one guy I've been working with for months, and apparently he thought that I was scared of him specifically because I never talked to him. I make people feel bad about themselves. *sigh*

It's weird how it manifests in different ways for different people, but so many of the feelings that underly the actions are the same.

[gwtwscarlett.livejournal.com]

"It's weird how it manifests in different ways for different people, but so many of the feelings that underly the actions are the same."

So much word. The avoidance of interaction and the fear of judgement seems to be the common ground here. I actually DO attend 'social' events, but they are of the most antisocial kinds of all- theater plays and political events, both of which include people sitting and staring instead of communicating with each other. And on the political events, I'm too shy and nervous to say anything, while I always have so many amazing ideas and unique opinions. I'm usually the only young person in the room, most of the others are in their 50s or 60s. I KNOW they would appreciate me if I actually said something, but I'm too nervous and feel like an outsider instead of becoming the unique young thing they would love. The next event is tomorrow night and I'm working on an amazing speech I wanna say right now. Pray for me to finally have enough courage, and the conversation to flow in a direction where it would have a great effect.

Sorry for trolling around in this entry so much. Just so much relatable stuff, and a girl has to socialize somewhere, you know?:)

[next_to_normal]

Oh man, so many of those resonate with me.

The dining hall thing, so much - although I actually got more antisocial as college went on. Freshman year I ate in the dining hall all the time; by senior year I never went there (that's also when I started watching Buffy!)

Even now, at work, I eat my lunch at my desk almost all the time, because I don't want to eat out alone.

My most recent trauma: when you're meeting people somewhere and you're the first one there, and then you have to stand around awkwardly by yourself. Ugh - especially at a bar, because who goes to a bar by themselves?

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Social anxiety is crawling out of a window to avoid walking past your roommate sitting in the living room. THIS WAS DURING MY EXTREMELY BAD DEPRESSION PHASE.

Or pretending you're not home when people come to check on you to make sure you're okay. You know how Troy told Abed to pretend they were asleep? DONE THAT.