Annoyance of the day:

[lirazel]

People who flat-out say that Buffy didn't love Spike despite the fact that she said she did.

She said she did. The only reason we have to believe that she didn't is one thing Spike said, and since when do people believe anything that comes out of Spike's mouth? Boy can speak the truth that no one else will, but he also says a ton of b.s., and everyone knows it.

I just hatehatehatehatehatehate all of these people sitting around telling a woman (and it would be a woman--if a man said, it I think a lot less people would disagree with her) who finds it nearly impossible to say the words "I love you" even to people she regards as family (remember "Intervention"? That's canon) that she doesn't love someone when she said she did.

I don't have a problem with people quibbling over the nature of her love. You can argue that she didn't love him romantically or as much as she did Angel or whatever (I would disagree with the first one and re: the second, I would remind you that, as the_royal_anna says, we don't love in amounts. We love in ways). That's legit. But to say, flat-out, that she didn't love him even though she says she did takes agency away from Buffy in a way that I am entirely uncomfortable with and that DRIVES ME CRAZY, OKAY. If she had said she loved Riley (she didn't, did she?), I would be pissed at people saying she didn't love him, either. Uuuugh why does this annoy me so much?

Comments

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Also, a thought occured to me:

I thin the reason I'm handwaving this distinction a bit is because the hardcore Bangels always act like they're doing us a big favor when they admit, "Oh, Buffy loved Spike. She just wasn't in love with him." And they they preen and smirk about how clearly inferior her feelings for him were to her feelings for Angel.

And obviously you don't feel that way. Obviously. But I think having experienced that roughly twelve million times, I've gotten to the point where I'm like, "It's the love that matters." Does that make sense?

[eleusis-walks.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that makes sense! I just don't think people being stupid devalues the distinction. Like, the distinction is still a true thing even if it's been used clumsily as a bludgeon in ship wars.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

True. I also, though, really resent our cultural obsession with falling in love and with sex how it's viewed as more legitimate than other kinds of love, etc. Hate that. A lot.

Aaaand I really do believe what I said about the cake stuff, too. :D