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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This day has been so full of fail. I cannot have a conversation online without someone failing horribly. Work has been more relaxing and soothing to my soul, and we all know how I feel about that.
Like this:
Having a conversation on whedonesque (duh), which is full of fail on other levels (like this gem: "I'm not sure to what extent critical gender theory is an ideal tool for analysing individual texts as opposed to identifying trends in the medium as a whole" embedded in a bunch of pseudo-intellectual stuff that basically boils down to, "You're wrong, and my privilege lets me say so"), and then the most faily thing ever is said:
Other person:
Me:
AND THEN.
Other person:
[eta]
AND THERE'S MORE!
[eta 2]
FOR FURTHER PROOF THAT THE UNIVERSE IS FAILING AND FAILING HARD TODAY, PLEASE TO BE LOOKING AT THIS POST.
But perhaps not if you value your sanity and your faith in humanity.
Please read that last link I linked to (once again, here) and report the hell out of this guy. I know the superpowers of my awesome feminist flist can shut this guy down.
Like this:
Having a conversation on whedonesque (duh), which is full of fail on other levels (like this gem: "I'm not sure to what extent critical gender theory is an ideal tool for analysing individual texts as opposed to identifying trends in the medium as a whole" embedded in a bunch of pseudo-intellectual stuff that basically boils down to, "You're wrong, and my privilege lets me say so"), and then the most faily thing ever is said:
Other person:
I haven't got as far as the glowy sex, but aren't you arguing the (in my opinion impossible to objectively define) line between seduction and rape? Sounds like she got the horn and went irrational, as anyone can. I think if she's fine with it afterwards then you have to allow her the empowered choice to be so. Even if it ruins the story.
Me:
No, we don't, fraac, though you certainly can if you want to. But we don't have to because Buffy isn't a person. We can ask why the writers needed to include it at all and say we think they should have thought about it more. Which is what we're saying.
AND THEN.
Other person:
Surely if we're talking about her rights then for sake of argument she's a person? Otherwise you could do anything to her.
I think that, in the same way freedom of speech means defending to the death your worst enemy's right to verbally attack you, the ultimate expression of feminism is to defend a woman's right to enjoy being raped. In both cases it's about accepting (i.e. loving) our fellow humans for all they are, even where their existence is at odds with our deepest fears. So it's about courage and self-awareness.
[eta]
AND THERE'S MORE!
What if the character of Buffy spoke to the writer, as (previously) well-formed characters often do, and said she enjoyed the coercive universe aspect of sex? Either she's a person or she isn't, can't have it both ways.
[eta 2]
FOR FURTHER PROOF THAT THE UNIVERSE IS FAILING AND FAILING HARD TODAY, PLEASE TO BE LOOKING AT THIS POST.
But perhaps not if you value your sanity and your faith in humanity.
Please read that last link I linked to (once again, here) and report the hell out of this guy. I know the superpowers of my awesome feminist flist can shut this guy down.
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Have you ever read The Fountainhead? Or even Atlas Shrugged? While I enjoy most of what Ayn Rand wrote, she does seem to have this complex where sex is not a positive thing, where it's a violent act of taking. And I almost feel like I have to write it off as white noise because it's so consistent among her characters that it's not even part of their characters, it's just her projecting or something. Which is horrible to think about, but -
There's a scene in The Fountainhead where the female protagonist "wants" the male protagonist to rape her because she wants him to fight for her and dominate her. And it made me sick to read it and it's not like the male protagonist can read her thoughts and it's such a violation I have to wonder what Rand, as a woman, found attractive about that. I just don't get it.
But regardless of whether it's Buffy or another character, a character is allowed to have what we would perceive as weird or not-okay preferences. The question is have those been clearly established beforehand to her sexual partner? Because role-playing is part of some healthy relationships, so why not for a character? As long as everyone's in on it and it's not "Well, I kinda liked it after the fact so thanks, I forgive you."
Today has been made of such fail. I moved my laptop to the office kitchen so I could work without wanting to explode.
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So I’m not reading your comment for the sake of my sanity, okay?
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I'm still stuck on the concept that is shared above by fraac about wanting rape. If you want someone to have sex with you, to overpower you and even hurt you--if you want it... isn't that rape fantasy where you are consenting and not rape?
Rape is violation of consent, of will. If the character in The Fountainhead is demanding violent and overpowering sex, is that rape? (I haven't read this book, so maybe someone else can enlighten me.)
I'm just stuck on the "enjoy being raped" phrase of the day. Which reads as antithetical to me.
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Which leads to the rest of my comment.
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Anyways! I agree with you that if you like rough, dominating sex, that's fine. But you're so right about having things established with your partner, cause that's not rape. If it's established, it's okay.
:D
I'm sorry your day has been so sucky.
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I wish I had a punching bag (just checking).
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