i am the worst

[lirazel]

Tonight I was going to go to a potluck with the single's group from church (not a meet-someone-to-marry singles group, just a we-hang-out-and-we-aren't-married-like-everyone-else group). I should have gone. I really should have. But I stayed home instead and continued to write, and I'm telling myself that when I get published I can look back at this and think, "That was a good decision because it gave me more practice which made me a better writer."

I'm choosing to ignore the fact that what I wrote was 7,000 words of cracky gender!swap Infinite fic where Sungyeol wakes up as a girl. Because that is irrelevant.

Y'all, I am so, so bad at socializing. So bad. I am also bad at not writing weird fic.

Comments

[upupa-epops.livejournal.com]

Well, if you're happy with your crackfic, it was totally worth it ;). Sometimes you're just not in the mood to hang out!

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

:D

The problem is that I'm almost never in the mood to hang out, so when I am, there's no one to hang out with! It's sad!

[mollivanders.livejournal.com]

Nah, that sounds like the best, not the worst.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Well, I certainly enjoyed myself!

[snickfic]

I am also bad at both these things. Solidarity?

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

*fistbump*

Yes, it's nice to be in good company.

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

Not the worst. So not the worst.

I'm choosing to ignore the fact that what I wrote was 7,000 words of cracky gender!swap Infinite fic where Sungyeol wakes up as a girl. WHAT EVEN

Y'all, I am so, so bad at socializing. So bad. I'm so so so sorry! ((Maybe next time insist that someone carpool with you? If someone is at the door with a FACE shouting: "Lauren! We're late!" maybe getting out the door will be a little easier?))

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

you're sweet!

((Maybe next time insist that someone carpool with you? If someone is at the door with a FACE shouting: "Lauren! We're late!" maybe getting out the door will be a little easier?))

This is a really great idea, but I don't have anyone to carpool with, unfortunately. *sigh*

I LOVE that gif. How so perfect, pretty girl whose name I can never remember since I never watched that show?

OMG KELSEY. I HAVE 10,000 WORDS OF SUNGYEOL-IS-A-GIRL. AND IT'S GOING TO BE WOOYEOL. I AM ENJOYING MYSELF SO IMMENSELY.

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

but I don't have anyone to carpool with, unfortunately. *sigh*
I was supposed to go to a fantabulous Halloween party at an old movie theatre (still tricked out like the 30's with elaborate wood carvings and beautiful red curtains, the works) but instead I sat in bed and watched Alex Russo and told myself it was because I didn't have a buddy to carpool with. So I feel your feelz.

I LOVE that gif. How so perfect, pretty girl Taylor Townsend. She owns me. If you ever watch the OC - skip right to S3 (because Taylor marries a French novelist and he writes about their sexcapades LIKE WHAT)


OMG KELSEY. I HAVE 10,000 WORDS OF SUNGYEOL-IS-A-GIRL. AND IT'S GOING TO BE WOOYEOL. I AM ENJOYING MYSELF SO IMMENSELY.

OMG LAUREN I LOVE YOU SO HARD AND AM DANCING WITH JOY. JOY I SAY!

HERE: HAVE INAPPROPRIATE HANDS:::

[kwritten.livejournal.com]

Also - I'm not really sure what's going on, but I want to SQUISH WOOHYUNNY'S ADORKABLE FACE in this gif.

Because.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

HIS FACE IS SO VERY PRECIOUS. I LOVE IT SO MUCH I WANT TO CRY.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

still tricked out like the 30's with elaborate wood carvings and beautiful red curtains, the works

That sounds lovely! But Alex Russo is the loveliest, so. I understand.

If you ever watch the OC - skip right to S3 (because Taylor marries a French novelist and he writes about their sexcapades LIKE WHAT)

THAT IS THE GREATEST THING I EVER HEARD.

I am having sooooo much fun with the gender!swap! I'm so glad you're excited! Expect the first chapter today or tomorrow!

LOOK AT THAT GIF. OH BOYS.

[muneca-brava.livejournal.com]

I cancelled two hanging-out-with-friends dates last week because I wanted to stay inside and watch tv. So I wasn't even productive! It was also because I was home alone - when my mum's home and I tell her 'tomorrow evening I'm going out' it's easier to stick to it. When it's just me I just decide I don't want to and nobody has to know what I choose to do instead.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's very true. Sometimes I think I need to hire someone to make me do things I don't want to do. I have so little will-power myself!

[laeryn.livejournal.com]

I've done that several times before! Sometimes we just don't feel like hanging out with people, and how is writing not a good alternative? As long as it's not something you do eeeeeevery time you have a chance to go out, that's perfectly ok.

ALSO: I WANT TO READ THAT FIC!

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I definitely do it way more than I should. *sigh* But thank you--that makes me feel better to hear!

You will definitely get to read it! Hopefuly soonish! I have the first (7,000) chapter mostly done! I think it's going to be 3-4 chapters? IDK. We'll see where it leads me!

[theramble.livejournal.com]

aww, you're not the worst in the least. the question is whether you wanted to socialize. if not, i don't think there's anything wrong with doing what makes you feel good, which might have been staying in and writing that day! though if anxiety played a role, i'm sorry, i know that very well and it sucks. :( (i was just invited to a birthday party by my former classmate and i'm already grieving that i'm not going. i'm not sure i want to go and i know if i went, i would have felt crappy there, but also i have this stigma of being a failure in life things i'm supposed to have covered by now so i'm too embarrassed to even consider going. WOW THAT SOUNDED COMPLICATED my point is that i hear you on failed social opportunities! <3)

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I just never want to socialize until the few rare times that I do, but then I don't have anyone to socialize with because I never made any friends in the first place!

But you're very encouraging--thank you!

i'm not sure i want to go and i know if i went, i would have felt crappy there, but also i have this stigma of being a failure in life things i'm supposed to have covered by now so i'm too embarrassed to even consider going.

I totally, totally understand. One of my best friends growing up moved back to town just recently, and I really don't want to meet up with her because she's married and has a great job and everything, and I'm...writing Infinite fic and reblogging pictures of pretty people on tumblr. I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE.

But I don't think other people in my situation are failures, so I need to learn to be kinder to myself, I suppose. *sigh*

In other news, I am not having any luck retraining myself to think "Louie" when I see that face instead of "Lewis." SO HARD.

[theramble.livejournal.com]

blah! i know that too. I JUST WANT SOME TO GO TO PUBS AND COFFEE SHOPS WITH. though i'm pretty much incapable of making lasting friends irl even when i do accept those rare offers to socialize.

for what it's worth, i don't think you're a failure!

(have you seen this post on tumblr? i like it a lot, even though i struggle with thinking in these more or less hopeful terms right now.)

oh damn! do you know that youtube video with all the times someone says "buffy" on the show? someone should make such a video with, like, "i'm louis." that would be a good learning experience, haha.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

I used to be so much better about making friends, back when school was a thing. But outside of the school environment, I just don't know how to do it. IT'S SO HARD NOW.

for what it's worth, i don't think you're a failure!

And I don't think you are! We should learn to listen to each other!

Yes, that is a very good post! I need to internalize it!

someone should make such a video with, like, "i'm louis." that would be a good learning experience, haha

Maybe that would help!