lirazel: An outdoor scene from the film Picnic at Hanging Rock ([s] clever)
lirazel ([personal profile] lirazel) wrote2012-01-26 09:45 am

thoughts on truth & responsibility in art, or, why i dislike xander harris but think he's necessary

So Mark, he of the Mark Watches blog, is now watching Buffy straight through and posting his thoughts as he goes. This has stirred up a lot of feelings in the remnants of BtVS fandom, and we’ve already talked at length about the depth of his analysis (or, more accurately, the lack thereof) and whether or not we think it’s weird that he’s making money off of basically just posting his emotional responses to a show (for the record, my thoughts are: yes, it’s weird, but I’d probably do the same thing if I had the option, so I can’t really blame him). But I wanted to talk about something I’ve seen mentioned a couple of times in passing in discussions about other aspects of his analysis, because it’s been on my mind a lot.

I can’t remember which post it was (please feel free to link me to it if you remember what I’m talking about), but someone mentioned that you almost have to watch the show in its historical context the way you would read a book written three centuries ago or something like that. Because social justice-y ways of watching the shows were not at all prominent ways of approaching these texts back then (15 years ago, more or less, which: crazy).

For instance. Someone mentioned that people nowadays have a much stronger reaction to Xander than most people did when watching the show originally. Specifically, this person mentioned the subject of slut-shaming and pointed out that the word "slut-shaming" was not in the common fan's lexicon at that point. Obviously the act of slut-shaming existed, has always existed, but the vocabulary for talking about it wasn't as accessible to most people in fandom as it is now. [Note: This doesn’t mean that people didn’t react to the shows the same way people do now—I know for a fact that the reactions to Tara’s death and to “Lies My Parents Told Me” were very profound and coming from the same place that they might now, and I imagine there were viewers who recoiled from Xander’s sexism in ways that are identical to the way someone watching today might. But the vocabulary to talk about them weren’t as prominent then, or at least not nearly as widespread. People have always approached texts with their own experiences and baggage in mind, but the idea of the average viewer as opposed to an academic approaching this show and watching it from a social justice point of view was not nearly as common as it is now. Now we kind of expect most people in fandom to at least know what we mean when we talk about these things--though we're often proven wrong, that assumption is made. People wouldn't have been as likely to assume that then.]

Now look. I will admit freely that I do not like Xander most of the time (he does have his moments). But. A great part of my fury at his character is the fact that I know guys just like him. It really is almost breathtaking the way that the writers created a character who so embodies this particular kind of guy, a kind I knew quite a lot of in high school. And I dislike Xander because he reminds me so, so much of these guys. That’s actually fantastic writing. The verisimilitude of this characterization actually blows my mind. And guess what? These guys are the kind to slut-shame. These guys are the kind of guys who hang around a girl they have a crush on hoping that he’ll be able to wear her down enough that she’ll settle for him. These guys are really, really judgmental towards women and our behavior. And I actually really appreciate that Joss and the other writers explore a character like this. The point of art is to tell the truth, and the truth is: these guys exist, and while they can be really great friends and people in some areas, they do a lot of terrible things that can feel like a punch in the gut or spitting in the face to those of us who they’ve judged or otherwise hurt. Having your own experience be recognized by art can be a powerful thing.

On the other hand, seeing that kind of behavior acted out again on a show we’re watching for entertainment when we already have to deal with in real life…that can be rough. And obviously the guys who act like this are products of a society that tells them that it’s okay to act like this. And part of that societal instruction comes from TV shows they watch to be entertained. So there’s sort of a cycle going on here.

So the question then becomes: how do you portray these facts of life and human behavior without that portrayal propagating that very behavior? We obviously can’t have our characters acting like paragons of virtue all the time (though it sometimes seems to me that some people do in fact want the characters to always behave in the correct way regarding *isms, even if they don’t care that the characters are going out and killing people or whatever. That…does not seem realistic to me personally. *isms are a huuuge part of life, and any art that is truthful has to recognize that). That would be boring, and worse, it would be untruthful. Even our heroes need to do and say things that are flat-out wrong.

But it’s easy to have Willow try to destroy the world or, more mundanely, have Willow and Xander cheat on Oz and Cordelia and have audiences know that this behavior is not at all okay. We know because it’s societally supported, because we see how much it hurts the victims (poor Oz and Cordy!), because most of us find it easy to imagine what it would be like to be the victims of this behavior (no, I do not want to do! No, I do not want to be cheated on! Obviously!). But the *isms we talk about are so, so much more insidious, aren’t they? Society at large slut-shames, so unless we’ve experienced this ourselves or have been aware of these things, mostly via education, we won’t necessarily see that behavior and immediately think, “Bad.” Moreover, most men and a lot of women aren’t used to identifying with a character who’s being slut-shamed (I know that before I got into the whole feminism thing, I certainly wasn’t. I have about as little sexual experience as it’s possible to have, and no one had ever slut-shamed me because no one has anything to slut-shame me about--not that they always need the excuse, because sometimes they don’t. So it was entirely outside the realm of my experience, and so I didn’t notice it as hurtful). So when we have someone like Warren, his misogyny is easily coded as bad because…he’s the bad guy and also because it’s extreme enough to be noticeable and repugnant to most people (he literally turns Katrina into his slave! Most decent people are going to realize how NOT OKAY that is). But how do you portray a “good” guy like Xander being incredibly sexist and not portray that as okay? Does the writer have to resort to heavy-handed preaching?

The line between these things is blurry. None of us like being preached at. But at the same time, sometimes just portraying the opposite behavior (for instance, Xander really doesn’t seem to have a problem most of the time with the idea that Buffy is in charge and is very much stronger than he is, which is a good thing) isn’t enough. It can be so, so hard, and I have sympathy for writers trying to accomplish it, because (HELLO READER RESPONSE THEORY I LOVE YOU) different members of the audience are going to react to things in completely different ways. I look at something like Dollhouse. Most people will admit that Joss was trying to critique rape culture. However, a lot of us think that he didn’t do a good job of it—that his personal squicky kinks and not-so-stellar writing (plus a lack of time to develop the stories) got in the way to the point where he mostly ended up actually perpetuating the rape culture he was initially trying to critique. Uh-oh. Not so good. But then I know other people (hello, Poco!) who think he did a great job critiquing it and find it really powerful and effective, and I think that’s an entirely legitimate response to the text.

And then, some members of your audience are just going to be horrible people. I mean, GRRM doesn’t hate on Cersei or Sansa, but goodness gracious fandom sure does (see also: Bennett, Bonnie; Summers, Dawn; et al. And writers cannot control their audiences’ reactions to their texts, as much as they may want to. When they try you end up having Samuel Richardson writing over a million words of Clarissa because people kept reading the text wrong. But no matter how many words he wrote, they kept reading it the way he didn’t want them to. Must have been frustrating, but that’s the nature of art—it doesn’t exist in any one form, it has as many forms as there are readers or viewers or listeners—a new and unique piece of art is created each time a person reads of watches or otherwise experiences that art. And that’s the joy of art, but it can also be frustrating for us as artists who want to communicate a certain thing.

[eta]: I actually forgot to say that I don't think that on the whole the BtVS writers did a good job showing Xander's behavior as problematic in the first half of the show. They do a better job later. But I still think he's a realistic and even necessary kind of character, even though they could have done a MUCH BETTER JOB in questioning a lot of his behavior within the context of the show.

So how do you do it? Well, it’s always good to have other characters call out the bad behavior. And to present the opposite behavior in a good light. It feels like a cop-out to just say “try really hard and do better next time,” but sometimes I think that’s the best advice. I think if you’re actively trying to not portray as acceptable behavior you know is wrong, most of the time you’ll pull it off. And if you don’t, you apologize and try again.

[eta:] [livejournal.com profile] eowyn_315 pointed out something else I forgot to say originally, which is that being aware of your own privilege is hugely important in this whole endeavor. A big part of my problem with Joss and his sexism comes, I believe, from his failure to examine his own privilege. We see this in Xander's depiction, in Dollhouse, etc. So you not only have to try really hard, but you also have to see yourself clearly. That's key, and I hate that I forgot to say it.

Does anyone else have any advice on this topic? It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about the last couple of days, and sometimes it can feel like, “Oh, look, here’s another thing I have to worry about as a writer.” But I do think it’s important, so I appreciate any thoughts at all you might want to share.

And I am sure I’m leaving out something I meant to say, so don’t be surprised if this post is edited to add stuff in the future. My mind does not at all work in a linear fashion, so I usually end up leaving things out.

[identity profile] boot-the-grime.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think that the show was ever trying to portray Xander as a guy who's never misogynistic and that he got to say sexist things just by accident. If the male characters on the show had been portrayed as either wonderful beacons of perfection or misogynistic bad guys, then Xander/Angel/Spike/Riley/Giles wouldn't be called misogynists/sexist/rapists/abusers/paternalistic/patronizing/epitomes of male privilege and so on, but non-fans/haters of those characters. None of the major male characters is immune to this kind of behavior (though Oz comes the closest) and in some cases their development is the whole point - Spike is a very obvious example since he goes from looking like the worst of the worst when it comes to anti-female violence and misogyny, transforming and reinventing himself and finally becoming someone who comes close to a role model of what a contemporary man's attitude to a strong woman should be (no, I don't think he quite got there, but he certainly made a huge progress). Xander's development might not be so flashy, but I think his development from Nice Guy (TM) to a really nice guy is also pretty important.

I also don't think Warren is really "that other guy" in the way Caleb is - he is far more realistic and recognizable, his background is pretty similar to Xander's and Willow's, and he works so well as a villain in season 6 because it's easy to draw parallels between him and almost any of our heroes (Buffy, Spike and particularly Willow all have major Warren parallels going on, and Xander confronting Warren in that bar feels like Xander confronting someone he almost could have become and was falling back into just a while earlier).

[identity profile] boot-the-grime.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
I agree that it's really neat in some ways that the writers so accurately depicted a Nice Guy like Xander, but I think they largely failed in showing how his behaviors were wrong because (a) he's never "punished" for his behavior (the way you could argue that Willow is "punished" for her misuse of magic through Tara's death or how Buffy is "punished" for enjoying casual/violent sex through the AR- note, not at all condoning those "punishments," because they're abhorrent things for the writers to have purposefully done, but I do think "punishment" is a legit reading of those events and it's interesting that Xander is not similarly "punished" after "Hell's Bells"- no, he gets to be the freaking hero and stops the Evil Lesbian Witch!)

Ugh, I hate the idea that Buffy was punished or needed to be punished for enjoying sex with Spike - you'd almost make me hate my favorite season if I believed that. There was a lot of wrong with the Buffy/Spike relationship in season 6 - all the mutual abuse, the fact that they were never even able to define and agree on their relationship, what they wanted out of it and if both of them even wanted to be in it, and the many dubious consent moments and lack of boundaries throughout, which finally lead to the AR. But there was nothing wrong with sex itself or with what kind of sex it was or with Buffy enjoying sex.

I also hate the idea of Willow being "punished" by having Tara killed - which doesn't even make sense, since the murder of Tara had nothing to do with Willow's abuse of magic, and Tara is not an inanimate object whose only purpose is to be used against Willow.

Also, one could say that Xander was punished for leaving Anya at the altar - by Anya sleeping with Spike and Xander watching it, by Anya becoming a demon again, and by Anya not wanting to get back with him. It makes more sense than saying that Willow was punished for abusing magic, since all those things - Anya becoming a demon, Anya sleeping with Spike, and Anya never actually getting back with Xander, were all direct consequences of Xander leaving Anya at the altar.

Xander didn't get to stop Willow because he was being such a great guy in season 6 - he's a jerk through most of it - but because he finally turned his jerkass behavior around and offered Willow something he wasn't able to offer Anya or Buffy or Willow herself or anyone through most of the season - unconditional love and understanding, which was a complete opposite of his judgmental and shaming behavior in Entropy and Seeing Red.

[identity profile] boot-the-grime.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
I never got the feeling that I was supposed to identify with him - and I don't think I was, because I'm a woman. Xander seemed to be someone the writers probably expected teenage boys to relate to, but I doubt that anyone ever expected the female audience to identify with him. Buffy and Willow were there as obvious characters for the female viewers to identify with.

[identity profile] boot-the-grime.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, you articulated it wonderfully. Selfless is the most obvious episode in that respect - it finally puts Xander in Buffy's shoes, after years of him being judgmental of Buffy's choice of partners. I watched Dead Man's Party a few days ago and was shocked when Xander dismissed what Buffy went through with Angel as "boy troubles".

Also, I think the show mocks Xander's Nice Guy privilege in seasons 1 and 2, in many episodes in which he's complaining that Buffy prefers Angel to him, while ignoring Willow's feelings for him, though ironically the Xander/Willow situation at that point is the same as Buffy/Xander. Then he starts dating Cordelia and has to deal with the same kind of judgment and anger from Willow that he had shown Buffy for dating Angel. His jealous and proprietary behavior regarding Buffy and later Willow is also shown as ridiculous many times, and the same goes for his fantasies in which he constructs himself as a male hero saving Buffy's damsel (Teacher's Pet, Surprise).

[identity profile] local-max.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Yes exactly -- and so much word to Selfless. And yes, the show gives us a somewhat self-righteous Xander who is constantly undermined. Willow criticizing Xander for dating Cordelia as a mirror of him criticizing Buffy for dating Angel is a great detail, especially because there is another buried parallel (that Xander has been somewhat bullied by Angel, at least in School Hard where Angel isn't forthcoming about his "plan" that could result in Spike killing Xander, just as Willow was bullied by Cordelia in the past). Teacher's Pet has Xander especially playing the damsel role, too.

[identity profile] boot-the-grime.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
I think Star Trek TOS was forward-thinking in lots of areas, but not when it comes to gender (except in rare moments that were due to D.C. Fontana).
next_to_normal: (high school outcast)

[personal profile] next_to_normal 2012-01-27 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
Well, but that's the problem, isn't it? Teenage boys are the ones who are going to be much less aware of insidious sexism than girls are, since girls are more likely to have experienced it. So it's that much more important for boys to get the message that it's NOT acceptable behavior - but you have the character they're identifying with making sexist jokes and slut-shaming the female characters, and the show implicitly condoning it.

[identity profile] penny-lane-42.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
I was thinking more of race in that particular example--the idea that people from all over the world would be on one ship working together was pretty forward thinking at that point in time. But I agree about gender not being forward-thinking in the same way.

[identity profile] local-max.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, this (and to your other comment below :) ).

[identity profile] diebirchen.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Yup -- just so!

[identity profile] gryfndor-godess.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
But there was nothing wrong with sex itself or with what kind of sex it was or with Buffy enjoying sex.

I never said there was; I said that viewing the AR as a punishment for her "abnormal" sexual behavior is one way to read the text, and I stand by that. I don't think that was the point or the authorial intent, given how late in the game the AR was added to "Seeing Red," but I think it's an unfortunate, unintended result. It makes more sense in light of how chaste she is in S7 (except for when she's under the spell in "Him"): she was "bad" in S6, she was punished, "learned her lesson" about the evils of sex, and was "good" in S7. Again, the idea that that sequence could have been intentional is abhorrent, but that doesn't make it any less interpretable.

which doesn't even make sense, since the murder of Tara had nothing to do with Willow's abuse of magic

It's not a direct result, no, but on a Doylist level I think it can still be read as a punishment given that this is the season in which Willow transgresses the most upon laws of nature and magic and that at the end she then loses what she loves most in the world. The idea that it's a punishment fits in the sense that Tara was fridged and killed specifically so Willow would go dark. Her death is not only a catalyst for Willow's future transgressions but also a punishment for her earlier ones.

Also, one could say that Xander was punished for leaving Anya at the altar - by Anya sleeping with Spike and Xander watching it, by Anya becoming a demon again, and by Anya not wanting to get back with him.

That doesn't work for me as comparable to what happens to Buffy and Willow because those things all happen to Anya and are the result of her choices. Xander is a bystander, and any hurt he feels results from his own sense of entitlement (e.g., Anya shouldn't sleep with another guy, etc.).

[identity profile] diebirchen.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
I'm no Xander fan, as I think I've made clear; however, I do see a difference between his insults to Cordelia and those to Anya. Cordelia pretty much gave as good as she got. She was no doormat and dished out no end of insults herself. Anya was a different story. She was constantly trod upon, hurt, and really didn't understand why, nor did she return his insults in kind. I think his lack of respect for women was an off-shoot of his lack of self-respect, and that I understand.

[identity profile] gryfndor-godess.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Most of the time, it's the smaller actions of well-meaning people like Xander that hurt most. But because in Jossverse misogyny is definied by what "those other guys" do, the good guys never get called out for the things they do.

Ooh, really cool insight. I hadn't thought it that way.

I am interested in this essay of which you speak...

[identity profile] boot-the-grime.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
That doesn't work for me as comparable to what happens to Buffy and Willow because those things all happen to Anya and are the result of her choices. Xander is a bystander, and any hurt he feels results from his own sense of entitlement (e.g., Anya shouldn't sleep with another guy, etc.).

But Tara being murdered is something that happens to Tara. And while it's not a direct result of Tara's choices, neither is it a direct result of Willow's. It's a result of Warren's choice.

[identity profile] gryfndor-godess.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that's why I said the interpretation works more on a Doylist level. Another difference between Willow/Tara and Xander/Anya is that Anya chooses those actions and has full agency, whereas Tara certainly doesn't choose to die. Arguably one could say that Xander is being punished on a Doylist level, too, but I still don't think his suffering is comparable to that of losing a loved one; but comparability of suffering is getting into iffy territory, and it's certainly gut instinct/personal opinion, agree-to-disagree territory.

[identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
lol, so well-put.

[identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
Have I mentioned how much I love your readings of the text? Because :)

[identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, this is my thing with Tumblr's mode of permanent raaaaaage. It is 100% good and necessary to call that kind of shit out. But I honestly feel like A LOT of the (well-meaning) rhetoric surrounding social justice issues re: fandom is just making things WORSE? There's too much implicit shaming of people who aren't beyond Feminism 101. IDK. I think we talked about this once.

[identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Angel, on the other hand, seems to get that credit all the time, at least to my eyes.

Yep. To my eyes too.

[identity profile] ever-neutral.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
Ugh, so late to this post, can add nothing of substance. But, I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND THE DISCUSSION HEREIN. Thanks for it.

[identity profile] notemily.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, this.

[identity profile] notemily.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
I know you basically agreed with me here, so this is kind of a pointless comment, but I was thinking more about it and I think that Avatar: The Last Airbender did a better job on this front. Sokka is sexist, but in THE VERY FIRST LINES OF THE FIRST EPISODE he is called out on his sexism, and then later he has a whole storyline about respecting the Kyoshi Warriors and not dismissing them for being women. So like, it's realistic that Sokka is sexist, but the show makes sure he doesn't "get away with it," so to speak. I would have liked more of that from the earlier Buffy seasons.

[identity profile] frelling-tralk.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 11:42 am (UTC)(link)
I wouldn't have had an issue if Xander was making snarky comments more based around Cordelia being a mean person, or even snarking on her being rich and spoiled. There were plenty of much more effective ways to insult Cordelia when they were going for one another, but he so often went for slut-shaming comments on how she dresses like a hooker or locker room talk is that she's mass transportation, and IMO that said far more about Xander than it ever did about Cordy. Although I do agree that his behaviour toward Anya was much worse, I always got the feeling that his dismissness of her was very much based on learned behaviour from his parents marriage, although even then the show only ever called him out on that once in DMP after years of him belittling Anya in front of his friends and treating her as lesser

[identity profile] diebirchen.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 01:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I see your point, but in the end and in his bigoted, small-minded way, he just picked insults for their intended maximum impact, but then, so did Cordelia, who fought back. Interestingly, Buffy dressed much the same way, and he obviously knew it. As to "learned behavior," I'm sure you're right, but that is often cited as an excuse for his boorish behavior. It was surely a factor but not an excuse.

[identity profile] local-max.livejournal.com 2012-01-27 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
:) back at you.

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