And specifically, I really agree that Buffy would have absorbed a lot of this stuff; she's as great a character as she is in part because she struggles with those heavily gendered expectations in a way that I think is pretty relatable for a lot of us. And then it does make sense that she would go into the WHY SPIKE?!? surprise and latch onto the gender performance aspect as a distraction from the general OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS of S6.
OKAY YES. This is exactly what I was thinking and I'll just say again: it is so important to me that Spike is not Buffy's type. That she falls for him despite the fact that he so isn't who she'd pick for herself, that a large part of her falling for him is in A) how she changes and becomes less and less "feminine" and more and more "masculine" and can then embrace Spike's "femininity," and B) how much they've been through together and just being in each others' lives over time. Iris Murdoch says, "Love is what you've been through with someone," and that is SO TRUE for these two.
Anyway.
God, yes, it was so easy for everyone (Riley, and Buffy, and the AUDIENCE, my GOD) to fall into blaming her with gender-conformity bullshit.
I knoooooow! It made me think of that article that you linked to once about Buffy being a testosterone vampire. Gah, that thing was so, so sick.
- even the energy of their sex life really doesn't fit into that traditional gendered mold, because there's so much "EW GIRLS" ground into the uglier masculinity conventions. Totally agreed. And think of the way their initial encounter starts: with her shoving him into the wall and hitching herself up on him and unzipping and he's looking up at her. UP AT HER. OH THESE TWO AND THEIR GENDER FLIPPINESS I AM SO OBSESSED.
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And specifically, I really agree that Buffy would have absorbed a lot of this stuff; she's as great a character as she is in part because she struggles with those heavily gendered expectations in a way that I think is pretty relatable for a lot of us. And then it does make sense that she would go into the WHY SPIKE?!? surprise and latch onto the gender performance aspect as a distraction from the general OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS of S6.
OKAY YES. This is exactly what I was thinking and I'll just say again: it is so important to me that Spike is not Buffy's type. That she falls for him despite the fact that he so isn't who she'd pick for herself, that a large part of her falling for him is in A) how she changes and becomes less and less "feminine" and more and more "masculine" and can then embrace Spike's "femininity," and B) how much they've been through together and just being in each others' lives over time. Iris Murdoch says, "Love is what you've been through with someone," and that is SO TRUE for these two.
Anyway.
God, yes, it was so easy for everyone (Riley, and Buffy, and the AUDIENCE, my GOD) to fall into blaming her with gender-conformity bullshit.
I knoooooow! It made me think of that article that you linked to once about Buffy being a testosterone vampire. Gah, that thing was so, so sick.
- even the energy of their sex life really doesn't fit into that traditional gendered mold, because there's so much "EW GIRLS" ground into the uglier masculinity conventions.
Totally agreed. And think of the way their initial encounter starts: with her shoving him into the wall and hitching herself up on him and unzipping and he's looking up at her. UP AT HER. OH THESE TWO AND THEIR GENDER FLIPPINESS I AM SO OBSESSED.
But yeah, she would be conditioned to think that.
I think so. It makes me want to hug her.
Thank you so much for getting it. It thrills me.