Heh, I just get mad every time the question of body image comes up. It's so stupid! I'm smart, I know how those mechanisms work, I should know better! Watch me: a clever, strong, creative feminist who is miserable that she isn't thin. I'm so frustrated that I fall into this trap despite knowing exactly how it works. I'm slowly turning into my mother: forever either dieting or binge-eating. Though right now my body is giving me a chance to break the cycle, because lately I just feel really shitty if I don't eat healthily. So the last six months, I've been losing weight in a way that's actually good for me. Small mercies.
The scariest thing is that no matter how my body changes, my body image doesn't change. I feel the same all the time. I can tell, looking at pictures and clothes, that I'm fatter than I was when I was 16, but thinner than when I was 24. But it feels like my body's been identical for the last 10 years. I'm overweight now, but I recognize that I was just average when I was a teenager -- and yet I was convinced I was terribly fat.
Sorry, this is incoherent and awfully self-centered. I literally have no idea how to talk about this without talking about myself all the time. I take body image very personally.
no subject
The scariest thing is that no matter how my body changes, my body image doesn't change. I feel the same all the time. I can tell, looking at pictures and clothes, that I'm fatter than I was when I was 16, but thinner than when I was 24. But it feels like my body's been identical for the last 10 years. I'm overweight now, but I recognize that I was just average when I was a teenager -- and yet I was convinced I was terribly fat.
Sorry, this is incoherent and awfully self-centered. I literally have no idea how to talk about this without talking about myself all the time. I take body image very personally.