lirazel | random game of randomness

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random game of randomness

First of all, to all of you who left me comments on the love-meme, y'all are wonderful. Your comments moved me so much, and I know that I'll revisit them often when I'm feeling really down. I love y'all so much.

So let's play a game, okay? Just because I'm curious.

Tell me:
1) Which fandom character you most identify with personality/emotions-wise
2) Which fandom character's life you most identify with

Like this:

1) Emotionally, I really relate to Annie Sawyer from Being Human. She's a very emotional person, but that's not portrayed as a bad thing. She's just easily overcome by her feelings, both good and bad. She's more outgoing than I am, and she doesn't seem to have a passion about anything the way I do/did about writing and school, but she reacts to things emotionally the way I would. I also quite relate to Sam Seaborn in that I'm smart (though not a smart as him--the guy's a genius) but I'm very insecure and have a difficult time believing I can accomplish all I want to accomplish or that I deserve to play with the big kids. I'm always half-afraid that people are going to find out that I'm a giant loser and that I'm not nearly as smart as they think I am. He's also an idealist who tends to live in his head, which I am too. I can imagine him getting as frustrated as I do that I have to deal with the details of life instead of just living my dreams all the time. (Oh, and you all know I relate to Spike. Emotionally. Not in the details at all.)

2.) Julie Taylor. She's a white, straight, middle class, red state girl with a little sister and parents who love each other and a good home environment. She goes to church, does well in school, and doesn't live the party kind of life. She has some good friends but doesn't seem to have lots of them. Now, there are lots of details that don't match up with me--the boyfriends and her little acts of rebellion (and let's leave most of S5 out of this, because: NO). But her life is the closest thing I've ever seen to my life on television.

Anybody up for this? I'm really interested! I feel we can learn a lot about each other from this.

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1. Oz is me. I didn't realize this until I started writing fic about him, but it's the truth. Calm in most situations; given to dry humor (although with a slightly less dry delivery - I find it goes over better that way); solitary; deals with intense personal situations by getting away and being alone; prone to abrupt, absolute decisions to try and fix problems; has been known to kill relationships by being uncommunicative. Yep, the whole deal.

2. There... isn't really a TV/movie character I can think of whose life resembles mine much at all. Conservative white religious rural homeschooled girl who's nerdy and reads a lot and yet also has social skills? Yeah, TV's a little short on most of those characteristics, except to make fun. There are probably book characters whose experiences I relate to better, but I'm having trouble thinking of any of them.

As I am so fond of Oz, this makes me quite happy. :D

Yeah, TV's a little short on most of those characteristics, except to make fun.

Truth. Julie's literally the only TV character whose life reflects mine in any way. And there's plenty of differences.

Huh. I never would've picked Oz for you, but now that you say it OMG IT IS SO TRUE. (...and the a/b/o obsession is starting to make sense, LOL...)

I never would've picked Oz for you, but now that you say it OMG IT IS SO TRUE.

See? See?

...and the a/b/o obsession is starting to make sense, LOL...

:P

My answer to both would probably be Jaye Tyler from Wonderfalls or George Lass from Dead Like Me. Like Jaye I have an arts degree (two, in fact) and I'm currently slogging through that post-graduate malaise where I don't really know what to do with my life and no one will hire me. Technically I'm more of a George Lass at the moment since I'm no longer working retail, but have "moved up" to office temping. Like both ladies I can be abrasive, sarcastic, and acerbic, but it's really a defense mechanism. I have this need to protect my heart - whether it be from humiliation or heartbreak - so I tend to be guarded (I think I'm far less prickly online because it's a safe environment for me emotionally). I'm close to a few people but a lot of the time I prefer being alone.

And of course, there's the Liz Lemon thing. I know everyone thinks they can relate to Liz, but I really can in terms of personality if not her actual life. I have a close relationship with food (I really do like working on my night cheese), as well as a tight relationship with sarcasm. Liz has this thing where she seems to lack self-confidence, but she also tends to hold herself above others and be bossy which I can relate to a lot.

The one big difference between me and all three of these characters is that I've managed to establish a functional relationship with an adult male. Hooray.

Edited 2011-12-13 20:06 (UTC)

Confession: I still haven't seen Wonderfalls. But I loooove George and her face! I'm now imagining you making George faces as you temp. And I just have my B.A., but I'm doing office work too instead of using my degree. So I really feel you there.

The one big difference between me and all three of these characters is that I've managed to establish a functional relationship with an adult male. Hooray.

Good for you!

1) Emotionally, I think the best match for me is Veronica Mars. I'm... closed off would be a nice way of putting it. Shut down might be more accurate. I tend to purposely distance myself from people who care about me--and pretend like everything is fine--like they're the weirdo for wanting to know what's going on with me. I do that in large part to avoid exposing my vulnerability. I don't trust people. And even though I don't trust people in general, I idealize one or two people--way beyond what's even fair to them--but then at the same time, I still can't open up to them. I often think I'm smarter than the people around me (even though as I grow older, it seems like the people around me are getting smarter and smarter and I'm getting dumber and dumber), and sometimes I'm mean about it. Sometimes I'm ruthless (usually when someone has really pissed me off). Sometimes when I see someone getting victimized, I not only get angry at the abuser, I get angry at the victim (probably because I relate to the victim, and I hate seeing myself so vulnerable like they are). These are all instincts that I have to work against.

2) Life-wise, I gotta say Robin Scherbatsky. I have a career that I planned carefully from the age of about 15--one that by all the indicators, I shouldn't have. Robin and I are both in media (though she's in broadcast, which isn't dying quite the same rapid death as print), and I don't know how I've managed to have a job in this climate. But that said, I don't know where my job is going. It feels like I'm flailing in everything--my job, my relationships, my friendships (I guess she flails a little less in that department than I do). But she gets in these relationships that make her sort of happy, but they don't necessarily seem Right. And she's got a job, but it doesn't really fulfill her. And she's got friends, but she's on the outside with them all the time. She doesn't really want kids or a family or marriage, but having those choices taken away from her feels jarring and terrifying. What if she wanted to change her mind? That's pretty much my life in a nutshell. Totally frozen in the headlights.

Edited 2011-12-13 21:19 (UTC)

*hugs*

Well, both of those ladies, for all their flaws, are excellent imo, so remind yourself that you're awesome. But your answers are really interesting to me, because I wouldn't have necessarily picked them for you. It's really revealing.

[eta] By the way, do you know what Myers-Briggs type you are? I'm always interested in that.

Edited 2011-12-13 21:23 (UTC)

I think I'm INFP or INFJ. And sometimes I'll get T instead of F (so, INTP or INTJ). It's been a while since I took one of those, though.

And, I forgot to say that there are also some good things about Veronica that I relate to--I have a fairly good lexicon of pop culture references at the ready--and I tend to have a pretty quick wit (though not as quick or as acerbic as hers). And I'm (I think rightly) enraged by injustice like she is. I don't like it when the evil get parting gifts. But I don't think I'm as wrathful as she is. So, just as easily enraged, but more forgiving. So, it's not all bad. But I have a hard time analyzing Veronica with a clear head, because I feel like we're so much alike in so many ways, that I sort of breeze by the good aspects of her personality (not that I don't think she's good--because I DO. But, it's more that I take for granted her goodness--I don't feel like there should be any argument on the matter, so I don't give a lot of thought to how she is (or I am) good) and then I want to examine the more negative stuff in lurid detail because I feel like it gives me a better handle on myself. I'm also very wound up in my own issues--not unlike Veronica. So.

I'm an INFP all the way, but I think most people aren't firmly in one or the other.

Yeah, Veronica's a fascinating character precisely because she has so many flaws and so many great qualities. But I hear you on dwelling on the negative stuff: I can be the same way.

I love it when you talk about Robin! And I love Robin! Love!

AWESOME game. You are totally, utterly Annie Sawyer, and brilliant for it.

1)... probably Lorne, actually. I hate conflict. I love art, yes, except I prefer maths to music (but maths as art, you know, not maths as craft). I don't really believe in fighting for the greater good, except one person at a time. Owning something like Caritas, where everyone feels safe, and I can help them while getting to enjoy myself (see: good-looking staff, awesome clothes) is... pretty much my dream job, tbh.

And sometimes Serbia feels like Pylea, so, yeah.

2) Martha Jones all the way. Her life is basically my life, the telephone-call-juggling, the being The Only Sane One in my family (well, the only sane person over the age of 13 anyway). I have been through the unrequited love for brilliant emobucket thing, and I have learned from it pretty well. (He was the one who dumped me, but, eh, can't have everything.) I'm not saying I'm as selfless as her, but learning to have firm personal boundaries WAS an important part of becoming me. Also, you know, the telling an inspirational story to keep people going when everything falls apart? Feels kind of familiar too.

... actually, in retrospect, not only was he a brilliant emobucket, he was also keeping me around because
a. I was very clever
b. he was on the rebound from a universe-shattering romance and needed the company
so, you know. And I never even got to snog Shakespeare; woe is me.

Ouch. Rest assured, though, that Shakespeare would think you were totally awesome.

Awww! Thank you!

Lorne is excellent. That's so great.

but maths as art, you know, not maths as craft

If my head could wrap itself around math in any way (which it can't), this is the kind of math I would love. I think it's beautiful in theory, my brain just doesn't work like that.

OH MARTHA! OH YOU! ♥

I am an Annie Edison. I put so much of my self-worth into my academic career that I make myself sick with the stress, and that's just what happened to me in high school. It wasn't an Adderall addiction, but it still took me out of school, and I was stuck going to community college. I get so wrapped up in the things I'm working on that I throw temper tantrums when I'm interrupted or things don't go my way, but I also learn from my mistakes and become a better, more mature person just through living.

As for the life I'm like . . . gotta go with Liz Lemon. That's me in ten years, except instead of writing for television I'll be writing about television. I have the food issues, the dating issues, the neuroses and the baggage. I'm kind of expecting to be a single white imperfect Third Wave feminist who orders takeout every night and uses her treadmill to hang clothes on. I expect I'll have a Jenna to babysit, and a Jack to please, but I don't really mind the possibility of that life anymore.

I knew you would say Annie! *is not surprised*

Hee!

but I don't really mind the possibility of that life anymore.

It sounds pretty good to me!

I recently realised that I am in fact Santana Lopez. I am currently having a party in Narnia, and pretty much act like a bitch all the time, except from when I break out into tears because my life feels like crap. Unlike Santana, though, I'm certainly not sexual (I'm a closeted gay nerd; I haven't even kissed anyone), and I don't have a Brittany.

As for life, I don't know. I don't know if there are any occasionally suicidal, gay, British teenagers who spend all of their time on the internet or at school, being a bitch to anyone who tries to talk to them and sometimes setting things on fire.

Santana's a total badass.

Actually, leaving aside the gay thing, that description sounds strangely similar to Simon in the first series of Misfits...even down to the setting things on fire! ;D

AH, HA. I feel like I have this one particular character personality (who is almost always male, which is a whole set of issues) that I can latch onto so easily and identify with ALWAYS. Wesley, Damon, and Lee Adama, and to a lesser extent Spike. They're all about where pride meets powerlessness; about wanting to prove themselves but seeing how fucked-up (and fucking *stupid*) all the bars for proving oneself are; about being giant drama queens with some over-the-top persona or other but just dying for someone to see through it, and really not being sure who they are underneath; about disconnect and insecurity and love that's sometimes scary. Spike is slightly the outlier here because he has an optimism the others don't, and that I can't always access.

Which is not *good.* I get a lot out of thinking about them, and I still think Wesley is one of the most *admirable* characters I can pull off the top of my head. But that is a list of some serious cray-cray, so. Issues.

Life-wise....? If I eliminate the SF killer zombies aspect of their stories, I could probably find a lot of commonalities with all of them, but I really don't see myself in any of them life-wise. I aspire to being Amy Gardner in ten years, though. And I have a law degree and have worked at feminist non-profits and plan to do so again, so I guess that counts? I don't really see my life on television.

Edited 2011-12-14 00:00 (UTC)

lol. solidarity for the rest of our lives. (fuck our lives.)

THAT ICON. THAT ICON.

ALL CREDIT GOES TO

eowyn_315. :D

at least they're all AWESOME.

A list of craziness? Well, okay, but also pretty much a lot of badass-ness, too! :D

I aspire to being Amy Gardner in ten years, though. And I have a law degree and have worked at feminist non-profits and plan to do so again, so I guess that counts

I love this plan.

AMY IS MY HERO. I <3 her MORE EVERY TIME.

1) Hahaha, erm, Wesley, which probably isn't very good! But I find him so recognisable - too introspective by half, with that interspersed with random bouts of awkward enthusiasm. Never been a rebel-rebel, but doesn't quite gel with groups; acts on his own opinions, no one else's. Definitely self-critical, but let down by pride all the same. Causes most of his own problems.

2) There's never been anyone in fandom whose life I've related to. :(

Wow, that description of Wes reminded me of me, which is strange because I never connected to him nor did I ever consider I might be like him. Interesting!

There are a lot of great things about Wes, too. I looooove the awkward enthusiasm, for one thing.

There's never been anyone in fandom whose life I've related to. :(

Until FNL, I would have to say the same thing. It's one of the reasons that show means so much to me, because it shows people who live lives that I actually recognize the details of. It still blows my mind.

1) Codex! She can go from "my genius will save the world" to "oh my gosh, ew, I have to use the phone, I want to die now" in no time, and I completely relate to that. Codex wants to spend most of her time in fantasy land, but she also sometimes wants fantasy land to become reality, and is willing to put herself in fairly scary situations in order to make it happen. She is somewhere between my avatar and my woobie I guess...I want things to be okay for her, but I also relate to her enough to know that she needs to make decisions that will make a happy ending more fesible :).

2) Haha...definitely a teacher character. Maybe Lily from HIMYM, although emotionally and relationship history-wise, I relate a lot more to Robin.

OMG YES. CODEX. EXCELLENT CHOICE.

Codex wants to spend most of her time in fantasy land, but she also sometimes wants fantasy land to become realit

OH HELLO ME. We obviously share a lot of similarities. And Codex is excellent.

These are both hard for me.

1) Seeing snick's description of Oz, I think that's a lot like me. And I relate to Codex's reticence, too. But I think I felt *most* like a character when Buffy is washing the dishes and turns up some ridiculous music so no one will hear her cry. That is so much like me; I don't like being seen as vulnerable, and I always hide it when I'm down. Sometimes I get to a point where I can't keep it in anymore, and I sob openly no matter where I am, but that's only happened twice!

I also relate to her when she closes herself off from her friends. The epic love and vampire sexcapades and saving the world ... not so much.

In other news, I also feel a kinship with Lucy Snow, except I don't consider myself quite so, um, racist. But the fact that everyone looks at her and sees this boring, contained person, and yet she has this intense internal life? Yeah. I've been that person.

2) I have not seen anyone like me on TV. Partly because my kind of life does not make for good television! I think Codex might come close, except I don't do any gaming, and I had to move back in with my parents after I lost my job. Which means that Codex has experienced way more success in life (so far) than I have!

OH THAT SCENE. That scene tears me up for Buffy in ways I cannot even describe.

I have no idea who Lucy Snow is. Help me out?

Yeah, I think Felicia Day understands modern geek girls better than anyone else. I don't game, either, but I see a ton of myself in Codex.

Lucy Snow is the hella unlikeable protagonist of Villette. :D

Aha! I still haven't gotten around to reading it yet. It's on my list.

I like a lot of what the book is doing, but it really hasn't aged well. I like it better than Jane Eyre, though. There's much less maiming. :D

1) John Watson. You would like to call me in an emergency! I charm the ladies! Also, PTSD!

I will make you a cup of tea, even if you are not Sherlock Holmes. And I think I'm a fun but calming person to be around?

2) Buffy Summers. Like Buffy, I had way too much responsibility at a young age, parents who loved me but were checked out to a certain degree, and a younger sibling for whom I was overly responsible. I have made Interesting Relationship Choices. I, too, have many many friends who rock my world and who have helped me out when I struggled on my own. Sometimes, even when your real life is mundane, you can really feel like you are one girl in all the world, and to a certain degree you are, you know? You are the only girl in the world who can live your own life.

Both Buffy and I are survivors. And that is why we are awesome.

OMG I LOVE IT. Yes, you are fun but calming! John Watson! So delightful!

Both Buffy and I are survivors. And that is why we are awesome

I completely agree with this statement.

This meme seems tough but interesting! Let's do some self-reflection.

1. This is so tough for me since there so many ladies on television I relate to. I relate to Annie Sawyer in her emotions and the strong way she's there for her friends, and the way she destroys Owen and puts him behind her. I relate to Kate in her trust issues and her instinct to just run (I ran all the way across the country). But all these women lead very interesting, out of the ordinary ~lives and at the end of the day I think I'm most like Juliet O'Hara from Psych. She's good at what she does, she loves what she does, and she's not afraid to be tough when she has to be or have fun when she wants to. She makes cupcakes and can disassemble and reassemble her firearm in 90 seconds or less, and that's something I strive for in my life.

2. There are no grad students on tv, are there? Or lady economists? When Terriers was on I realized Laura Ross was basically living my life but that's over now, and I'm no longer a journalist, so this is probably going to be Juliet O'Hara as well. She's just that right for me.

It's been forever since I watched that show, but she was awesome. Nice one!

First things first - I didn't get to comment on the love meme before it hit the max comments limit, so let me take this opportunity to say that I find you delightful, and seeing your name pop up on my flist always makes me smile.

Now, onto the meme...

1. Hahaha, I feel like I talk about this ALL THE TIME? And yet I still can't narrow it down to one! I'd say I have aspects of Buffy and Caroline, but there are also ways we're very different. In terms of hiding my emotions and putting on a brave face for everyone, I'm very Buffy, but Buffy (being the center of attention) doesn't capture my "second-best" feelings the way Caroline does. On the other hand, I've never been as outgoing as Caroline, even if I was an overachiever and did ALL THE THINGS in school.

A lot of what

blackfrancine about Veronica resonated with me, too, but I think that's partly because she's like Buffy in a lot of ways (the emotionally closed-off thing, pop culture references, quick wit, enraged by injustice - but Buffy has a lot more compassion than Veronica, IMO). I AM ALL THE TINY BLONDES. ~~Which is weird, since I am neither tiny nor blonde.~~

Oh, and Erica Strange, though less so as the series has progressed. Clearly I need me some time travel therapy.

2. Julie Taylor reminds me a LOT of me as a teenager. Uncomfortably so at times, lol. As an adult, though, I can't say there's really someone whose life resembles mine. I mean, in the vaguest "involved in politics" sense, there's everyone on The West Wing, but my career path doesn't look much like theirs (although I want to be CJ when I grow up).

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