He's...a raging misogynist and the text doesn't recognize that. The text acts as though the only way to hate women is the way that Warren or Caleb does it instead of recognizing that Xander's way is just as damaging.

Okay, this I can agree with, and it's very well-worded. Just because he finds powerful women hot doesn't negate all the other misogyny he displays throughout the series. And he only finds Buffy hot when she does what he deems right for her re: love life.