lirazel | I'm spamming y'all like crazy lately, aren't I?

omg feed my ego bb

also omg i missed that ontd_f post and OH FUCK ME.

also having curly hair really does suck. kerri russell was my hero for YEARS just because she was the only person i ever saw who had hair like mine. :(

I'd love to!

"Since You Left I'm a Gold Balloon That Wanders High" because you wrote me Xander/Cordy! Which nobody ever writes. And you gave it so much more weight and importance than the show ever did, but I know that that was going on in their heads, because it had to be, and you just transcribed it. Trufax.

And it's beautifully written and poignant and I already left a really, really long review on it, so I'm going to shut up now.

But it also just occurred to me that I've never read your DW stuff AND NOW I WANT TO. MARTHA LOVE.

[eta] That post just reminded me of why the world sucks but I was SO GLAD someone was writing it!

Also, I looove the rare occassions when curly girls show up on TV/movies...but their hair is so smooth and silky even when they have curls! I pout.

Edited 2010-03-31 18:01 (UTC)

BAM. What? DO IT.

(I'll admit to being curious as to how much of my stuff you've read. If you're like me, probably only more recent stuff. I've read so much by Deird and Stormwreath and Beer Good and Rebcake and on and on, but only really from the point where I started reading them and then kept on reading their new stories.)

YES, MA'AM!

I think I've read pretty much everything? Maybe?

This is so incredibly hard, because you write Buffy and Spike just exactly how I want them to be. Like, every time. Also, your dialogue makes me green with envy. GREEN WITH ENVY.

But. I think I'm gonna have to be predictable and go with TYSK. Because it's the comics except better. And it's taking Buffy to a place she's never been and breaking my heart over her all over again but she's still my hero. And because Spike gets to be his own man but he's also Buffy's man. And because I care so much about Lara. And because there's Spike and Connor running around together. And because you throw in these little moments--with Xander or Faith or whoever--that are just so very perfect that I want to keep reading them forever, even if I don't usually care about that character. And because you write kick-ass action scenes (GREEN WITH ENVY). And you did interesting things with the Immortal. And who knows where it'll end? I mean, I sort of do, but you keep changing your mind! It's constantly evolving! Like life!

I love it.

And I have to break the rule and also give a shout-out to "Of All That Is Sweet and Warm" because daddy!Spike and adorable!Charlie and mama!Buffy! And it was for my birthday!

[eta] I do tend to do that, too, though. But I think I spent an afternoon/evening reading through most of your fic one time....So you're special!

Edited 2010-03-31 18:10 (UTC)

Aaaaaaaah, you're so good for me too! Haha, seriously. You always make me want to write everything ever. Please note you got me to write Spuffy skating fic without even asking me too!

GREEN WITH ENVY is how I feel about your prose and parentheticals, TRUTH.

[eta] I do tend to do that, too, though. But I think I spent an afternoon/evening reading through most of your fic one time....So you're special!

And hey, I've done the same with your fics! Though I need to go venturing into the other non-Buffy fandoms a bit more. And I've left off reading a few Buffyverse fics, oddly, because it's like I'm saving them for when I need them like an emergency chocolate supply. STRANGE.

(I always think of this icon as my talking-to-Lauren icon 'cause 1) this being how your relationship is with your sister, 2) your Buffy and Dawn love and 3) 'cause this is how I'd be hugging you in RL. haha!)

Please note you got me to write Spuffy skating fic without even asking me too!
I used the POWER OF MY MIND!

But seriously: I'm still thrilled to death about that. YAY!

Ooh! I'd love to know what you think about non-Buffy fandoms!

Also! Just out of curiosity (because I'm ridiculously curious), which Buffy ones have you not read? Because I feel like some of them aren't all that good, so I want to tell you not to get your expectations that high....

'cause 1) this being how your relationship is with your sister, 2) your Buffy and Dawn love and 3) 'cause this is how I'd be hugging you in RL. haha Um, YES. I think of it as my icon for those reasons, too! WIN!

Hmm... *checks* I haven't read Infinitas Infinitio Infinitus, Also Ran, Even the Demons Tremble, and a few other small ones. Aren't all good? Pshaw. You're worried about disappointing me? Silly!

Oh, and I was thinking about your O'Connor revelation and had this idea that she was somehow recruited to be part of a new Watcher's Council RUN BY WOMEN and she's writing a paper on Spike and goes to shadow him for a few weeks and write a paper on him. HAHA. I clearly like your idea way too much.

It's YOUR ICON. I should rename it Lauren. :P

ETA: Oh, maybe the new Council sends O'Connor during Season 5 when Andrew reveals that Spike is back. So it could somehow end in a reunion. She could advise him on how to find his own purpose in life!

Edited 2010-03-31 18:52 (UTC)

Jeez. I can hardly believe you are listing me with those guys. Do I really seem that prolific? I feel like a piker compared to you. Of course, that's partly because I haven't posted anything novel length...

First read this about how filmmakers are taught not to make films where women talk to each other.
Thank you for that. I'm sorta speechless, so I'll just jump on the fanfic meme thingy. (Can't comment on the hair thing, mine is fine and straight.)

It does leave you speechless, doesn't it? Sometimes I feel like we're fighting such an uphill battle that we'll never get there. *sigh*

Well, my schadenfreude (which I only have for fictional characters, not real ones) likes showing up Riley in "Play It Again, Sam."

But! "Shanshu Summer" is so PRETTY! It really is so very, very pretty, and Buffy is happy, which makes me happy. Also, apparently you fuel my OT3ness, because I've read "Because Cavemen Have Fire" a couple of times and always enjoyed it. So...anything involving B/S/A?

Can't comment on the hair thing, mine is fine and straight Lucky!

It does leave you speechless, doesn't it? Sometimes I feel like we're fighting such an uphill battle that we'll never get there. *sigh*
It gave me flashbacks to 'Twins' (Arnie film) that I once caught a bit of on TV... At one point the 'girlfriends' turn up bringing cakes that they made for their menfolk. Because apparently they had nothing better to do (or anything more interesting to contribute). I had to stop myself from throwing something at the telly, and instead went to bed very grumpy. [insert enormous amount of love for Buffy & Torchwood: CoE]

Well, my schadenfreude (which I only have for fictional characters, not real ones) likes showing up Riley in "Play It Again, Sam."
*snerk* But I'm so nice...

But! "Shanshu Summer" is so PRETTY! It really is so very, very pretty, and Buffy is happy, which makes me happy.
::dances:: Oh this makes me SO HAPPY! Because it was totally written just to be pretty, and I love it to distraction, and this is what happened. Trufax. ;)

Also I'm happy to have infected you with my OT3 love. (Because I love Angel, and it makes me sad if he gets left out... *pets him and his sticky-up hair*)

I know I haven't written as much as some people.. but pretty please, if you're able?

First off, I LOVE YOU FOREVER for that icon.

I have enjoyed everything of yours that you've written (that I've read!), but I think my favorite is "When She Kept Showing Up." I haven't reread it in a while (and can't, really, here at work), but I remember it creating a perfect suspended mood, if that makes sense. I was there with Spike, and I remember it being a quiet fic, but moving. I also remember the last line being completely perfect.

Yay, thank you, I'm kind of fond of that movie.

Thanks for the feedback! That's one of the pieces that I feel rather satisfied with for the most part. And you're right, I hadn't really thought of it before, but the whole moment in the car is definitely kind of suspended.

Here's a film that passes the Bechdel Test: Down With Love. I saw it 4 times in the theater. Mostly empty theaters, alas. I'm not allowed to post it in comments over there, because of my fear of commitment (not a member). But, ITYSK.

I'd love to hear which of my fics you like best, of course. Who wouldn't?

Every time I see you use ITYSK, I keep thinking I somehow invented this new internet shorthand!

Didn't you? Seize the credit.

Credit seized!

Is that the one with Rene Zelleweger and Ewan McGregor that's a spoof of Doris Day/Rock Hudson movies? I haven't seen it (I'm not a big RZ fan, to be honest), but if you say it's that great I'll take your word for it and get it from the library!

As for my favorite: "One Good Date"--that's the name, right? The one where Spike and Dru go to Disneyland? PERFECTION. The mere idea of Dru at Disney makes me flail with joy, but the execution was brilliant, too. And Spike sort of just going with it because she wants to, but then enjoying himself? And Dru being adorable and clairvoyant? I love the way you write those two!

OMG - that is so 50's/60's/early 70's!! Hard to believe. I'm referring, of course to the film stuff. My hair isn't curly enough to know anything about how to deal. It just wrinkles up in odd ways occasionally. :)

And, yeah, if you've got time. I'll go for the meme.

It's amazing how we haven't really made all that much progress in some areas, isn't it?

I'm gratified for you that you don't know the horrors of figuring out how to deal with curls. *sigh*

I always have time!

I know I've said it before, but the one that just HIT me is "Frail." Because it's not a scenario I see very often, but it just works for these two. And it's beautfiul and heartbreaking and I love it.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. I really like it, but I feel like hardly anyone noticed it come and go. :)

I know it's redundant, but... feed me?

ETA: Remind me to tell you sometime about my adventures in not washing my hair.

Edited 2010-03-31 19:40 (UTC)

Of course!

This is really hard for me. Because I'm mad about both of your Yuletide fics this year--I know you weren't happy with the main one, but I loved it. Your style fit the fandom just perfectly, and it was happy and warm. And the crossover one with FF was just crazy awesome with your River voice. Ah!

And I've recently fallen in love with "Children's Tales" because Spike&Dawn and Daddy!Spike in the same fic makes me flail with joy. OH I LOVE IT.

But I do have to go with "Seraph" because you know you hit all my kinks--gender-bending and Spike&Dawn and Spike&Buffy friendship and BABYFIC YES I LOVE IT. I think my favorite chapter might be 20, with the knife-throwing and Dawn realizing this is all bigger and darker than she thought, and she's kind of out of her depth but they still can't deny how much they mean to each other.

This is the part that sums it all up for me:

“I do hate you,” she said softly. She kept her eyes off his face; she didn’t want to watch it break. “I hate you, because...” Sniffle. Crap, why was she always crying in front of him? “Because you killed that guy and you don’t even care, and you killed all those other people, too. Like... thousands of them?”

“Close enough,” he said.

“And you don’t care about them, either, and you’re evil, just like everyone says, and...” She scowled with hot, stinging eyes out at the lawn. “And you’re still my best friend.”

Love. It.

Tell me any time you wish!

Awwww. Thank you for the warm fuzzies! I gotta say, it's especially cool to get bits of writing quoted back to me. And YAY BABYFIC. (Somehow it feels more respectable liking babyfic when I've got a writer as good as you who agrees with me.)

And you know, I really didn't come into this fic thinking much about genderbending. Which sounds bizarre, I know, but what I was really thinking about was characterbending. I cared a lot more how the scenario affected Spike than how it affected Spike, Member of the Male Species. So what genderbending came out of it was just bonus as far as I'm concerned.

Thank you, thank you for the ego-feeding. :)

Oh, hair. Now that I think about it, it's not that much of a story: someone linked me to some Curly Girl-type websites, I did some research, and figured I'd trying going without shampoo for six weeks (the recommended trial period, IIRC). I just used natural-product conditioner. In theory my scalp was supposed to adjust eventually, but either I didn't go long enough or the adjustment wasn't noticeable. After four weeks of having my hair up all the time to disguise the fact that it just looked dirty, I went and gave it a real cleaning with real shampoo, and decided that by gosh I cared a lot more about clean than I did about healthy. I have now made peace with whatever supposedly harmful products are in most shampoos; I simply don't care.

(And, speaking of hair: Anya's hair is curly for the wedding! And it's so pretty, and it matches the ruffles in her veil! Also, Hallie's hair is always curly.)

YAY WARM FUZZIES!

I felt like it would be redundant for me to just say, "Yeah, I love 'Seraph' a whole lot." Like, you knew that already!

(Somehow it feels more respectable liking babyfic when I've got a writer as good as you who agrees with me.) I feel exactly the same way!

It's weird: I'm very specific about what kind of genderbending I relate to. And for some reason, Spike is like the ultimate gender-bend character for me: I see Buffy proposing to him, and him being more of the hands-on parent, and her taking charge in most areas of their lives...etc.

I cared a lot more how the scenario affected Spike than how it affected Spike, Member of the Male Species. And that's why it worked so well. Seriously. If you'd been trying to make some sort of statement on gender or whatever, it wouldn't have worked nearly as well as it did. You were caring about how Spike related to it specifically. And that's awesome.

ME, TOO. No, seriously: I had the exact same experience with the no-shampoo thing. I did it for about a month, and every day: grease. And finally my mama said, "This isn't working. It's ridiculous. Go wash your hair--and use shampoo." And so I did! No regrets!

If I have kids, however, and they inherit my curls, I won't start using shampoo on them ever, and so they won't have the same issues. *nods*

(ANYA! I love her wedding hair! And Hallie's hair is pretty awesome.)

Interesting (and by that I mean depressing) links.

Also? I is attenshun hoor. HI!

Yeah. Depressing is right. *sigh*

I feel like with your fics, it's all about the angst. The two that immediately come to mind are "Ebbing of the Tide" because it's not something that would have occurred to me, but losing their memories of Dawn just makes sense, and you sell it with angst and heartbreaking and wonderful things.

The other one I love is "He Will Come for Me" because you totally inverted the common Spuffy trope, and you didn't give us a happy ending, and it's just fantastic. The idea that you can sit and wait and things will work out for you is an idea I buy into a little too much in my life (I'm much more of a passive person than I should be), so seeing it not play out that way at all was really powerful. Plus, it took ~~balls~~ovaries to write that. Go you!

Haha, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you and Emmie chose the same two fics. :)

The idea that you can sit and wait and things will work out for you is an idea I buy into a little too much in my life (I'm much more of a passive person than I should be)

Huh. I don't think I'd thought about the real-life implications like that. I guess because I'm not one to expect happy endings - I am rather passive, too, but it comes from being cynical and assuming things will never work out the way I want, no matter what I do. Which clearly influences my writing a LOT, lol.

Anyway, thanks so much for the kind words!

Haha! I am amused by this fact as well, but not surprised!

I guess because I'm not one to expect happy endings - I am rather passive, too, but it comes from being cynical and assuming things will never work out the way I want, no matter what I do. It's weird: I expect things to work themselves out for me, because up until the past year, they have. So I expect them to continue to.

But! I'm really cynical about other things. Huh.

Hey, I love your angst! Keep letting it influence you! ;)

You're welcome!

I expect things to work themselves out for me, because up until the past year, they have. So I expect them to continue to.

Well, that makes sense. I expect things not to work out (at least where my love life is concerned) because thus far, they haven't. I am decidedly more upbeat about other things (like work and school) where I've had more success.

I've never really had a love life, so I can't say if I'd be the same way with that. But I certainly am with school and such. And just in general. *ponders*

I tend to think of happy endings mainly with respect to romance. Not that there aren't other kinds, but at least in fic, that's what most people seem to focus on. Like, Buffy could have the awesomest string of good luck and have everything in the world going for her, but if she's not with Spike, people will be like, "Aww, why no happy ending?"

So I tend to say that I'm very cynical about happy endings, even though I'm only really cynical about one thing. :-P

Ha! Oh, okay. I was applying it to larger context, but you're right about fic and happy endings = romance.

It all becomes clear!

Me?

Of course!

I was going to say "Poetry" because it just hits all of my kinks--all dialogue (well, you know what I mean), Buffy-not-getting-it, then finally-getting-it. Poetry! S7! Everyone being goofy! Andrew! Etc.!

But.

I just reread "Nothing Special," and I'm going to have to go with that one. Angsty!Buffy! (Whenever she's sad, I want to wrap her up in blankets and give her chocolate and Spike to make her feel better.) S7! And most important of all: Buffy&Dawn sisterhood. I love it.

I'll say it again: it made me cry.

Ooh, ooh! I'm curious what fic of mine you like the most. :]

And geesh, just in case I don't say it enough, I love having you on my f-list. Seriously. You're always linking me to the most interesting/infuriating/thought-provoking stuff, and I love your feminism. Both of these articles were great; I cannot even count the number of times I have complained to anyone who will listen about how screwed-up Hollywood is about women. The trash they market to us is insulting enough (I mean, we get, what, maybe three movies annually about weddings?), but the fact that they can't even put women on screen without having them discuss a man is even worse. It's true--even some of the movies I most love involve women only talking to each other about men (in a chick flick, I believe this is also interchangeable with babies, fashion, weddings, and periods). And it makes me angry and sad, because I've considered screenwriting as a profession, and this just tells me I don't have what it takes for Hollywood. I would be tearing my hair out. I'd never sell a script because I'd refuse to compromise. I'd probably run my mouth off (and it takes a lot to get me to do that), get fired a lot, and end up angry and bitter and shaking my fist at the world.

I agree a lot with the second article, too: it's laziness and greed driving these people to refuse change. They have a formula that works; why bother to change and risk losing money? After all, people shell out for this crap--it works! The reason people pay for it is because they don't have any other options! I mean, when I'm faced with Generic Chick Flick, Generic Action Film, and Generic Gross-Out Comedy, I have to be honest: I'll pick the chick flick, because it's the one I'm most likely to not absolutely hate.

Also, omg, the curly hair thing! Yes! I was nodding right along. Since I was about thirteen and started noticing my hair didn't really fit the "traditional" pretty ideal, I've struggled with it. I've had almost everyone I know advise me to permanently straighten it (tried it; didn't work), and I've tried every de-frizzing, straightening product known to man. Hair dressers and random passerby alike tell me about my "ethnic" hair, or my "difficult" hair and I guess after years of that, I just started to believe it was ugly and there was something wrong with me.

Lately, I've realized the truth. I have beautiful, thick, crazy, curly Cuban hair, and it's not going anywhere. I need to embrace it, not try to tame it. Straightening it every once in awhile is nice, but 99% of the time, my hair is going to be itself.

I didn't know that shampooing curly hair might be bad for it! What? I need to look into that, lol.

ANYWAY. I've rambled far long enough, but again, thanks for the links! I requested to join

ontd_feminism, and now I feel like going out and (loudly) protesting some stuff. :D

Strangely, I think my favorite fic of yours is "It Conquers." And I say strangely because it's Draco-centric, and Snape-centric, and Snape/Lily-ish, and none of those things appeal to me at all. But you managed to trick me into enjoying myself with the Ron/Hermione (SEEN THROUGH OTHER EYES MY FAVORITE THING EVER), and then once I was under its spell, the rest of the story turned out to be fantastic. Yay for unexpected awesomeness!

Aw! You're so awesome! I love having you on my flist as well!

And it makes me angry and sad, because I've considered screenwriting as a profession, and this just tells me I don't have what it takes for Hollywood. I would be tearing my hair out. I'd never sell a script because I'd refuse to compromise. I'd probably run my mouth off (and it takes a lot to get me to do that), get fired a lot, and end up angry and bitter and shaking my fist at the world.

I am so with you on that. It's why I'm going to focus on novels--there's a lot more room for a woman to maneuver with those. Maybe you should shift your dream to TV? There's a whole lot more awesome women talking about things other than men on TV.

ONE DAY YOU AND I WILL WRITE TV TOGETHER. I have just decided that this will be a fact.

I am so looking forward to posting my post about Lauren's Epic Relationship with Her Hair because we can commisserate! (I don't have spellcheck on; I bet I spelled that wrong.) CURLY HAIRED SOLIDARITY, SISTER.

I have beautiful, thick, crazy, curly Cuban hair, and it's not going anywhere. I need to embrace it, not try to tame it. Straightening it every once in awhile is nice, but 99% of the time, my hair is going to be itself.
YES. Mine isn't quite as thick as yours, I don't think, and it's not Cuban. ;D But I reached this realization, too, and it really was empowering to give up the struggle. Not saying I don't continue to look for a product that will turn my curls silky and smooth--I do. But I've learned to stop battling it.

I didn't know that shampooing curly hair might be bad for it! What? I need to look into that, lol. You should! The book Curly Girl is really invaluable. I do have to shampoo mine a couple of times a week, but not as often as I thought, and I know a lot of people who have cut it out entirely. You should look into it; it might help you!

You're welcome! And ramble here any time you want! And sometime when you go out protesting...I'll join you!

Ooo. I haven't seen this meme around. (But that's probably because I've been absent on livejournal for a while now. Heh.)

Huh. I'll have to read that flimmaker thing later

You have been gone for a bit! I'm glad to see you again!

I think my favorite is "Morning Routine." Because there's nothing I like better than a good post-NFA fic, unless, of course, it's a domestic NFA fic in which they've worked through their issues and are being all mature and awesome, but not ignoring their past. I think that's my favorite thing about it: that they still don't take showers together because the past is still there, even if they've managed to move forward. A lesser fic would be about how they learned to move past it and now they have showers all the time together and just don't care. But you're better than that, and you realize there are some things that leave a scar.

Plus: it hits my kinks!

I... doubt you'll have read anything of mine, but it's still possible. It's cool if you haven't ('cause I'm ridiculously obscure). I'll link you at something while here, anyway - I'll link you to True Love (http://hyperemmalawlz.livejournal.com/34779.html) (which I'm not sure is my "must read" but I feel it gives a general sample of my fic).

I have not! But a link to a VMars fic! How exciting! I haven't read any VM fic in a while, but I always enjoy revisiting that fandom. Thanks for the link--I'll check it out!

I feel like this meme is too awesome to be real, and somehow, I shouldn't trust it. And yet! COMMENTING.

Haha! I know what you mean!

But you can't POSSIBLY ask me to answer this! Do you realize how many of your fics I have on my favorites list at ff.net? How can I chooooose?

I adore "Lamentations," of course, because it remains the funniest fic I've ever read. It's so, so ridiculous and wonderful in every way, and I will never get over it. The fact that I still love it despite my insanely big embarrassment squick just proves its fabulosity.

And I also love "and that was called love" because who knew that I wanted Marie Antoinette fic? I sure didn't! But you did, apparently!

It makes me love my straight hair. :)

As well you should!

I can't possibly begin to choose my favourite fic of yours, but Playthings, man. Never not amazing and breathtaking.

YOU ARE SO GREAT.

I LOVE THAT YOU LOVED THAT FIC.

And I seriously could not tell you what my favorite thing you've written is. It all makes me want to die of happiness and perfection. Every. Single. Word. you write just leaves me breathless. YOU ARE AWESOME.

I'm spamming y'all like crazy lately, aren't I?

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IMMA DO THIS MEME IN REVERSE

Re: IMMA DO THIS MEME IN REVERSE