![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Infinitize You
Hello friends and enemies! This ridiculous post is for the new Kpop fans, who want to get to know some of the greatest idols of the 2nd generation. It’s 2020 and what better way for me to cope with the current state of the world than to try to get you to stan these seven talented idiots?
(x) hello handsome! (yes, i’m talking to you!)
Infinite is a formerly seven-member, currently six-member male idol group under the label Woollim Entertainment. They debuted June 7, 2010, and are known for their distinctive dark pop sound and their mindblowingly awesome 99.9% synchronized knife-like dancing. TEN YEARS OF EXCELLENCE.
(x) look at these infants!
It’s important to note that Woollim was a small company that had never had an idol group before and so Infinite were definitely underdogs—the odds are stacked against any group that doesn’t have a huge and powerful company and lots of money behind them. In fact, they were going to disband if “Be Mine” wasn’t a hit (because their CEO had SOLD HIS HOUSE to fund them), but thankfully it was. There was a lot of speculation that they wouldn’t succeed.
(x) the chaser is the greatest male kpop song of all time
BUT THEY DID BECAUSE THEY’RE THE BEST. They’re legendary for being intense, passionate performers onstage and giant lovable dorks offstage. When their every move isn’t choreographed, these imbeciles are a giant chaotic mess. Variety-dols, trend-dols, stalker-dols, part-time comedians, full-time sweethearts.
(x) no really, the chaser is just so so so so good
Since they debuted, Hoya left the group to go it on his own (we’re happy for him and rooting for him, but we also miss him terribly and will never recover from the heartbreak), three more of them have launched solo side careers (Sunggyu, Woohyun, Dongwoo), one had a special unit with another group (Woohyun was in ToHeart with Shinee’s Key), most of them have acted in various things (with Sungyeol and especially Myungsoo having the most roles), and the band has gone on two exciting if messily-organized world tours, debuted sub-units (Infinite H made up of Dongwoo and Hoya and Infinite F made up of maknae line), published photobooks (Myungsoo), briefly worked with Tom Cruise (don’t ask), been radio hosts/DJs/MCs (Sungjong), appeared on any number of variety shows (especially Weekly Idol, with which they have a special relationship), acted in musicals, done a million other things, embarrassed themselves a zillion times, and become legends in the industry.
(x) this is not played backwards; they’re actually pulling themselves up that way
Since all South Korean men have to serve in the military for a time, that has obviously affected them. Sunggyu has finished his service, Myungsoo hasn’t started his yet (JUST GO SO THIS NIGHTMARE CAN BE OVER), and the other five are currently serving. Sungyeol, Dongwoo, and Hoya will be discharged at the end of 2020, and Sungjong and Woohyun won’t get out until mid 2021. Who the hell knows when Myungsoo will go and when he will return from the war.
Their golden era (probably ~2011 to 2015) has passed, but they produced so much excellent music, raised the bar in choreography (especially regarding synchronization), were the darlings slash kings of variety shows for years, and have a lasting legacy. We may or may not ever see them promote as a group again, but even if you’re just coming to them now, they are totally worth your time.
(x) nothing in life is perfect, but infinite comes pretty damn close
Their variety shows so you can get to know them: You’re My Oppa, Sesame Player, Japan Story, the Birth of a Family, Ranking King, This Is Infinite
Alternately, just search for “Infinite Weekly Idol” and let the good times roll.
Their music videos (including Japanese releases, solo releases and subunits) are here. If you’re just wanting to check out a few, I recommend going with their best dance mvs: BTD, Be Mine, The Chaser, The Eye, and then the mvs for Man in Love, Back, and That Summer. Also, all of their dance practice videos will blow your mind.
And have a playlist of some of my very favorite B-sides. They have some of the best B-sides in the business.
As for Infinite fans, we’re called Inspirits and we love nothing more than teasing and making fun of the members, but we all adore them and are grateful for their hard work, dedication, humility, sincerity, and love.
Now, are you ready to meet the boys men? Let me warn you: every single one of them is ridiculous, every single one of them is embarrassing, every single one of them is lovable.
Here we go!
---
(x) okay just be that way
This is Kim Sunggyu, vocal king and inexplicable sexgod leader squish - April 28 1989
Leader, main vocal, variety show punching bag. He’s Tha Boss until they get in front of a camera and then he gets tortured. But he’s so good at being tortured!
He likes: Nell, singing, laying around doing nothing to the point where he has to go to the doctor for back pain, being an ass, being an excellent leader, being hilariously scared of little puppies and then falling in love with them, eyeliner, doing obscene things to microphone stands, acting in musicals, being a brand junkie, being a little shit, being unexpectedly fantastic at variety shows, dad jokes, striking out on his own to become an idol against his parents’ wishes, songwriting, denying the fact that he has any aegyo when in actuality he has more than anyone else in the band, and making you fall for him even if you don’t want to.
Things we (lovingly) make fun of him for: being an old man, his lisp, being lazy, being a loser, his tiny eyes, looking like a hamster, friendzoning his own fans, It’s Your Song Why Can’t You Dance It?, just general incompetence.
Looks amazing in drag? Not so much
Husband to: Woohyun, Dongwoo
Boyfriend to: Myungsoo, probably literally Bora at one point (I really do think they dated), Not Eunji
Bros with: Hoya, Heechul, a bunch of hyungs
It’s Complicated with: Sungyeol, Sungjong
His life story will make you cry and then cry some more when you realize how much he’s accomplished. Inexplicably hot and stupidly musically talented. His solo stuff is uniformly good, and I really recommend it. He’s the one who’s going to have the longest-lasting music career, so educate yourself.
Hot Gyu:
(x) rudeness!
Cute Gyu:
(x) squishiest marshmallow hamster! (help me find the source?)
---
(x) ANGELFACE
This is Jang Dongwoo, 4D laughing cotton candy angel slash performance sex god - November 22 1990
Main rapper, dancer, mom friend, happy pill, butt connoisseur.
He likes: dancing, laughing, writing all his own raps, being too emotionally intuitive for words, biting, touching, grabbing people’s butts, Fly to the Sky, Ailee-noona, flipping on a dime from being super sexy to super cute and then back again, accessories, airport fashion that’s totally ridiculous but that he somehow pulls off, Chinese herbal medicine, being an uncle, carrying around random things in his bag, toys, acting in musicals, and being the kindest person on the planet.
Things we (lovingly) make fun of him for: the fact that most of what he says makes zero sense and doesn’t seem to be in any human language, the way he mangles proverbs, his butt obsession, his perpetual thirst, how he looks like a dinosaur, that he’s either really stupid or a total genius, being super super super weird.
Looks amazing in drag? You will want Dragwoo to be your girlfriend
Boyfriend to: Woohyun, Ailee (at least in his dreams, I have no idea if they actually dated, but he DEFINITELY had a crush on her)
Husband to: Sunggyu, Woohyun (yes, I know I said he was also Woohyun’s boyfriend, but he’s BOTH, okay?)
Always trying to stay far away from lips belonging to: Myungsoo
Bros with: Hoya, Xiumin
Ridiculously talented at dancing, rapping, AND singing (he’s always and forever Infinite’s Hidden Vocalist). Definitely the sweetest, most wonderful person who ever existed and even if you start out being all “Huh?” about him, as many people do, he will win you over so completely you won’t be able to remember what life was like before you fell for him.
Hot Woo:
(x) have mercy!
Cute Woo:
(x) DARLING
---
(x) here comes the king of hearts
This is Nam Woohyun, totally sincere grease master with a heart big enough to satisfy all the fans - February 8 1991
Main vocals, second-in-command, heart-thrower, abs-flasher.
He likes: cooking, people pleasing, belting his heart out, hanging out with 91 line, losing more weight than he should, performing for the female gaze, working out too much to make his body what he thinks the fans want, Stevie Wonder (he has such good taste!), crying whenever Infinite wins anything or has a concert, ballads, acting on tv (badly), acting in musicals (probably well, idk), songwriting, teasing his bandmates (especially poor Sungjong), calling Inspirits his girlfriends and proposing marriage to them.
Things we (lovingly) make fun of him for: being the greasiest guy in kpop, his cringe-inducing aegyo,the way he’s always starting shit, being extra, being a crybaby, his predebut modeling career, his mugging, all the times when he looks like he’s twelve, how much he talks (seriously someone shut this kid up), NAM LATIN. Also we’ve started a buy-Woohyun-a-pole fund so that he can practice his pole dancing.
Looks amazing in drag? Uhhhh....
Boyfriend to: Dongwoo, Sungyeol
Husband to: Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Key
Bros with: Hoya, 91 line, Jaejoong, Myungsoo (in a soft bros kind of way)
It’s Complicated with: Sungjong (they invented the Tom and Jerry dynamic)
His friends will all tell you (and have, frequently) that the more you get to know him, the more you will love him. He’s known as Namtrainer because he turns even his antis into fans. If you can keep from loving him, you’ll be the first. Actual sweetie pie ridiculous wonderfulness.
Hot Hyunnie:
(x) help!
Cute Hyunnie:
(x) greasy tree is greasy
---
(x) he may have left the group, but he’s still vital to what infinite is and always has been
This is Lee Howon (Hoya), quadruple threat, slytherin prince, and alleged manly man - March 28 1991
(former) Main dancer, rapper, vocalist, actor, provider of reactions, one-man hype machine for Sungjong.
He likes: dancing, hip hop, making bitchfaces, being good at everything, writing all his own raps, proving he can become a respected idol even when his parents say he can’t, not taking his own manliness seriously, being sassy, acting, judging everyone, worshipping Sungjong, Usher, taekwondo, the color purple, knitting (yes, really, isn’t that hot?), Chris Brown (unfortunately), and making really bad and/or snarky jokes.
Things we (lovingly) make fun of him for: his undisguised worship of Sungjong, elephant school, his alleged manliness, what a baby he is, the skirt he wore in Destiny era (even though it was ludicrously hot, he still needs to be teased about it), his terrible jokes, the fact that he gets dragged by little kids, Hoho Ahjumma, being Infinite H’s cute maknae.
Looks amazing in drag? Hoho Ahjumma is not really our ideal woman
Manservant/bodyguard/sidekick/bff to: Sungjong
Boyfriend to: Seo In Guk
Bros with: Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Woohyun, Eunji, Choa
Sunggyu says the more you get to know Hoya, the more you realize he’s actually a baby, and Hoaegi is one of his nicknames. Others include Hogod and Hoass because he is nothing if not versatile. He may have left the group in 2017, but he can never leave our hearts.
Hot Hoya:
(x) his talent is the hottest thing about him
Cute Hoya:
(x) the most handsome smile ever
----
(x) meet your prince charming
This is Lee Sungyeol, prince, actor, catwalk model, and comic relief - August 27, 1991
Vocalist, variety show all-star, single-handedly raising the average Infinite member height index to a respectable level.
He likes: girls, being taller than everyone else in the group, acting (even if the roles he gets are rarely worthy of him, acting is his first love), being loud and endearing, coffee (or at least he did until he drank so much of it that he STARTED HAVING HEART PROBLEMS), Taeyeon, looking amazing no matter what he wears, tonkatsu, charity work, putting himself down, constantly getting sick and/or injured, his naked cat, being the most honest person on the planet, and more girls.
Things we (lovingly) make fun of him for: the way his voice cracks, his noodle limbs, his romantic desperation, his animal impressions, his porn habit, how he keeps doing drag and then regretting it, his dolphin screams, the Pick Me dance, how excited he was to be leader of Infinite F, that time he wore a bathrobe to the airport.
Looks amazing in drag? And how.
Boyfriend to: Myungsoo, Woohyun
Bros with: Sungjong, Niel, Raina, Ailee, most of b1a4 and Teen Top
It’s complicated with: Sunggyu (theirs is a red oni blue oni dynamic)
Brings joy and fun to everything he does and provides Infinite with some much-needed levity as well as height. If you rag on him for his singing, I will FIGHT you and I will win. He struggles with insecurities, but he’s genuinely wonderful and we adore him. One of the great mysteries of the universe is why he doesn’t have a lucrative modeling career.
Hot Yeol:
(x) we can hear you, yeollie! (help me find the source?)
Cute Yeol:
(x) gummy smile!
---
(x) congratulations on your face. (and your thighs. and your ass. and your adam’s apple. and everything else.)
This is Kim Myungsoo (L), adorable kitten menboong baby alien serial killer extraordinaire - March 13 1992
Vocalist and Visual, which means that his job is literally to show up and look pretty, but works damn hard to make sure he’s more than that. Definitely the most famous and the Face of the group.
He likes: photography, cuddling, food, romance mangas, sleeping, obsessing over things, the color black, being a klutz, Japanese, being completely ignorant of what to do with his face (this kid and his EXPRESSIONS), cats, staring like a serial killer, playing guitar, zoning out, being a skinship whore, being a giant weirdo, staring worshipfully at the other members, acting (sometimes badly, sometimes well), being bizarrely competent when it comes to things like carpentry, laughing too hard at things that aren’t that funny, and cuddling.
Things we (lovingly) make fun of him for: every aspect of his entire existence??? Highlights include: his entirely black wardrobe, his constant mental breakdowns, his nunchucks, his lack of hygiene, his inability to keep up the L-cosplay for more than five minutes, the fact that he wants to get married and have fifty kids, falling on his butt onstage, and his lack of control over his own face.
Looks amazing in drag? He wishes
Boyfriend to: Sungyeol, Sunggyu, not Krystal
Desperately wants to be boyfriend to: Sungjong, Dongwoo (seriously this kid has been trying to kiss Dongwoo since debut and Dongwoo will have none of it it’s almost sad but instead it’s just hilarious)
Bros with: Minhwan, Daniel from DMTN, Lizzy
Is pretty much a twelve-year-old girl stuck in an idol’s body. He only gets weirder as you get to know him, but it’s the most endearing kind of weird imaginable. Definitely the cutest person on the planet, but he can be unsettling because he’s intense and tends to zone out. He has a pure heart that’s even more beautiful than his face.
Hot Soo:
(x) original visual
Cute Soo:
(x) cute, cute, extremely cute
---
(x) never has “maknae on top” been more appropriate
This is Lee Sungjong, stone-cold badass, gorgeous gender-fuck, magical boy, adorable maknae, and our future overlord - September 3 1993
Maknae, vocalist, the only one in the band with any damn dignity (though he sometimes sacrifices it in the cutest ways ever), and the possessor of Infinite’s single brain cell.
He likes: making all the friends, being smarter and more mature than all of his hyungs combined, swimming, reading far beyond his grade level, horror movies, Christianity, having an S-line, suddenly disarming you with cuteness, stuffed animals, real animals, judging his hyungs, plotting his revenge against his hyungs for mercilessly teasing him, yelling at his hyungs in banmal when he gets pushed too far, doing girl group dances, having a 24-inch waist, troubling gender in the best ways, and being better than everyone else who ever existed.
Things we his hyungs (lovingly) make fun of him for: lemon candy forever. The fans know that it makes more sense to worship Sungjong than to mock him, but his hyungs tease him about everything constantly. (LET HIM LIVE.) Even though they also unanimously agree that he’s the sexiest in the group.
Looks amazing in drag? Could join a girl group tomorrow as their visual
Boyfriend to: Lee Sungjong does not have boyfriends. Only minions. Lets Myungsoo pretend to be his boyfriend, though, because Our Future Overlord is as benevolent as he is beautiful
Master/bff to: Hoya
Bros with: Sungyeol, all the ladies in kpop, and half of the guys. Highlights include Amber, Luna, Seohyun, Dasom, and Kahi
It’s complicated with: Woohyun, Sunggyu
Probably a demi-god who sprang fully-formed from the head of Zeus, there’s no other explanation for his existence. I maintain that his cover of “Adult Ceremony” is the greatest work of art that kpop has yet produced. I seriously can’t say one thing about him that doesn’t sound like fawning overstatement BUT IT’S NOT OVERSTATEMENT IT’S ALL TRUE.
Hot Jjong:
(x) bow before our future overlord
Cute Jjong:
(x) the planet’s cutest organism
---
In addition to having the most beautiful maknae line in (male) kpop, the most talented rapper/dancer line in (male) kpop, and a vocal line that will make you weep tears of blood, they also have the best all-group dynamic ever. This OT6 OT7 is well worth stanning, no?
(x)(x) Infinite thanks you for your time and consideration.
no subject
But also in general, I really support squee on DW! If more of us did it, maybe more other people would do it, too...
(no subject)
no subject
the only criticism I can think of is that the Hot Soo gif should've been from that photo shoot with the pink-tipped hair.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)