The commentary that I've been reading about Xander in regards to slut-shamming has felt ironic. Because I do remember the public non-character specific voy boards in 2002-2003, the Spike Wars - specifically between Xander and Spike fans, and Spike was considered the misogynistic character. Many of the derogatory comments that I've been reading about Xander? Xander fans applied to Spike. Xander - was considered the "beta" male, the true friend. Many people saw Xander as sort of a human version of Angel in some respects, with similar issues. So seeing the opposite...is a bit entertaining. I keep waiting for the Xander fans to come out of the woodwork and scream foul.
I think if you look at the whole series in context? Xander's sexism is realistically dealt with. Notably? Caleb, the biggest slut-shamer of them all (hello, his spiel about 'dirty girls') plucks Xander's eye out. It's no accident that it is Caleb who plucks out Xander's eye and wounds him. Xander who has always leered...Nice metaphor that.
Also, various episodes leading up to that - show us why Xander is the way he is. We get Amends (Xander is sleeping outside to avoid his parents arguing), Restless (Xander's nightmare - where he becomes literally his father - a domestic abuser, who beat Xander's mother and verbally abused her), leading up to finally - Hell's Bells when he leaves Anya at the alter, and say's it's not you, it's me. In his nightmare - he saw himself as his father. The abusive, slut-shaming, guy. And if you look at Xander's relationships with Buffy's beaux - you see the examination there as well, and in a way the writers own commentary on his own issues - Xander resents and is wildly jealous of Angel (who in some respects is very much like Xander - Pack Xander is a bit like Angelus in his cruelty), Xander doesn't take Spike all that seriously and they have an odd insulting relationship - Spike is the classic Momma's Boy in Xander's view which of course Xander is too - he's defended Mom against Dad his entire life, and Riley is of course the guy Xander wishes he was. (Is it really that surprising that Buffy's relationship with Riley is the only one Xander approves of? From Xander's perspective, Riley is Mr. Perfect, Mr. Right.) Xander is your typical "fanboy", the "comic book fan geek".
And he was very complex. He could boost Buffy up one moment, tear her down the next. But the slut-shaming? It made sense considering this is a guy who spent most of his life hiding outside or in the basement to avoide his father yelling at his mother and demeaning her. The show does an excellent job of showing the long-term affects of prolonged exposure to domestic violence and a culture that inadvertently condones it.
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I think if you look at the whole series in context? Xander's sexism is realistically dealt with. Notably? Caleb, the biggest slut-shamer of them all (hello, his spiel about 'dirty girls')
plucks Xander's eye out. It's no accident that it is Caleb who plucks out Xander's eye and wounds him. Xander who has always leered...Nice metaphor that.
Also, various episodes leading up to that - show us why Xander is the way he is. We get Amends (Xander is sleeping outside to avoid his parents arguing), Restless (Xander's nightmare - where he becomes literally his father - a domestic abuser, who beat Xander's mother and verbally abused her), leading up to finally - Hell's Bells when he leaves Anya at the alter, and say's it's not you, it's me. In his nightmare - he saw himself as his father.
The abusive, slut-shaming, guy. And if you look at Xander's relationships with Buffy's beaux - you see the examination there as well, and in a way the writers own commentary on his own issues - Xander resents and is wildly jealous of Angel (who in some respects is very much like Xander - Pack Xander is a bit like Angelus in his cruelty), Xander doesn't take Spike all that seriously and they have an odd insulting relationship - Spike is the classic Momma's Boy in Xander's view which of course Xander is too - he's defended Mom against Dad his entire life, and Riley is of course the guy Xander wishes he was. (Is it really that surprising that Buffy's relationship with Riley is the only one Xander approves of? From Xander's perspective, Riley is Mr. Perfect, Mr. Right.) Xander is your typical "fanboy", the "comic book fan geek".
And he was very complex. He could boost Buffy up one moment, tear her down the next. But the slut-shaming? It made sense considering this is a guy who spent most of his life hiding outside or in the basement to avoide his father yelling at his mother and demeaning her. The show does an excellent job of showing the long-term affects of prolonged exposure to domestic violence and a culture that inadvertently condones it.