Yes exactly -- and so much word to Selfless. And yes, the show gives us a somewhat self-righteous Xander who is constantly undermined. Willow criticizing Xander for dating Cordelia as a mirror of him criticizing Buffy for dating Angel is a great detail, especially because there is another buried parallel (that Xander has been somewhat bullied by Angel, at least in School Hard where Angel isn't forthcoming about his "plan" that could result in Spike killing Xander, just as Willow was bullied by Cordelia in the past). Teacher's Pet has Xander especially playing the damsel role, too.