I agree that it's really neat in some ways that the writers so accurately depicted a Nice Guy like Xander, but I think they largely failed in showing how his behaviors were wrong because (a) he's never "punished" for his behavior (the way you could argue that Willow is "punished" for her misuse of magic through Tara's death or how Buffy is "punished" for enjoying casual/violent sex through the AR- note, not at all condoning those "punishments," because they're abhorrent things for the writers to have purposefully done, but I do think "punishment" is a legit reading of those events and it's interesting that Xander is not similarly "punished" after "Hell's Bells"- no, he gets to be the freaking hero and stops the Evil Lesbian Witch!)
Ugh, I hate the idea that Buffy was punished or needed to be punished for enjoying sex with Spike - you'd almost make me hate my favorite season if I believed that. There was a lot of wrong with the Buffy/Spike relationship in season 6 - all the mutual abuse, the fact that they were never even able to define and agree on their relationship, what they wanted out of it and if both of them even wanted to be in it, and the many dubious consent moments and lack of boundaries throughout, which finally lead to the AR. But there was nothing wrong with sex itself or with what kind of sex it was or with Buffy enjoying sex.
I also hate the idea of Willow being "punished" by having Tara killed - which doesn't even make sense, since the murder of Tara had nothing to do with Willow's abuse of magic, and Tara is not an inanimate object whose only purpose is to be used against Willow.
Also, one could say that Xander was punished for leaving Anya at the altar - by Anya sleeping with Spike and Xander watching it, by Anya becoming a demon again, and by Anya not wanting to get back with him. It makes more sense than saying that Willow was punished for abusing magic, since all those things - Anya becoming a demon, Anya sleeping with Spike, and Anya never actually getting back with Xander, were all direct consequences of Xander leaving Anya at the altar.
Xander didn't get to stop Willow because he was being such a great guy in season 6 - he's a jerk through most of it - but because he finally turned his jerkass behavior around and offered Willow something he wasn't able to offer Anya or Buffy or Willow herself or anyone through most of the season - unconditional love and understanding, which was a complete opposite of his judgmental and shaming behavior in Entropy and Seeing Red.
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Ugh, I hate the idea that Buffy was punished or needed to be punished for enjoying sex with Spike - you'd almost make me hate my favorite season if I believed that. There was a lot of wrong with the Buffy/Spike relationship in season 6 - all the mutual abuse, the fact that they were never even able to define and agree on their relationship, what they wanted out of it and if both of them even wanted to be in it, and the many dubious consent moments and lack of boundaries throughout, which finally lead to the AR. But there was nothing wrong with sex itself or with what kind of sex it was or with Buffy enjoying sex.
I also hate the idea of Willow being "punished" by having Tara killed - which doesn't even make sense, since the murder of Tara had nothing to do with Willow's abuse of magic, and Tara is not an inanimate object whose only purpose is to be used against Willow.
Also, one could say that Xander was punished for leaving Anya at the altar - by Anya sleeping with Spike and Xander watching it, by Anya becoming a demon again, and by Anya not wanting to get back with him. It makes more sense than saying that Willow was punished for abusing magic, since all those things - Anya becoming a demon, Anya sleeping with Spike, and Anya never actually getting back with Xander, were all direct consequences of Xander leaving Anya at the altar.
Xander didn't get to stop Willow because he was being such a great guy in season 6 - he's a jerk through most of it - but because he finally turned his jerkass behavior around and offered Willow something he wasn't able to offer Anya or Buffy or Willow herself or anyone through most of the season - unconditional love and understanding, which was a complete opposite of his judgmental and shaming behavior in Entropy and Seeing Red.