I still think he's a realistic and even necessary kind of character, even though they could have done a MUCH BETTER JOB in questioning a lot of his behavior within the context of the show.
That was always my biggest issue with his character. Xander just personifies the "nice guy" that the show couldhave done an awesome job of deconstructing. Even before Caleb and Warren, the high school years gave us Larry learing "thank you thigh master" and looking up a girls skirt to give you the more extreme example of what a sexist creep some guys can be, yet the show never called Xander on his jokes to his friend Buffy about how he would love a lapdance from her (BBAB) or trying to peek at her changing (NKABOTFD). Instead it's practically presented as some cute guys will be guys moment, even though Xander was doing the exact same thing that the show happily called jocks like Larry out for doing, and if anything it was even worse coming from Xander when he knew Buffy as his friend and was still sneaking peeks in a mirror when she trusted him in her bedroom
Nor did the show call him on his insults to Cordelia, instead they were generally presented from Xander's POV as though he were delivering an Oh Snap moment to the girl that was mean to them, but there were plenty of other insults he could have brought up other than "marketing hooker wear", "locker-room talk" and so on. Not to mention in Phases when he's fretting over Willow/Oz and how guys in bands are only after one thing, Cordelia scoffs that she's dated plenty of guys in bands (with the implication that you're making too big a deal out of this/they're not like you see them at all), and Xander responds "thank you" in all seriousness as if she's proving his point that guys in bands are only after one thing and that's why many of them have have dated a girl like Cordelia. At least I don't know how else we were supposed to take that little exchange?!? It wasn't even one of Xander's planned zingers meant to hurt her, it just came across so casual like that's actually how he sees Cordelia and he has no respect for her at all. So gross
LOL Sorry, this turned into way too much of a rant, but yeah that was my issue when the show wanted to presented Xander as some kind of role model to the guys in the audience (or so Joss has apparently said?), and the writers seemed to seriously believe he was some great friend to Buffy. Yeah he might have had her back when it counted, but he constantly judged her personal life and and acted like a really crappy friend while the show seemed to think we would take the exact opposite impression away from moments like the Into The Woods speech or Seeing Red reconciliation scene, as if we were meant to take it as sweet that he took such a creepy and invasive interest in Buffy's personal life
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That was always my biggest issue with his character. Xander just personifies the "nice guy" that the show couldhave done an awesome job of deconstructing. Even before Caleb and Warren, the high school years gave us Larry learing "thank you thigh master" and looking up a girls skirt to give you the more extreme example of what a sexist creep some guys can be, yet the show never called Xander on his jokes to his friend Buffy about how he would love a lapdance from her (BBAB) or trying to peek at her changing (NKABOTFD). Instead it's practically presented as some cute guys will be guys moment, even though Xander was doing the exact same thing that the show happily called jocks like Larry out for doing, and if anything it was even worse coming from Xander when he knew Buffy as his friend and was still sneaking peeks in a mirror when she trusted him in her bedroom
Nor did the show call him on his insults to Cordelia, instead they were generally presented from Xander's POV as though he were delivering an Oh Snap moment to the girl that was mean to them, but there were plenty of other insults he could have brought up other than "marketing hooker wear", "locker-room talk" and so on. Not to mention in Phases when he's fretting over Willow/Oz and how guys in bands are only after one thing, Cordelia scoffs that she's dated plenty of guys in bands (with the implication that you're making too big a deal out of this/they're not like you see them at all), and Xander responds "thank you" in all seriousness as if she's proving his point that guys in bands are only after one thing and that's why many of them have have dated a girl like Cordelia. At least I don't know how else we were supposed to take that little exchange?!? It wasn't even one of Xander's planned zingers meant to hurt her, it just came across so casual like that's actually how he sees Cordelia and he has no respect for her at all. So gross
LOL Sorry, this turned into way too much of a rant, but yeah that was my issue when the show wanted to presented Xander as some kind of role model to the guys in the audience (or so Joss has apparently said?), and the writers seemed to seriously believe he was some great friend to Buffy. Yeah he might have had her back when it counted, but he constantly judged her personal life and and acted like a really crappy friend while the show seemed to think we would take the exact opposite impression away from moments like the Into The Woods speech or Seeing Red reconciliation scene, as if we were meant to take it as sweet that he took such a creepy and invasive interest in Buffy's personal life