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A Whole Bunch of Very Jumbled Thoughts on "Deathly Hallows"
I'm all jumbled up inside, and I'm not sure how to sort out any of these emotions (wait. Wasn't I saying just that last night?). They're jostling each other terribly, but none of them are dominant.
Wow. That was ridiculously long. I guess I just needed to work out all my emotions on paper (so to say). I don't really expect anyone to read all that, but I can't wait to hear what other people think.
I don't know if I'm elated or disappointed about the book. Now, don't jump all over my back about the disappointment thing--there were things I simply adored, things that I couldn't have hoped for or imagined. So I'll talk about them first.
First of all, the pacing was fantastic. I wasn't even aware of how quickly things were moving--I never felt caught in a rush--but they just. Kept. Moving. Great job there, Jo.
Now, as to the most important things for me, in no particular order (besides the final confrontation scene, which I'll discuss at length later):
The Blacks: I adore the Black family. Lovelovelovelovelove them. I fangirl them something terrible, and so I had some very clear expectations of this book that others probably hadn't even thought about. Like most people, I was confident that R.A.B. was Regulus. Unlike a lot of people, perhaps, this thrilled me to death. Another Black to get to know! It's like a present from Jo to me! I took it for granted that he was really alive and would play a huge part in the book, and I was so very excited. On the flip side, I was certain that I would never see Andromeda (who I fangirl totally because of deepdownslytherin's brilliant "A Keen Observer," which is all that fanfiction should be). My expectations were, obviously, backward. No Regulus. Like, none. I loved the Kreacher stuff, thought it was brilliant, but I was so disappointed at the lack of Regulus. On the other hand, as soon as I heard Mad Eye tell Harry that he was being taken to "Tonks's parents house," I flipped out. And even though Andromeda and Ted were nothing as I imagined them to be, I was still thrilled that they were in there.
Also, Bellatrix and Narcissa were awesome. In that evil sort of way. And I was actually very, very shocked that Sirius didn't come back. I was fully expecting him to.
Ron: At first, I was very disappointed in JKR when she had Ron abandon them. I adore Ron; I think the brilliant thing about him is his loyalty, and I thought that this was giving in to the perception of him as weak and selfish and cowardly. I still sort of do. I mean, I totally get that that is something Ron would do in a fit of temper (especially if he's being influenced, Gollum-like, by the Horcrux--which, come to think of it, hasn't Hermione read Lord of the Rings? Seriously, girl, don't let them wear the evil reliquary around their necks! And don't go into the creepy haunted house at night if you're a hot teenager! Learn from other people's mistakes!), but I still think that ten minutes after doing so he would regret it terribly. I didn't feel that regret quite deeply enough.
But the scene where he was the one to be the true Gryffindor, to save the sword and Harry, and then destroy the Horcrux, was just brilliant. I'm in love with that scene. The way the Horcrux knew how to play on his insecurities--this scene hit me deeper than perhaps any other scene in the book. Those are exactly Ron's fears, exactly what he's thinking (incidentally, this reminded me of the Season 1 finale of Supernatural, where The-Thing-That's-Killed-Mom [don't you always see it spelled out that way when they say it?] possess John and plays on Dean's insecurities--absolutely killed me. I didn't know what to do with myself). And then Harry's comforting of him was just so right.
Ron/Hermione: I laughed out loud when she attacked him after he came back, though. Hilarious when she starts pummeling him and telling him what an "arse" he is. That was just so ludicrously Hermione. And then with him almost losing his mind when she was being Crucio-ed--I thought my little shipper heart was going to break.
But the "Is this the moment?" scene was so brilliantly written--it wasn't a huge deal as the story went (which was exactly right; I didn't want this overtaken by romance; that wouldn't have worked), but they were just so in character. Hermione would find him irresistible when he's sincerely concerned about house-elves for the first time--and it was sincere. He wasn't just saying that to get on her good side, like he'd been doing little things all the way through the book. It was a genuine moment for him (he had so many), and I loved it.
Snape: Yes, I knew he was "good" (by which I mean on the right side--I was never going to be a nice, decent man the way, say, Remus or Arthur are), no big shock there. But I like that he didn't have this huge, epic redemptive moment--even in his death there was a note of ambiguity that fit in so nicely with his personality throughout the books. I thought it was just right.
Luna: Yay for the insanely large amounts of Luna! I just love her, and she was just right every time she was "onscreen"--which was certainly more often than I'd expected.
Dumbledore's Army/The Hogwarts Resistance/the Battle of Hogwarts: This was more than I ever hoped for. When Neville (Neville!) showed up and led them through that portrait and we found all of those guys who had been fighting "the man" this whole time, I had to put my book down and dance around the room. I was so excited picture him and (earlier) Luna and Ginny and then everyone else--Seamus and Lavender and everyone--fighting on in their own way. I understand why JKR couldn't have gone into more detail--this is Harry's story, from his point of view--but I hope this inspires some really amazing fanfiction (and I hope to write some of it).
And then when all of the characters we've loved over the years started pouring into the Room of Requirement, I was just flooded with joy. The epic battle had to take place in Hogwarts--it's as big of a character as any of the other characters--and that was exactly right.. Even the furniture and statues and such were helping, and so many people had wonderful little moments--Professor Trelawny, for instance, and her crystal balls.
Various other things: I squealed out loud when Tonks flashed her ring at Harry, I was so happy. And I loved their baby, though I think it was overkill to kill them both off--she should have killed off, say, Hagrid, in one of their places. Percy coming back into the fold was more than I expected, and I loved it. Same with the conversion of Kreacher. And the fact that Draco never really falls in clearly with either side--that was very true to character, and I loved that Harry kept rescuing him (and the bit with Ron punching him was so Ronnish that I didn't resent it at all).
I love, also, that the Trio kept getting into impossible situations and then blundering into ways out. Loved that.
But I must say that I think the person who had the greatest moment in the whole book was Molly Weasley. She kicked ass! I always knew she had it in her--I was so proud! (Though I'd wanted, up until that moment, for Andromeda to kill Bellatrix, as revenge for both Sirius and [later] Ted.)
Now as to why I'm disappointed: A couple of things, actually (more than just the "I wish I could have had more Ron/Hermione moments. I'll stop being petty and romantic).
First of all, I was sorely disappointed as to the lack of "Trio moments." Yes, they were together most of the book--which was quite right--but I wanted Ron and Hermione to have huge moments where they put their lives on the line for Harry's. That, to me, is what the book is about, that love. Yes, Harry had love for everyone else, and that saved him, but I just hated that at the first confrontation scene, he walked into it with the Dead with him and not Ron and Hermione. They should have been by his side. And then in the last , real confrontation side, they weren't there, either (though Neville's moment was great, wasn't it? I expected him to die, honestly). I was very, very, very disappointed.
Then there were the deaths. It isn't that I resented that there were deaths (though, like I said, it was overkill for it to be both Remus and Tonks), it's just that I didn't feel them as deeply as I wanted to. Fred's was right--the "last laugh" line is what was expected (I suspected he'd die), but it was exactly right for him. But with just sort of side notes about Remus and Tonks and Mad Eye? Really? I know Harry wasn't there to see them, but I feel like they deserved more.
But what I really guess it comes down to is that I wasn't bereft when it was over. I was expecting it, I suppose, to be like the first time you finish The Lord of the Rings or like (for me) the end of The Fionavar Tapestry or Ender's Game or something. In those books, I had every last bit of emotion wrung out of me; I was emotionally exhausted when I was done, and I didn't want anyone to talk to me or touch me for a while afterwards. I crave that sort of immersion, that absolute investment in a book (or movie or TV show)--to me, that's the whole point of an "epic" novel. I didn't feel that here. As a matter of fact, tears only slid down my cheeks twice: when Ron had his showdown with the Horcrux and then when Harry speaks to Remus when he, James, Sirius, and Lily all come to him. I wanted more, and I didn't really get that.
A few things I have no real clear feelings on: The epilogue felt a bit jumbled to me; I liked the thought of it--Harry and Ginny and their kids; Ron and Hermione and theirs (and even Draco and his son, with the idea that he never got a real redemption but was still carrying on all things considered)--but I didn't really like the execution of it. It felt kind of fanfic-y to me (in the bad way). But the very, very end, with the idea that "All is well" because they have this simple life of family and love and carrying on, was exactly the right sentiment to end on.
The whole "Dumbledore isn't who you think he is" subplot was a bit irksome as well. I understand the idea behind it--this is Harry's moment to grow up and realize that his "parent" is a much more complex person than he thought and, by extension, so is the world. But I thought it was a little too twisted and wasn't resolved enough, even with the scene in "King's Cross."
A few points on which I'm hazy: I still don't understand the part with the Elder Wand and Draco. Haven't got a clue as to what that means. And I'm confused about James, as well. Every time we've ever seen him in the books (in flashback, admittedly), he's being an immature jerk. Harry loves him because he's his dad and because of what Sirius says, but at what moment did this guy become worthy of Lily Evans? When did he grow up and become a bigger person? I never saw that, and I wish I had.
On the whole, I'm satisfied. Really. I know I had a lot of complaints, but these books have never given me great moments of "transcendence" as others have, so I guess it's fitting that this one didn't, either.
It was still well-written and enjoyable and moving. And it's been one hell of a ride.
First of all, the pacing was fantastic. I wasn't even aware of how quickly things were moving--I never felt caught in a rush--but they just. Kept. Moving. Great job there, Jo.
Now, as to the most important things for me, in no particular order (besides the final confrontation scene, which I'll discuss at length later):
The Blacks: I adore the Black family. Lovelovelovelovelove them. I fangirl them something terrible, and so I had some very clear expectations of this book that others probably hadn't even thought about. Like most people, I was confident that R.A.B. was Regulus. Unlike a lot of people, perhaps, this thrilled me to death. Another Black to get to know! It's like a present from Jo to me! I took it for granted that he was really alive and would play a huge part in the book, and I was so very excited. On the flip side, I was certain that I would never see Andromeda (who I fangirl totally because of deepdownslytherin's brilliant "A Keen Observer," which is all that fanfiction should be). My expectations were, obviously, backward. No Regulus. Like, none. I loved the Kreacher stuff, thought it was brilliant, but I was so disappointed at the lack of Regulus. On the other hand, as soon as I heard Mad Eye tell Harry that he was being taken to "Tonks's parents house," I flipped out. And even though Andromeda and Ted were nothing as I imagined them to be, I was still thrilled that they were in there.
Also, Bellatrix and Narcissa were awesome. In that evil sort of way. And I was actually very, very shocked that Sirius didn't come back. I was fully expecting him to.
Ron: At first, I was very disappointed in JKR when she had Ron abandon them. I adore Ron; I think the brilliant thing about him is his loyalty, and I thought that this was giving in to the perception of him as weak and selfish and cowardly. I still sort of do. I mean, I totally get that that is something Ron would do in a fit of temper (especially if he's being influenced, Gollum-like, by the Horcrux--which, come to think of it, hasn't Hermione read Lord of the Rings? Seriously, girl, don't let them wear the evil reliquary around their necks! And don't go into the creepy haunted house at night if you're a hot teenager! Learn from other people's mistakes!), but I still think that ten minutes after doing so he would regret it terribly. I didn't feel that regret quite deeply enough.
But the scene where he was the one to be the true Gryffindor, to save the sword and Harry, and then destroy the Horcrux, was just brilliant. I'm in love with that scene. The way the Horcrux knew how to play on his insecurities--this scene hit me deeper than perhaps any other scene in the book. Those are exactly Ron's fears, exactly what he's thinking (incidentally, this reminded me of the Season 1 finale of Supernatural, where The-Thing-That's-Killed-Mom [don't you always see it spelled out that way when they say it?] possess John and plays on Dean's insecurities--absolutely killed me. I didn't know what to do with myself). And then Harry's comforting of him was just so right.
Ron/Hermione: I laughed out loud when she attacked him after he came back, though. Hilarious when she starts pummeling him and telling him what an "arse" he is. That was just so ludicrously Hermione. And then with him almost losing his mind when she was being Crucio-ed--I thought my little shipper heart was going to break.
But the "Is this the moment?" scene was so brilliantly written--it wasn't a huge deal as the story went (which was exactly right; I didn't want this overtaken by romance; that wouldn't have worked), but they were just so in character. Hermione would find him irresistible when he's sincerely concerned about house-elves for the first time--and it was sincere. He wasn't just saying that to get on her good side, like he'd been doing little things all the way through the book. It was a genuine moment for him (he had so many), and I loved it.
Snape: Yes, I knew he was "good" (by which I mean on the right side--I was never going to be a nice, decent man the way, say, Remus or Arthur are), no big shock there. But I like that he didn't have this huge, epic redemptive moment--even in his death there was a note of ambiguity that fit in so nicely with his personality throughout the books. I thought it was just right.
Luna: Yay for the insanely large amounts of Luna! I just love her, and she was just right every time she was "onscreen"--which was certainly more often than I'd expected.
Dumbledore's Army/The Hogwarts Resistance/the Battle of Hogwarts: This was more than I ever hoped for. When Neville (Neville!) showed up and led them through that portrait and we found all of those guys who had been fighting "the man" this whole time, I had to put my book down and dance around the room. I was so excited picture him and (earlier) Luna and Ginny and then everyone else--Seamus and Lavender and everyone--fighting on in their own way. I understand why JKR couldn't have gone into more detail--this is Harry's story, from his point of view--but I hope this inspires some really amazing fanfiction (and I hope to write some of it).
And then when all of the characters we've loved over the years started pouring into the Room of Requirement, I was just flooded with joy. The epic battle had to take place in Hogwarts--it's as big of a character as any of the other characters--and that was exactly right.. Even the furniture and statues and such were helping, and so many people had wonderful little moments--Professor Trelawny, for instance, and her crystal balls.
Various other things: I squealed out loud when Tonks flashed her ring at Harry, I was so happy. And I loved their baby, though I think it was overkill to kill them both off--she should have killed off, say, Hagrid, in one of their places. Percy coming back into the fold was more than I expected, and I loved it. Same with the conversion of Kreacher. And the fact that Draco never really falls in clearly with either side--that was very true to character, and I loved that Harry kept rescuing him (and the bit with Ron punching him was so Ronnish that I didn't resent it at all).
I love, also, that the Trio kept getting into impossible situations and then blundering into ways out. Loved that.
But I must say that I think the person who had the greatest moment in the whole book was Molly Weasley. She kicked ass! I always knew she had it in her--I was so proud! (Though I'd wanted, up until that moment, for Andromeda to kill Bellatrix, as revenge for both Sirius and [later] Ted.)
Now as to why I'm disappointed: A couple of things, actually (more than just the "I wish I could have had more Ron/Hermione moments. I'll stop being petty and romantic).
First of all, I was sorely disappointed as to the lack of "Trio moments." Yes, they were together most of the book--which was quite right--but I wanted Ron and Hermione to have huge moments where they put their lives on the line for Harry's. That, to me, is what the book is about, that love. Yes, Harry had love for everyone else, and that saved him, but I just hated that at the first confrontation scene, he walked into it with the Dead with him and not Ron and Hermione. They should have been by his side. And then in the last , real confrontation side, they weren't there, either (though Neville's moment was great, wasn't it? I expected him to die, honestly). I was very, very, very disappointed.
Then there were the deaths. It isn't that I resented that there were deaths (though, like I said, it was overkill for it to be both Remus and Tonks), it's just that I didn't feel them as deeply as I wanted to. Fred's was right--the "last laugh" line is what was expected (I suspected he'd die), but it was exactly right for him. But with just sort of side notes about Remus and Tonks and Mad Eye? Really? I know Harry wasn't there to see them, but I feel like they deserved more.
But what I really guess it comes down to is that I wasn't bereft when it was over. I was expecting it, I suppose, to be like the first time you finish The Lord of the Rings or like (for me) the end of The Fionavar Tapestry or Ender's Game or something. In those books, I had every last bit of emotion wrung out of me; I was emotionally exhausted when I was done, and I didn't want anyone to talk to me or touch me for a while afterwards. I crave that sort of immersion, that absolute investment in a book (or movie or TV show)--to me, that's the whole point of an "epic" novel. I didn't feel that here. As a matter of fact, tears only slid down my cheeks twice: when Ron had his showdown with the Horcrux and then when Harry speaks to Remus when he, James, Sirius, and Lily all come to him. I wanted more, and I didn't really get that.
A few things I have no real clear feelings on: The epilogue felt a bit jumbled to me; I liked the thought of it--Harry and Ginny and their kids; Ron and Hermione and theirs (and even Draco and his son, with the idea that he never got a real redemption but was still carrying on all things considered)--but I didn't really like the execution of it. It felt kind of fanfic-y to me (in the bad way). But the very, very end, with the idea that "All is well" because they have this simple life of family and love and carrying on, was exactly the right sentiment to end on.
The whole "Dumbledore isn't who you think he is" subplot was a bit irksome as well. I understand the idea behind it--this is Harry's moment to grow up and realize that his "parent" is a much more complex person than he thought and, by extension, so is the world. But I thought it was a little too twisted and wasn't resolved enough, even with the scene in "King's Cross."
A few points on which I'm hazy: I still don't understand the part with the Elder Wand and Draco. Haven't got a clue as to what that means. And I'm confused about James, as well. Every time we've ever seen him in the books (in flashback, admittedly), he's being an immature jerk. Harry loves him because he's his dad and because of what Sirius says, but at what moment did this guy become worthy of Lily Evans? When did he grow up and become a bigger person? I never saw that, and I wish I had.
On the whole, I'm satisfied. Really. I know I had a lot of complaints, but these books have never given me great moments of "transcendence" as others have, so I guess it's fitting that this one didn't, either.
It was still well-written and enjoyable and moving. And it's been one hell of a ride.
Wow. That was ridiculously long. I guess I just needed to work out all my emotions on paper (so to say). I don't really expect anyone to read all that, but I can't wait to hear what other people think.