So, here's the thing. I haven't read anything of yours in...um, ages? As in, I can't even remember, but I think it was somewhere back when I was still writing RotJ or CitR. Like I said--ages. And it's quite awful of me, considering how your reviews always make my day. So I noticed that you posted some of your fics here, and they were short enough for my conscience to freak out about my procrastination, and I clicked and...
Seriously, this was *wonderful*. My favourite was Polexia, for being vulnerable and in love but stronger than Penny.
There were too many people crammed into the dressing room and there was too much laughter and too much of some sickly sweet smell she wasn’t used to and the girls were too made up and the men were too proud of themselves. And she sat scrunched up in a corner on the edge of a counter and watched Lucy laugh far too loudly.
I love this part, because it's just so *real*.
and:
He was laughing, too, and there was a girl hanging off each of his arms, but his eyes looked…scared. His eyes looked like she felt. Like he wasn’t really sure he belonged here, like he wasn’t really sure where he belonged, like he wasn’t really sure who he was, even though his laugh was a cocky as anyone’s. She didn’t go home that night.
is lovely. Actually, so are *many* of the quotes in this fic, and especially the ones with polexia/jeff, but if I quoted them all...well, this review would be more like one of those papers I should be writing :P
Estrella's POV was very great, particularly because of the real penny!hero worship that really shows up, and how we get to see her through the follower's eyes.
Beth--
You’ve got it all wrong, Beth. You make choices not because you love something, but because you hate something else. Not because you want something, but because you’re scared of its opposite. Not because of dreams, but because of nightmares. It’s dangerous, Beth; it isn’t healthy. You’re all backwards.
--is so clearly, cleverly written for her 'backwards' and auras and running. I never connected with this character the way I did some of the other characters--it wasn't even an apathy, or clear, I-don't-care-about-this-one, but a...lack. But this section drew me right in.
And Sapphire. My second favourite in this group. This is *exactly* how I never realized I saw her, and it's perfect. I love that she loves the music, and she'll sleep with the guys, but not be a favourite because of that--more because she's "practically one of them,"--and she enjoys it, but it's not the love story some of the other girls fall for, and she that's just perfectly fine for her.
After all, she had the music. - is the best refrain for this character, and you pull it off seamlessly, without seeming over-repetitive.
My favourite line for her, however, is:
Because suddenly things were complicated where they never had been before, at least for everyone else. But it’s still so easy, so simple, so clear for her. After all, she has the music. So here she is, walking into the impromptu cafeteria and going through the serving line and getting the last, overdone, too-tough steak and sitting down next to Russell at the table and glowering at the new girls and knowing that she always knew she would end up back here. Sapphire always comes back.
Finally, Penny. She's the one we know the most about, of course, so I could imagine this one being harder-easier in that way, because of it, but you pulled her off. What I love about this piece is that you never *over*-do any of it--it's all written out so simply, so clearly and poetically, and you feel every word but don't get weighed down by it. It really shows up in this last section.
So, in conclusion, I *loved* this, and you're so very talented and make me all jealous that you can put all of this into one short story ;D
no subject
Seriously, this was *wonderful*. My favourite was Polexia, for being vulnerable and in love but stronger than Penny.
There were too many people crammed into the dressing room and there was too much laughter and too much of some sickly sweet smell she wasn’t used to and the girls were too made up and the men were too proud of themselves. And she sat scrunched up in a corner on the edge of a counter and watched Lucy laugh far too loudly.
I love this part, because it's just so *real*.
and:
He was laughing, too, and there was a girl hanging off each of his arms, but his eyes looked…scared. His eyes looked like she felt. Like he wasn’t really sure he belonged here, like he wasn’t really sure where he belonged, like he wasn’t really sure who he was, even though his laugh was a cocky as anyone’s.
She didn’t go home that night.
is lovely. Actually, so are *many* of the quotes in this fic, and especially the ones with polexia/jeff, but if I quoted them all...well, this review would be more like one of those papers I should be writing :P
Estrella's POV was very great, particularly because of the real penny!hero worship that really shows up, and how we get to see her through the follower's eyes.
Beth--
You’ve got it all wrong, Beth. You make choices not because you love something, but because you hate something else. Not because you want something, but because you’re scared of its opposite. Not because of dreams, but because of nightmares. It’s dangerous, Beth; it isn’t healthy. You’re all backwards.
--is so clearly, cleverly written for her 'backwards' and auras and running. I never connected with this character the way I did some of the other characters--it wasn't even an apathy, or clear, I-don't-care-about-this-one, but a...lack. But this section drew me right in.
And Sapphire. My second favourite in this group. This is *exactly* how I never realized I saw her, and it's perfect. I love that she loves the music, and she'll sleep with the guys, but not be a favourite because of that--more because she's "practically one of them,"--and she enjoys it, but it's not the love story some of the other girls fall for, and she that's just perfectly fine for her.
After all, she had the music. - is the best refrain for this character, and you pull it off seamlessly, without seeming over-repetitive.
My favourite line for her, however, is:
Because suddenly things were complicated where they never had been before, at least for everyone else. But it’s still so easy, so simple, so clear for her.
After all, she has the music.
So here she is, walking into the impromptu cafeteria and going through the serving line and getting the last, overdone, too-tough steak and sitting down next to Russell at the table and glowering at the new girls and knowing that she always knew she would end up back here.
Sapphire always comes back.
Finally, Penny. She's the one we know the most about, of course, so I could imagine this one being harder-easier in that way, because of it, but you pulled her off. What I love about this piece is that you never *over*-do any of it--it's all written out so simply, so clearly and poetically, and you feel every word but don't get weighed down by it. It really shows up in this last section.
So, in conclusion, I *loved* this, and you're so very talented and make me all jealous that you can put all of this into one short story ;D