That totally makes sense to me. And usually I can separate the character from the way fandom approaches him--BtVS fandom used to be all POOR WOOBIE SPIIIIKE BUFFY'S SUCH A BITCH TO HIM, and I just sort of rolled my eyes and moved on. I guess what hangs me up about Damon is that I feel like the writers want me to be sympathetic to his actions? Like, he's ripping some girl's throat out, and I'm supposed to be OH POOR DAMON HE'S IN SO MUCH PAAAAAAIN. And it all be okay? When it's clearly not? And that I'm supposed to think the way he treats Elena at this point is romantic? Which I totally don't, because he's way too controlling. But I'm fine with him being evil. That's cool, as long as I don't feel like I'm expected to think it's okay.
My ideal scenario for Damon and Elena--and this is where I honestly thought it was going last season, and this is why I shipped it--is for them to become friends--all romantic overtures off the table and him to dial back on the controllingness. And for him to become good, if he's going to, via their friendship but also his friendships with other people. And then they can go there with Damon/Elena. But I just won't believe an Elena who seriously considers being with Damon at this point. He's too unrepentant. And she shouldn't be with him now, really--she's way too practical for that. Sort of like how Buffy wasn't going to be with Spike in S5--it took S6 and her complete breakdown and then S7 and his soul to make all of that happen. And I don't believe most Spuffy fics that take place in a pre-S6 world. I may enjoy them, but I don't believe them. I'm at that point with Damon and Elena. If this love triangle becomes more explicit and more on her part, I won't believe it. The writers haven't earned that yet.
Obviously, I have lots of complicated feelings on this. So while I totally see where you're coming from, I'm at a completely different place than I was in S1, and I kind of hate it. Hopefully the writers will make it work for me. :D
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My ideal scenario for Damon and Elena--and this is where I honestly thought it was going last season, and this is why I shipped it--is for them to become friends--all romantic overtures off the table and him to dial back on the controllingness. And for him to become good, if he's going to, via their friendship but also his friendships with other people. And then they can go there with Damon/Elena. But I just won't believe an Elena who seriously considers being with Damon at this point. He's too unrepentant. And she shouldn't be with him now, really--she's way too practical for that. Sort of like how Buffy wasn't going to be with Spike in S5--it took S6 and her complete breakdown and then S7 and his soul to make all of that happen. And I don't believe most Spuffy fics that take place in a pre-S6 world. I may enjoy them, but I don't believe them. I'm at that point with Damon and Elena. If this love triangle becomes more explicit and more on her part, I won't believe it. The writers haven't earned that yet.
Obviously, I have lots of complicated feelings on this. So while I totally see where you're coming from, I'm at a completely different place than I was in S1, and I kind of hate it. Hopefully the writers will make it work for me. :D