On Beauty

[lirazel]

So I'm way behind on answering comments again, but I've been reading an article over on Jezebel about a make-up free week challenge, and it got me to thinking.

I don't wear makeup as a general rule. I wear lipstick sometimes (I put it on maybe once a week, and it's always gone after I eat/drink something) and very, very occasionally mascara, but other than that? Nothing.

Part of the reason is that I never learned how to apply it. My mama only wears lipstick and sometimes eyeliner, and quite a few of my friends in high school didn't wear it either. My older girl cousins lived far enough away that they weren't around to teach me, either. My BFF has flawless pale skin and naturally beautifully bone structure (also, the best hair EVER) and never wears it--she definitely doesn't need it (I, on the other hand, know I would look "better" if I wore it, probably). So I just...didn't ever wear it. The times I've put on eyeliner, I make a big mess (also, I'm petrified of anything getting near my eyes. Eye doctor appointments? Nightmare!) and can't draw a straight line. I wouldn't know how to match my skin tone. I don't have flawless skin, but the once or twice I put on powder (not even foundation), it drove me craaaazy, so I didn't do it again.

There are other reasons. Time, for one. Ten minutes of putting on makeup or ten more minutes of sleep? I go with sleep every time. Expense. Makeup is expensive! And you keep having to replace it! It's ridiculous!

There's also the fact that I resent that men's faces are deemed acceptable all on their own, but women have to paint over ours before we go out in public. Although some guys look hella sexy with eyeliner. This societal demand that women wear makeup in order to look professional/acceptable/whatever enfuriates me to no end.

I also hatehatehatehatehate guys who say they prefer a woman to not wear makeup, but what they really want it for a woman to look entirely perfect and made up...without anyone being able to tell that they're wearing make-up. When they see what their girlfriends look like without it they're disgusted. GRRRR.

One of my friends told me a story about how when her grandmother got married back in the 50s, she would wake up earlier than her husband every single morning so that she could put her makeup on before he woke up. And she didn't take it off until after he went to bed. Her husband never saw her real face for decades. I cannot imagine.

Which is not to say that I judge women who do choose to wear it (though I'm endlessly annoyed by the "too much" look, but I realize that's my own issue). I know a lot of people have a lot of fun with it. When I watch Carmindy on What Not to Wear, she makes it look fun and simple. My little sister and all my cousins wear it (I have no idea where Sis learned to do it, since she didn't from me or our mama. It's an eternal mystery). And I know it really does instill some women with confidence, and with as looks-obsessed as our culture is, I can't blame them at all.

[This all reminds me of how whenever I straighten my hair, people FREAK THE HELL OUT. Like, suddenly I'm attractive or something. And they tell me I should do it all the time! Like it didn't take an hour and a half to get it to stay that way! I'm never going to devote that much time in my day to it! It drives me crazy.]

Most people in my life never comment on my lack of comestics, though my mama constantly badgers me to put on some lipstick. To placate her, I took her with me about a month ago to one of the counters in the mall and had the lady pick out a shade that would look good on me. IT COST FIFTEEN BUCKS. FIFTEEN. FOR ONE TUBE OF LIPSTICK. This is insanity to me. I cannot afford this.

[eta] I also want to talk about how employers can require you to wear makeup/heels/whatever and FIRE YOU WHEN YOU DON'T. Yeah, you probably need to wear makeup if you're in the performing arts so that people can see your face from a distance. But if you work in a bank? Or any other kind office? THIS MAKES ME STABBY.

So I'm wondering, because the vast majority of my flist is female--do y'all wear much makeup? If so, why? If not, why? What's your routine like? Who taught you how to apply it? Do you judge women who do/don't wear it? Talk to me!

Comments

[magisterequitum.livejournal.com]

I personally don't judge whether women wear make up or not. It's their choice. It is a social construct of today's society for a woman to feel like she always has to have make up on. Which is bad on so many levels, but that's a different story.

Personally, I always have eyeliner on. I have naturally dark and thick eyelashes, so I don't wear mascara. But I usually have eyeliner on and some days I will wear shadow as well. I have chap stick and gloss, depending on what I'm in the mood for. I have clean skin and high cheekbones, so I don't wear any type of concealer or blush. Oh and I always have my nails painted; don't know if that counts or not.

I learned from my Mom. I don't usually wear anything on the weekends, at the very least just a small smudge of eyeliner. And it only takes me about three minutes in the bathroom to put on whatever I'm wearing.

And I will agree that yes it is expensive, but you don't replace your makeup that often. Eyeliner typically lasts me for about four or five months. Shadow for a long, long, long time.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Nails! I didn't even think of that! I don't paint mine because I always make a mess. And also because I am lazy. And I'm also fond of the way my nails look naturally--one thing I really like about my appearance is that I have great hands.

I am impressed by your speedy skills!

I can't wear eyeshadow--my eyes water a lot, and somehow when I wear it, it always manages to get smudged. I do not know how, but I'll reach up to feel my eyelids and they're damp with smudgy makeup. I hate it.

And I will agree that yes it is expensive, but you don't replace your makeup that often.

True. But it does add up over the long run--I believe that I read that most women spend about $13,000 on it in their lifetime. I'd (personally) rather save up that money and go on a couple of great trips. But of course this is all about individual priorities, and I don't have a problem with anyone making different decisions than I do.

[worldwasasong.livejournal.com]

I've thought a lot about this too. First of all, with you on the "guys who only say they like girls without make up" thing. Ugh. Second, I have the exact same problem when I straighten my hair. It's like, wtf is wrong with curly hair?! My sister informs me that people who say things like that to me when I straighten my hair have "internalized a Jersey Shore standard of beauty." So there, :).

As for your make up question, well, I never wore any until college. Now on days I feel like it, which are maybe a few times every month or two, I wear it. I also wear it whenever I go out clubbing here, because everyone does and I feel cuter/more dressed up with it on. I wear mascara, lipgloss, and some gold or brown eyeshadow - I try not to wear too much. But I'm like you, no one ever taught me to apply make up. My aunt tried but she wears a LOT and that just doesn't look good on me. My mom doesn't know much about it either so she didn't even try. It's always frustrated me because I've always wanted to know how to do the "look really good because of make up, but don't look like I have any on" effect. Which is hard to pull off when your eyeliner is crooked and a mile thick. I gave up on eyeliner, I am ridiculously bad at applying it. Honestly, I judge people who wear a lot of make up a bit, especially if it's ugly and/or if they don't need it. I sometimes judge people for wearing any because really, I think most people don't need it. On the other hand, I have friends who wear subtle make up and look very good in it, so good for them. :Shrugs: I guess I have mixed feelings about it. I definitely resent the societal pressure about it and the idea that only women have to wear it. Screw that. ...I maybe feel a little defensive about my make up-less state, :).

[maddie2927.livejournal.com]

I do! But unless I'm "going out" I keep it verrrry simple. I have the very traditional English rosy complexion so my cheeks are ALWAYS PINK. I used to get other kids' moms coming up to me and asking me if I had a fever when I was little and it would bug the hell out of me. ha! I use this foundation that just applies like lotion, and clear lipgloss, then mascara and eyeliner. But not liquid, cause I feel you on that one. wayyy too difficult to apply unless it's for recitals or musicals, in which case I don't do my own make-up anyway =) I think that's where I learned how to apply it though, doing theatre and recitals from a very young age, obviously I tone it down though haha. I'm now imagining myself going out every day in stage makeup and I'm horrified. gah! When I go out I use eye shadow sometimes or colored lipgloss but that's about it, honestly. I have a best friend who absolutely hates her freckles so every day she does like, the works. Base, cover-up, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, lipliner, lipstick, and on and on and onnn. It takes her about 25 minutes but it makes her feel better, I guess, I don't get it!

Long comment is long!

[elisi]

OMG this post! Clearly we are twins, because I was nodding through most of it. (Except for the fact that my mother never badgers me.) Especially the part about extra sleep! Oh and my best friend when I was a teenager was *gorgeous*, but had a ton of issues and therefore wore a ton of makeup, and I *could* have asked her for advice on stuff, I suppose, but I had zero interest in looking like that. (Don't get me wrong, she looked gorgeous *with* makeup too. And also had style and fashion sense coming out of her ears - and yet we were absolutely best friends and had a ton in common. :)

I'll be back in the morning - right now I'm falling asleep...

ETA: Actually, re. employers asking you to wear make-up - did you see that episode of 'Malcolm in the Middle' where his mother is asked to do this? I ♥ it to *infinity*!

[gillo]

I wear makeup to work. It's part of creating "a face to meet the faces that you meet" - the persona of the teacher rather than the person who is Gill. It's a shield, a front, a resource.

Otherwise I wear it if I'm going out to a formal even - probably for similar reasons. And on special occasions, like anniversary meals, when I feel more confident.

In short, it's always about me, and my need to present a certain aspect to the world. Other people don't come into it.

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

My sister informs me that people who say things like that to me when I straighten my hair have "internalized a Jersey Shore standard of beauty." So there, :).

LOVE IT! I do think that the hatred towards curly/wild/kinky hair is racially based. Of course, I'm white so it's not racist towards me in particular, but I think that the reason it's so looked down upon is that it's associated with those "wild" people. It's much less common in Northern and Western European societies and much more common in Mediterranean, African, Jewish, Middle Eastern, etc. areas. Thoughts I have.

t's always frustrated me because I've always wanted to know how to do the "look really good because of make up, but don't look like I have any on" effect.

Me, too! I would love to know how to do this! I still wouldn't wear it everyday, but it'd be nice on rare occasions.

I gave up on eyeliner, I am ridiculously bad at applying it.

You so sound like me.

I know--I also judge people who wear too much, and I really shouldn't. Because a lot of them are really nice girls! But I associate them with the kind of people I don't like. I need to work on it more.

I definitely resent the societal pressure about it and the idea that only women have to wear it. Screw that. ...I maybe feel a little defensive about my make up-less state, :).

Yup! We're on the same page!

[quinara]

Definitely don't judge people one way or another! But I do like makeup - I used to wear really thick eyeliner and eyeshadow, because it was all about making a statement (same reason I dye my hair red and spend a reasonable amount of time styling it into something interesting), but when I got new glasses about 18 months ago I didn't think it worked anymore (the glasses made a statement on their own), so now I don't really wear anything apart from powder, mascara and a touch of eyebrow pencil. It's not an attractiveness thing so much as wanting to look, I dunno, sharper - a bit more dramatic and less like a doormat, because naturally my appearance is almost the definition of mousy: I have thin, fine mousy-coloured hair, fairly average skin tone and fairly average features. Changing my appearance makes me feel more like my outside is reflecting my inside, just as it does with clothes etc.

I go out plenty of times without it, though, if I'm not going anywhere special or can't be bothered. As for learning to apply it, I mostly worked that out on my own, playing around (I'm a bit annoyed with my graduation photos because I was still putting on too much eyebrow pencil at that point, and it looks like I've got brown slugs on my forehead...).

[angearia.livejournal.com]

I also want to talk about how employers can require you to wear makeup/heels/whatever and FIRE YOU WHEN YOU DON'T.

UGH. I worked at a restaurant that required the woman to wear black skirts while the men wore black slacks. Working in a restaurant is physical labor, FFS. And sometimes I'd have to climb into these huge ass booths or bend down to clean stuff off the floor and be so self-conscious because of it. I'd never worked at another restaurant that required I wear a skirt and it was RIDICULOUS. SEXIST BULLSHIT.

On to make-up! So my mom never really wears much make-up and also I grew up with my dad in Minnesota and my favorite aunt who lived up there doesn't really wear much make-up either so I taught myself. I taught myself how to do my eyebrows and I played with make-up when I was younger and it took a lot of trial and error, but you know, it worked out okay. And now I'm like excellent at doing my own eyebrows and I had this one random person who didn't know my name describe me as "the girl with the perfect eyeliner" but...

Um, yeah, a significant portion of my life was spent learning how to do this. So I totally understand not wanting to do it. Though I don't think it has to be as expensive as $15 for every lipstick you buy 'cause that's insane to me.

Nowadays when I hardly wear make-up, but I have like a really quick regime that takes two minutes, then a five minute one and then like fifteen minutes for going out on dates or clubbing.

So it doesn't have to be uber time-consuming or uber expensive. But also if you don't want to, don't! 'Cause I fully support this.

I think if I tanned I'd have better skin aka more even complexion and less fair because as it is, I always look like I have bags under my eyes because I'm so fair. But I don't want to tan because of a) cancer (!!!) and b) I don't want to prematurely age my skin. So in order to note look like a ghost lady, I tend to use make-up.


Oh gah, it takes an hour and a half to straighten your hair?! Yeah, soooo not worth it. I totally understand. And screw whoever says you look better with straight hair. I love curly hair and I think my straight hair is so boring and listless and flat. Boo. I hatehatehate when people always remark on how fair-skinned I am, like I'm an anomaly or unhealthy or just wrong. How many times have I heard myself described as pale as a ghost or white as a sheet? I swear, if I lived in (Regency) England this would not be a problem. I can be white (and I mean this literally) without being consider ugly since tan is the ideal.

Oh, and since we're on the topic of Lady Business, how much do I hate that women are expected to have their nails done and get pedicures? That shit is expensive and takes forever. And I hate it. HATE IT. Men just shave and slap on a suit and they're ready to go. Women have to do so much more. GRRRR.

[deird1]

One of my friends told me a story about how when her grandmother got married back in the 50s, she would wake up earlier than her husband every single morning so that she could put her makeup on before he woke up. And she didn't take it off until after he went to bed. Her husband never saw her real face for decades. I cannot imagine.

My mum's best friend, on the first day of her honeymoon she came out to breakfast without any makeup on. And her husband looked at her, concerned, and said "Are you feeling okay?"
And she never went without makeup in front of him again.

I've been through stages where I've worn it a lot - but a few years ago, when I was in a play, I'd have to put on full stage makeup twice a night for six weeks. I was a bit over it after all of that.

These days, unless it's a special event in full formal dress, I only wear a bit of concealer (because my skin sucks).

[flake-sake.livejournal.com]

What you wrote about women being required to wear make up for jobs really creeps me out. Where I live it isn't that bad and unless you work in a make up shop, I don't think anyone requires it.

I'm completely with you. The time it takes to apply is wasted time. I do like to dress up. I love stage acting and also larping and I will use make up there, but it's to transform me into someone else. It's a mask. Why would I want to were a mask in everyday life?

Also I find that over here it often has the opposite effect. It doesn't make people look professional, it makes them look like they care more about putting colour on their face than actual work.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Also, on the whole teaching myself thing, I even bought books about make-up and beauty. Yeah. But I think it's 'cause I grew up without my mom when I was a teenager and so I was trying to figure out how to be a girl. Like figuring out how to dress and how to wear make-up and all that. The clothes thing was actually harder for me than the make-up. Sigh.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Like, I am feeling the urge to give make-up tips if you want them, but also I understand if you don't!

Make-up with their sales. And starting off is difficult and time-consuming. :p

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I like makeup. I like how it makes me look, and I like how it makes me feel: I've joked at work that even though I go for the "not wearing makeup" look, when I'm really not wearing makeup, I feel kinda naked and vulnerable. I don't know if it's good or bad, but the act of actually putting on the concealers and the blush and the mascara and lipgloss has the same effect on me that war paint has on warriors (and right now I wish I had a .gif of Shoshonna putting the lipstick stripes on her cheeks as she prepares to off Hitler to illustrate my point - I think you have one?)

Anyway, it is my war paint - I may not look like I'm wearing much (and I do make rude comments about my cousisns who wear far too much and look as though if they were splashed their entire face would melt off), but it's enough to give me confidence to face the world. I do find I judge people who wear little or no makeup less harshly than I do people who look fake and wear excessive makeup (see comments about cousins), so I don't know how judgemental according to society's standards that makes me.

I've found a little bit goes a long way, if you find a product you like, it's worth the cost (I have this amazing concealing kit from Benefit that I adore - it's one of the best purchases I've made in the past two months and has products that take away all my flaws whatever they be), and that it's not necessary when I'm not at work.

Feel free to go without, but if you're smart about it, it shouldn't take very long or cost much, but the effect is worth it. Now, I'm totally with you on the hair thing. I could spend a half hour with a flat iron to get my hair to look like it does when the hairdresser does it, but why waste a half hour? I recall you have a love/hate relationship with your hair, so totally go with what's comfortable. But give makeup a chance; a little smudge here or there never hurts, and I don't feel personally oppressed by enjoying my little war paint ritual to make me ready to face the world.

I feel like Peggy and Joan are appropriate mascots for this discussion, btw. We sound kinda like Peggy writing copy for a makeup company, don't we?

[angearia.livejournal.com]

It's part of creating "a face to meet the faces that you meet" - the persona of the teacher rather than the person who is Gill.

Yeah, the ritual of getting ready also helps me prepare to go out into the world. Which for me can be difficult. Someone in here described wearing make-up as a mask and, um, that's part of why I like it.

Though I hate it when I don't wear make-up often and then I do wear make-up and I wear my contacts instead of my glasses and everyone is all "OMG Emmie you're pretty!" I swear I've even noticed people being nicer to me when I do get all prettified.

[clockwork-jo.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, I am a make-up wearer.
Sometimes I go without it, but typically: NOT.
I just prefer the way I look with it on; I honestly wish I didn't feel the need to wear it, but seriously, I have such issues with my appearance that it's a whole thing. lmao. I didn't until I was about sixteen, because the only girls who ever really did were the kind that I didn't want to be. So with the exception of playing with make-up, I never really discovered it till my last year of secondary school.

BUT: You didn't ask me any of that really. So I'll get on to what you did, haha.

My routine is exactly like this everyday:
* a thin barely-there sweep of eyeliner on the bottom outer corners of my eyes
* really light brown eyeshadow on the top lid
* concealer all over, and then blended with a brush
* lipbalm, it doesn't count as jackie says, but I do it.
I have literally got my routine down to five minutes.
(Same with my hair, I diffuse it and curl it and I can do it all in fifteen minutes from wet.)
The thing is, I'm pale with dark hair and blue eyes, so my 'everyday' look is more about emphasising what I have than giving me something I don't.
But when I go out, I do have extras:
* mascara
(but I also get my eyelashes permed and tinted, so it's kind of like you're always wearing mascara, I really only put it on if I'm going somewhere fancy/getting out of my pyjamas that day)
* sometimes I wear two tones of eyeshadow
* sometimes I put eyeliner on the top lid in a flick

No one taught me how to apply it, I just erm, taught myself by looking like a fool in my mirror and watched a lot of makeover programmes in my youth, haha. I also read way too much cosmo, company and vogue. So I guess I understand colours and stuff, more than someone who doesn't take an active interest in those things. I am addicted to pretty things on glossy pages.

Erm-- Wow, I am so shallow.

The thing is, I really don't judge people who wear it because I know what it's like to really dislike the way you look and want to change it. And I think make-up is a fairly easy, nice, non-invasive way of doing it. But like when I see girls like this on from x-factor, I almost feel sorry for her. I mean, she is so fake, and so trashy and you wonder what happened to her or what people said to her or what she sees in herself that make her think that is better than her normal, regular self. Ew.

I also really love theatrical make-up, like onstage or just like Lady GaGa/David Bowie/Amy Lee-esque; that kind of fashion-forward ideal. FUN.

So, you probably didn't care that much about my answer, did you? lol.

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

OMG I HATE IT. I remember when I was in middle school and I first switched to contacts, everyone made me feel like chicken shit because SUDDENLY I WAS SOO PRETTY! OMG LEXI, YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY WITHOUT YOUR GLASSES!

[magisterequitum.livejournal.com]

This is everything that I wanted to say. Especially your first paragraph.

[clockwork-jo.livejournal.com]

Totally crashing here to say: YES. I am of the 'I actually quite like wearing make-up' camp. And I feel so vulnerable without it.

The war paint analogy is exactly right. I feel so much more strong and confident when I'm wearing even the tiniest bit.

[laeria.livejournal.com]

I absolutely love Carmindy. She's such a joy to watch, and, yeah, she makes it look fun. I think it probably is fun, like clothes and shoes and omg-earrings are, but I don't wear any anyway. Well, maybe once a year, on some Solemn Unique Occasion or other. One of the greatest blessing of being a mathematician is most others don't wear any either.

Mostly, I, like you, cannot stand poking around my eyes. Mascara is torture, though it looks so damn good. Eyeshadow is less ordealous but doesn't look right without mascara, so I don't use it either. And I never, ever use lipstick because I'm awfully in love with the shape and colour of my lips, and putting paint over it feels like - deglorifying them? Like, pfft, for all people know I could have totally unfabulous lips under this stuff?

[mm, I do realise I sound pathologically vain, which I am, about some things. Just, I think it's worth mentioning that while makeup can help build confidence, it can also dissolve it, if you view makeup-enhanced beauty as not your own (which might correlate loosely with the age when you started using makeup, I think).]

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

As a straight-haired girl, I've ALWAYS wanted curly hair, but I've been informed by stylists that the only way to get curls I like is with a curling iron.

Juliet on Lost has my ideal hair. Pretty waves and curls, but not too kinky. And I love/hate her for it.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

It used to make me feel so self-conscious which just reinforced my need to never wear my glasses and to always wear make-up, but now it makes me STABBITTY because I get so pissed at society's expectations on the importance of how women look. UGH.

I've always been really self-conscious though. Like, I had to start wearing glasses in the third grade and I remember taking them with me to school and then hiding them in my desk. After that, I'd always sit in the front row so I could see the board and my habit only changed when I got contacts in the sixth grade.

Thankfully now I like wearing my glasses and I don't feel self-conscious about it. But I still know that people are going to think I look better without my glasses and that pisses me off.

[aisalynn.livejournal.com]

I wear eyeliner and mascara every now and then--if I'm going out I might put on eye shadow and gloss. I rarely where foundation, though I own it should I feel the need to, but most days--yeah, no makeup.

I used to wear a lot more back in high school, or rather, wear it a lot more often at least, but after four years of show choir where we had to cake on the makeup and then during tour weeks have to put up with the moms lining us up and smearing red lipstick across our cheekbones and forcefully blending it into our skin so you could see our "blush" under the spotlights...yeah, I was pretty much over make up after that.

Before all that though, I wore really heavy eyeliner and dark eyeshadow a lot. Went with all my dark clothing and silver jewelery. ;) While my taste in clothing still leans more towards dark shades, I don't wear all the makeup that comes with it. Too much trouble.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

Whoa, you can get your eyelashes permed and tinted? Like, I've heard of getting eyeliner tattoo'd on, but I didn't realize you could do that with your eyelashes.

Also, you sound just like me so I guess I'm shallow, too.



Sorry, Lauren, I'm all over this post!

[blackfrancine.livejournal.com]

Word. To all of it. The expensiveness, the outrage about the double standards. Everything. Word.

I used to wear makeup all the time (mostly just mascara, maybe some eyeliner, and foundation with some lip balm). But nowadays, it's really only for special occasions. I don't know when that changed, really. After I got a stable grown up job, maybe. I'm lucky in that I work for a company that really doesn't care much about professional appearance standards. So, I go in to work every morning with no makeup and my hair in a ponytail. Because I'm exactly like you: I'll take 10 minutes of sleep over long, luscious lashes every single time. And good grief, does it make me feel guilty. Even though my company doesn't give 2 figs about how we look, I still feel like it just tattoos me as a slacker. But on the plus side, I always get compliments when I bother to get gussied up.

Friends in middle school and Seventeen magazine.That's where I learned how to put on makeup. My mom never wore any makeup and neither did my sister. My sister still doesn't--it actually was weird to see her in makeup for her wedding (though my mom started wearing a little bit of makeup when she turned 50 or so). My best friend and I were just talking about this a little while ago, actually. How neither of our moms ever wore makeup, so we ended up clueless. Or--not clueless, I guess--just self taught. Because: I can rock some makeup when I try. I just don't try very often.

This all reminds me of how whenever I straighten my hair, people FREAK THE HELL OUT. Like, suddenly I'm attractive or something. And they tell me I should do it all the time! Like it didn't take an hour and a half to get it to stay that way!

My best friend (mentioned above) has naturally curly, bright red hair. And people do this to her all the time. It chaps my hide SO hard. Because her hair is just stupidly gorgeous. And people have convinced her that is looks better or special or something straight. Boo. I mean, I totally understand wanting a little change every now and then. But, yeah, it's so much work. And I don't think it looks better-- it just looks *different*. But I hate that people have eroded her confidence in her curls! Viva la curls!