I'm a Spike that loves like a Buffy. I over identify with Spike so, so much--I can't even begin to list all the ways in which I do. And maybe there was a time when I loved like him, big and sloppy and all over the place and wanting everything I couldn't have.
But people got hurt. I got hurt. I closed up everything and buttoned it up tight. Now I love quietly, undemonstratively maybe.
Actually, I think Spike and Buffy's versions of love coincide pretty well in S7. They're both quieter about it. They don't talk about it. It's there and they feel it so deeply and it doesn't really need words or labels. It doesn't have to *be* anything. It just is. It's a constant love, and is unwavering for the other person.
Sure, Spike is still insecure. He's unsure of his place in her heart, but he knows that she knows how he feels about her and that's okay. He can live with always loving her quietly, because he knows it's not going to fade in time. And Buffy... well, she's not sure what the future holds. She knows how he feels, and how she feels, even if she's not willing to name it until the end. She might not understand that he's too insecure to get what she's feeling for him--Spike's always understood her so well, I don't think it occurs to her that this is his blind spot.
But I think she does love him. Very much. And I think he loves her so deeply it's like breathing.
And yeah, I'm not really saying anything new here, except that I get it and agree wholeheartedly.
Thing is, I fell in love with Buffy because Spike loved her. I wasn't sure of her, for a long time, but he loved her so I knew there was something in her worth loving. Writing my current fic really made me try to get in her head and try to understand things from her POV... and now, while I still overly identify with Spike, I think I'm a little bit Buffy, too. And I love them both.
...
Xander's little speech in Into the Woods however went a long way toward making me dislike a character that I had always enjoyed before that. Really, WTF was he thinking?
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But people got hurt. I got hurt. I closed up everything and buttoned it up tight. Now I love quietly, undemonstratively maybe.
Actually, I think Spike and Buffy's versions of love coincide pretty well in S7. They're both quieter about it. They don't talk about it. It's there and they feel it so deeply and it doesn't really need words or labels. It doesn't have to *be* anything. It just is. It's a constant love, and is unwavering for the other person.
Sure, Spike is still insecure. He's unsure of his place in her heart, but he knows that she knows how he feels about her and that's okay. He can live with always loving her quietly, because he knows it's not going to fade in time. And Buffy... well, she's not sure what the future holds. She knows how he feels, and how she feels, even if she's not willing to name it until the end. She might not understand that he's too insecure to get what she's feeling for him--Spike's always understood her so well, I don't think it occurs to her that this is his blind spot.
But I think she does love him. Very much. And I think he loves her so deeply it's like breathing.
And yeah, I'm not really saying anything new here, except that I get it and agree wholeheartedly.
Thing is, I fell in love with Buffy because Spike loved her. I wasn't sure of her, for a long time, but he loved her so I knew there was something in her worth loving. Writing my current fic really made me try to get in her head and try to understand things from her POV... and now, while I still overly identify with Spike, I think I'm a little bit Buffy, too. And I love them both.
...
Xander's little speech in Into the Woods however went a long way toward making me dislike a character that I had always enjoyed before that. Really, WTF was he thinking?