Interestingly, my issue with Becky Chambers is kinda the same as your issue with Bones. There are elements to her worldbuilding & characterization that felt to me super toxic/disturbing, but which she clearly had meant to be neutral or even positive.

And I have soo many near misses. In general, if something is recced to me as "just like [thing that I love]" it's usually a miss, because often the thing that is similar is not the thing that made that canon interesting to me.

The most recent near-miss is probably Andor, which I should have loved (and expected to love), but which I think I would have liked better if it had been a true ensemble show with Andor just one of the many people working for the rebellion instead of making him a nexus.