Yeah, I think you're dead on about this.

and some of the things people say in comments on ao3 are... wild. Like 'why would you think that's an okay thing to say to a stranger'-wild.

I KNOW. I haven't had that experience myself--just a few mildly weird comments now and then--but I follow a very established writer on Tumblr who sometimes shares some of the things people say in AO3 comments and I cannot believe people are saying that shit.