I really wish I could get to that "I'm only writing for me" place, but I have not yet reached it.

But I also fear we won't get old fandom back and that ship has sailed....and that means those of us still left have to stick together and make our own fun.

You are no doubt correct about this.

The good thing about fandom now though is that it's so big that you can absolutely stay out of the wank and the flame wars. That was definitely very different in the late 90s.

True! Even on Tumblr, I hear rumblings of far-off fandom wank, but it never gets anywhere near me. A true blessing!