Tonight I was going to go to a potluck with the single's group from church (not a meet-someone-to-marry singles group, just a we-hang-out-and-we-aren't-married-like-everyone-else group). I should have gone. I really should have. But I stayed home instead and continued to write, and I'm telling myself that when I get published I can look back at this and think, "That was a good decision because it gave me more practice which made me a better writer."

I'm choosing to ignore the fact that what I wrote was 7,000 words of cracky gender!swap Infinite fic where Sungyeol wakes up as a girl. Because that is irrelevant.

Y'all, I am so, so bad at socializing. So bad. I am also bad at not writing weird fic.

Y'all, I just finished my epic. Well, not finished-finished, obviously, because there's still quite a bit of tweaking/editing to do before it's ready. But I wrote the last words of it just now!

It hasn't hit me yet, but I'm sure once it does I'll be curled up in the corner, shaking and crying.

THIS STORY.

Can we talk about the art of the title? And how sometimes you have this brilliant title and then you build a fic/story/poem around it and other times you've got a great story and you want to post it, but you can't because you can't come up with a title that works for it? Sometimes things sound too trite or obvious or else too ambiguous, but titles are important, because I absolutely will skip over a fic if the title (usually + summary) rubs me the wrong way.

So do y'all have tips on story titles? Mine have really evolved over all my years of fic writing. I'm not particularly fond of one-word titles anymore even though that's what I used to cling to. If I go with that, it has to be something with a lot of zing to it (I still like "Chromaticity" and "Liminal" because those aren't everyday kind of words as is evidenced by the fact that my spellcheck isn't recognizing them right now).

I often resort to poetry or more obscure lyrics (I rarely like it when I think people will recognize where the line comes from). Paul Simon and Joni Mitchell are my go-tos when it comes to lyrics, and I feel like you can't go wrong with Siken or Carl Phillips when it comes to poetry.

But sometimes even that fails me. What do y'all do when you need a title and nothing is coming? Got anything ridiculously creative?

Hellooooo, children. I think I’m back? I feel pretty okay; I think I needed a hiatus, it’d been a while since I’d taken one. So I’ve mostly been watching reality shows about kpop idols and reblogging pictures of pretty people on tumblr, but now I’m writing ALL the things and I feel up to wading through my flist again. I’m not going to try to go back and catch all the things I missed, so I’ll repeat: if you have anything you’d like me to check out, let me know.


+ It’s been well over 100 degrees this week (and will likely continue to be), but it hasn’t been too awful because the humidity has been reasonable, which is not something I ever thought I would say about Middle Tennessee. It’s drydrydry here right now and all the grass is dead so it isn’t as pretty of a green as it usually is here this time of year, so I’m praying for rain because we need it. But I have to admit that the lack of humidity is nice.


+ In book-related news, I am finally reading Bitterblue and it’s fantastic. I think it’s Cashore’s best book yet, though I’m only halfway through. Little Queen Bitterblue! So lovely!


+ Also re: books, I learned the other day that Eloise Jarvis McGraw, writer of one of my all-time favorite YA novels Mara: Daughter of the Nile (perhaps the book I’ve most often re-read in my life? I’ve memorized sections of it and my copy is falling apart) wrote an adult novel about Hatshepsut. Obviously as soon as I heard this I hied myself to the internet and looked for a copy. But this isn’t just out of print, it’s out of print. The only copy on Abebooks was $350. I found a copy on Amazon that was substantially less but still way, way more than I’d usually pay for a book but I splurged anyway because A) I live very frugally and I feel it’s okay for me to do something like that once in a while, B) I have always been obsessed with ancient Egypt and this is totally Relevant to My Interests, and C) did I mention she wrote one of my favorite books? I will definitely let y’all know if it’s good. I can’t wait for it to arrive! *happy dance*


+ Here’s something you never thought you’d hear me say: I’m writing smutty slashfic. Who even am I anymore? I don’t know, but just writing it makes me blush. I’ve gotten to the point over my years (and years) of fandom that I can read porn straight-faced (though you know me: I mostly skim to get to the actual emotions because who cares about the physical stuff?) but writing it myself is a whole different story. Obviously since this is me we're talking about, the physical smut is just an excuse for emotional porn, by which I mean everyone has too many feelings and they're all incapable of expressing any of them but the ugliest ones.


+ I only have like 10,000 more words to write in my novel. But I keep getting distracted by my shiny new fandoms and running off to write fanfic. I need to buckle down and finish because finishing was the whole point of this thing. I don’t think I’m going to clean this one up for publication; I’m going to set it to the side for a while. But finishing it was the goal, and I need to make it happen.


+ Is it okay for me to admit that I have now seen Brave and that I found it disappointing? ( cut for length but no real spoilers )

+ Something that I watched that wasn’t at all disappointing was Appropriate Adult, a BBC two-part series about a woman who was the appropriate adult (via wikipedia: “a parent or guardian or social worker who must be present if a young person or vulnerable adult is to be searched or questioned in police custody”) to Fred West, the serial killer who with his wife killed at least 13 women in Gloucester during the 70s/80s. It starred Emily Watson, always extremely good, who was very convincing as a quiet sort of housewife-type and Dominic West from The Hour. I liked the contrast between his character on the hour—charming, rich, educated—and his portrayal of West—working class, manipulative, rough-edged and a psychopath. He was excellent, and I hear he won a BAFTA for it, which was well-deserved.

I can’t say that I exactly recommend it, because it was rough. Not physically graphic at all, because it’s all about the aftermath of his arrest, but the things you learn about what the Wests did will obviously never leave your brain after you hear them. Their actions are the kind that we like to convince ourselves are inhuman, and I can’t emphasize that enough. That said, it was an extremely well-done production, I was very impressed. If you think you can handle it, you might want to check it out.


+ I also saw Snow White and the Huntsman a while back, and I liked it. Visually it was absolutely stunning and exactly the type of thing I love. The characters were a bit underdeveloped, but it was trying to be a fairy tale, and that comes with the territory. There was some weak dialogue, some cheesy moments, and some other weaknesses, but all in all I thought it was a good summer popcorn movie with a nice twist of being A) AMAZING TO LOOK AT and B) about ladies.


+ I have watched 2 and a half episodes of Teen Wolf. I am trying to get into this thing because everyone loves it, but I need a goal: tell me when it’s going to become an obsession, please. You know I'll hold out as long as I know how long I need to.


+ The only kdrama I’m all caught up with at the moment is I Do I Do, which is kind of ridiculous. But it’s very light and adorable and has a noona romance that works for me with a badass hbic leading lady and the world’s sweetest guy as her romantic interest. I am going to catch up on Gaksital soon and also get back into Big, which I hear has gotten really awesome.


+ I am a giant sap (things you already knew if you have been here long), so have a video that actually made me tear up:

+ Does anybody else think that the reason they kept Benedict Cumberbatch's role in the new Trek movie a secret is because they knew people would be incredibly pissed at this white guy taking Ricardo Montalban's place and they didn't want to deal with the fallout until they were able to say "Oh, it's too late, we already filmed it"? Because I hate to be that cynical about things, but I'm kind of that cynical about things. Needless to say, I'm pissed. I've been looking forward to this movie, itching for this movie since the last one came out, and now this. Also: if any character didn't need to be rebooted, it was definitely Khan. Ugh. I am distressed.

+ Well, Mark at Mark Watches pretty much had all the right reactions to Fool for Love, my favorite episode of TV ever. And I thought he was surprisingly subdued and thoughtful about it. I was pleased.

+ I have watched four episodes of Queen In-Hyun's Man AND IT IS THE MOST WONDERFUL THING. Kim Boong-Do is a wonderful little scholar-turned-resistance fighter (of sorts, it's complicated) in 1694 Joseon Korea, and through some plot machinations he ends up traveling to the future on several occasions and meeting up with this actress who is playing the queen he serves in a new drama. And what is delightful about this show, besides how brilliantly it's shot and styled (which is brilliant), is the character of Kim Boong-Do. I like Choi Hee-Jin, the heroine, quite a lot, too, but Kim Boong-Do is flawless.


source

He's adorable and precious for one thing. But he's also loyal, smart, and incredibly competent. I feel like most time-travel stories really go overboard with CULTURE SHOCK, but Boong-Do's reactions are very calm. He doesn't know things, but he learns very, very quickly, and he has a good enough mind that he can put two and two together and figure things out instead of acting like an idiot. He acts exactly like a smart guy would if he was suddenly time-travelling. He even figures out that he's time travelling all by himself. I can't get over how well the show is handling him and his jumping around through the centuries. It's brilliant.

There is nothing I love more than a show that lets its characters be smart instead of forcing them to be idiots for the sake of the plot. If your plot requires your characters to be idiots IT IS NOT A GOOD PLOT.

[Also, the kid playing Han Dong-Min is insanely cute. THOSE CHEEKBONES.]

+ I feel like King 2 Hearts is becoming kind of sloppy? But I'm still invested, mostly because of Eun Shi-Kyung and his earnestness and his face. Love of mine. Between Ji-Hyuk and Shi-Kyung and now Boong-Do, I am falling in love with kdrama guys right and left.

+ NEW EPISODE OF LOVE RAIN WAITING FOR ME TONIGHT. I DIE OF LOVE.

+ I've watched the first five or so episodes of Young Justice. I like it, but I don't have loads of feels yet. Hopefully those will come.

+ It seems like Vampire Diaries' goal in life right now is to remind me of why I hate love triangles. IT IS WORKING.

+ I am having Bonnie/Jeremy feels again. I know it's insanely underdeveloped, but THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER. I'm rarely struck by how a couple looks aesthetically because I'm so busy being obsessed with their characters, but these two are so beautiful individually and when they're together they become even more beautiful and speaking of beautiful if you aren't on tumblr you missed this, which just reminded me of how aesthetically pleasing Buffy and Spike are. Seriously one of my favorite tumblr posts ever. I look at it, and I think, "This is why tumblr exists."

+ I went to see Avengers on Sunday by myself, because that's what I do when I want to see a movie and no one else will go see it with me. I think it's strange that this is considered strange, considering that you're SITTING IN THE DARK and that common courtesy demands you not talk during the show. And yet you're supposed to feel like a loser if you go by yourself? I do not. My mama said that the reason you go with people is so that you have someone to talk to about it afterwards. I said, "That's what I have the internet for." She said, "Oh, yeah. I forgot." TROLOLOLOL.

( Avengers feelings be here )

All in all, it was just a popcorn movie, but it was a good popcorn movie because it cared about its characters. And I love a good popcorn movie.

+ I am now dreading Anne Hathaway as Catwoman even more than before. DO NOT WANT.

+ Lil Sis graduated on Saturday. Which makes me feel old. Lots of family times, and though it was great seeing everybody, it was overwhelming to have everyone together in my parents' house like that--so many people in such a small space! I loved them but was glad when they were gone and I could breathe again.

+ I have discovered the best barbeque place in town. If you're ever in the area ASK ME WHAT IT IS so that I can tell you and you can get some of the best barbeque I've ever had. Everyone in the family agrees that it's so good that you don't even need sauce.

+ I just finished The Man without a Face about Vladimir Putin, and now I am depressed about the world. It was an excellently written book, fascinating and insightful, but being reminded that there are people with so little regard for human life, who will sacrifice anyone and everyone to get what they want...it just reminds me of how broken the world is.

+ I have hit the climax for my novel. And...I have no idea of how to make my hero end up in the vicinity of my villain for a show-down. It would frankly be stupid for her to go into it on purpose, because she is so outmatched, and yet I can't have the villain go to her because of reasons. I think I have written myself into a corner and am not sure what to do. This is the first time since I started the book 65K words ago that I don't have any idea of what to write next. UGH. I really don't know what to do. I didn't write yesterday and I probably won't today, and I do not like what this is doing to my momentum.

So snickfic did this, and I thought it looked like fun. Unfortunately, unlike her I don't have stats from my lj, because I suspect those would skew heavily towards my Buffy/Spike fic. However, here are the stats on my 10 most-hit fics at AO3.

title	hits	comments	kudos	fandom	word count	notes
how the heart approaches what it yearns	1414	9	46	Downton Abbey	909	Yuletide Madness
Of Ill-Advised Imprints and Rather Fetching Ewok Queens	1304	41	4	Dollhouse	5494	Yuletide
they that go down to the sea in ships	492	20	55	the Witch of Blackbird Pond	3680	Yuletide
and i said "who am i to blow against the wind?"	434	2	13	Downton Abbey	864	Yuletide Madness
May the Moon and Sunlight Seem	420	4	17	Harry Potter	2125
The Sun If by Night, the Moon If by Day	373	5	23	Ladyhawke	1662	Yuletide
Requiem	358	3	1	SPN, FNL, BtVS, FF, HP, and Heroes	3944	crossover*
Commas and Ampersands	342	1	8	Gilmore Girls	3235
Basiare	322	2	3	Buffy the Vampire Slayer	3998
Afterglow	286	2	1	Chronicles of Narnia	708

*I say crossover, but none of these characters interact with any fandom but their own. It's basically a collection of different stories built around one theme (blame May).

All of these fics, with the exception of "they that go down to the sea in ships" were posted before kudos were introduced, so it's not surprising that it has by far the most amount of kudos.

What have I learned? that Yuletide and Downton Abbey are sure ways of getting hits, and that nobody's reading my Buffyverse fic over there. Interesting! I'm pretty sure the reason "Requiem" is as high as it is is because it's archived under 6 separate fandoms, so it's six times more likely to get hits. All of my Yuletide fics are in that top-10, which doesn't surprise me. And I'm 90% sure that "May the Moon and Sunlight Seem" got recced somewhere fairly recently, because I saw like three comments pop up on it all around teh same time. So recs really do make a difference!

+ So apparently last night's TVD pissed everyone off? I haven't seen it yet, but I'm bracing myself for it. Do y'all sometimes wonder why we watch this ridiculous excuse for a show? I often do, and then ever_neutral writes perfect meta and I suddenly have feelings all over the place and I remember.

+ In case you missed it (read: in case you're not on tumblr), Joe Dempsie is perfect, and I want to glomp him:




+ For snickfic's amusement: this thing has informed me that Lauren is made of kitty cats, cherries, and awkwardness. With a dash of porn. WITH A DASH OF PORN. I still need to steal your "I'm bored and your porn is boring" icon.

+ Love Rain continues to be so perfect I could die. This week's episodes were so unrelentingly adorable that I almost couldn't stand it. I expect the angst is coming soon, but I have high hopes of getting a happy ending for Joon and Ha Na, so I'm happy. If you need something to watch, you should high-tail it over to dramafever.com and watch the heck out of this show. These kids have faces and sometimes they put them together.



+ I will probably try to FINALLY watch some of Young Justice this weekend. I have to write my rarewomen fic, but I'm hoping to get into this show because I am overwhelmed with love for y'all's feels. You know how sometimes you love a thing because your friends love it but you really know nothing about it? That is how I feel about this show. I love it though I haven't seen it.

+ I dreamed I was Fox Mulder's assistant last night (I have no clue where Scully was). Which I guess is my subconscious telling me to finish that damn show.

+ All of my GoT feels continue to be about the Stark girls. And Oona Chaplin being flawless. When is The Hour coming back? I need more of it in my life.

+ I can't decide whether I love or hate y'all who have been reblogging quotes from 50 Shades of Grey all over my dash. On the one hand: so incredibly, ridiculously bad that it's hilarious. On the other hand, I can never erase those things from my mind. dollsome has noted (and is indeed correct) that the series seems to exactly reproduce the feel of the Twilight books (not to mention Bella's characterization) only now with 100% more pr0n. It's kind of amazing. AMAZINGLY BAD AND DISGUSTING. I feel sorry for the women who are so into this series because they don't realize there's better porn on the internet for free.

+ 60,000 words on the novel! Only about 20,000 more to go!

+ I realize that some of you might not be nerdfighters (though you totally should), so if you missed this video you should watch it now. I really feel like it's one of the best that Hank has ever made, and it's dripping with truth.



+ It is Friday.

+ That's...it? Feel free, as always, to tell me about your lives, because I am always interested.

I don’t really have much to say? But I feel the need to check in and make posts so:

+ Kdramas have taken over my brain. I remember once Emmie asked me what I liked about them, and I don't think I answered because at the time I didn't know, but now I know: they cater to my id far more than American TV does. I think that's because they're less post-modern-ly ironic? They're not afraid to be earnest, plus a lot of my kinks seem to be their kinks. I don't know that they've yet produced something that captures life the way, say, Friday Night Lights or (I hear tell) The Wire or something, but it's a younger medium over there and they have given me things like Mawang, and I will die on this hill: THAT DRAMA WAS ART. HIGH ART. The end.

+ I’ve watched the first three episodes of My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, which I love mostly because of Shin Min Ah’s absolutely unbelievably adorable performance as said gumiho. It is, however, a Hong sisters show, and I have the same complaints about it that I do about their other stuff (too slapstick and OTT at times, too much bathroom humor, etc.). But I’m definitely enjoying it. Mi Ho reminds me so much of Anya with her blunt literalism coming from not knowing modern culture, and while Dae Woong hasn't totally won me over yet (he's too selfish at this point), I can already tell he's going to grow into someone awesome. They will SO be one of my ships, I can already tell.

+ On the other hand…it might be a while till I finish it, because I have decided that this weekend I’m going to rewatch Shut Up! Flower Boy Band. I cannot get over how much I love it. I can’t get over how much I care about these kids and their lost little selves. I can’t get over how great (and nuanced) the bromances are and how functional (and adorable) the ships are. I can’t get over the pacing and HOW IT DOESN’T LAG and is exactly as long as it should be. I can’t get over how much it cares about its characters and the lives it lets them live. I’m going to be buying this on DVD, joining Goong and (probably) Mawang on my list of kdramas-I-must-own. GAH.

+ As brilliant as this drama is, I can’t find any good icons for it. So if any of you are ever bored and want to fool around with some caps, I’ve put some (read: a ridiculous amount) behind the cut. I don’t know how good they’ll be for iconning, since that’s not what I do, but they’re there if you ever want to make my day for some reason.

( cut for caps )

+ [Sidebar: sometimes it sucks being so picky about icons. I mean, I could easily just crop any of these caps and BOOM there would be an icon. They're quality enough for that. But just a cap doesn't do it for me. I want them to be pretty and artistic and way more crafted than I am capable of doing. Ugh. I should really, really teach myself how to icon so that I'm not at the whims of other people.]

+ I’m also working on a picspam of my fave Korean actors. I think I just miss tumblr and all those pretty, pretty graphics.

+ I am behind on American TV. I haven’t watched this last week’s TVD or GOT or anything at all. That’s how much in kdrama land I am.

+ Also how in kdrama I am: my typical romance-will-happen-to-me-if-it-does-and-if-it-doesn’t-I’ve-got-the-internet-and-stories attitude has flown out the window and I’m all I WANT TO BE IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE. Hopefully this will pass soon. I’m reminding myself of the terrible breakups Lil Sis and the BFF have just gone through.

+ The BFF and I have plans to see Hunger Games at some point this week, so look for my thoughts on that.

+ Still plugging away at the novel. I’ll have 50,000 words by the end of the week. I’m very proud of myself!

+ Still haven't written any fic. I have like 500 words of my mpreg fic, but that is all I have accomplished in forever. I SUCK AT LIFE.

+ Blahblahblah. But if anything's going on with you, feel free to tell me about it! I'd love to hear!

+ Okay, so I did this thing where I wrote a scene for my novel before I actually started writing the novel in the proper order (I do this a lot). And I liked it! It was a good scene! So I was kind of writing toward it, if that makes any sense, and I was really looking forward to reaching the point where I could plug it in to the story.

Well, I just reached that point only…I realize that I wrote it from the perspective of Boy Character when the rest of the novel has been from the POV of Girl Character. SO I HAVE TO REWRITE IT. Even though it’s really good as it is! *sigh*

+ I have (at least) two big climactic scenes in the novel (because my novel is a lady, not a man), and I’m getting very close to the first one and FREAKING OUT. What if it doesn’t have the right emotional resonance? AAAAAH! I can’t figure out why this is so much harder for me than fic is. Is it a psychological thing? Was fic this hard for me when I first started writing it? (That was over 10 years ago! I don’t remember!)

+ Even if you have no interest in Kdramas, you should probably get on Hulu or Dramafever and watch City Hunter. It is so damn accessible. And Korean Batman >>>>>>>> American Batman. Plus: best heroine EVER! She hella competent and strong and has taken care of herself for years but she’s also incredibly emotionally open and adorable, which is a combination I don’t feel like you see a lot of? She’s the best. And check out these boyfriends (unless you're a spoiler-phobe. But I feel like it's only vaguely spoiler-y?).

+ Also, Lee Min Ho is rather attractive.



So there’s that.

+ The kdramas I've been watching lately (specifically Mawang and City Hunter) have these fantastic, complex relationships between guys, especially guys who are very different (think, like Spike and Angel level complex). And I love them. If I was going to be a big slasher, I would slash the heck out of kdrama guys. BUT. It makes me sad that there are no complex relationships between ladies. They're either A) good friends but usually not on a complex or plot-related level or B) competitors/enemies. And hey--this is a problem with Western TV, too, I just happen to be watching more Korean TV at the moment. And it makes me wistful. Why is it that guys get all the nuances of relationships and ladies never do? It makes me pout.

+ You know what was a good show? Recess. I was probably a little too old to be watching it, but I enjoyed it so much with the King of the Playground and the Mean Girl clique of all the girls named Ashley (and then that one random girl who WASN’T named Ashley, and they had a whole episode where the truth came out that one of the Ashleys wasn’t really an Ashley and it was THE DRAMA) and kickball being the Most Important Thing in the World. I was thinking of the episode the other day where the big guy (whose name I can’t remember) sings in the bathroom (and I feel like he was singing “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen” or something like that) and he sounds fantastic but then when he sings outside the bathroom he can’t sing at all? And for some reason the other characters need him to sing outside of the bathroom so they, like, put toilets or something in the place where they need him to sing so that he can pretend it’s the bathroom? LULZ.

Anyway, that was a good show.

+ Vampire Diaries meta all over my flist all the time. How does this show that started out so silly inspire so much awesome meta? Damon Salvatore's self-awareness, I love you.

+ And, as expected:





+ Let us not talk about Sansa beating Buffy. I love Sansa loads, but BUFFY ♥♥♥♥♥


+ I actually cannot choose between Scully and Donna. I ended up going with Scully but only barely. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY MAKE ME CHOOOOOSE? Caroline vs. Veronica was also evil. EVIL EVIL EVIL.

+ Tami hasn’t got a chance in hell, but you should vote for anyway. *wistful sigh*